The Social Network: the kink meme!

It's Complicated: But sexy!


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[PART SEVEN] - CLOSED
zuckonitkinkeme wrote in tsn_kinkmeme
quick note; GUYS. please be aware that if you posted a prompt in part six and it is now screened, i have posted them to the post already - so that you guys don't have to. thanks for being patient and making the fill-a-thon such a success!

sorry i didn't get much of delicious done; i lacked the internet over the break but rest assured i have absolutely nothing to do so will get it, hopefully.


THE SOCIAL NETWORK KINK MEME


ASK THE MODS * FAQ * DISCUSSION * RESEARCH * FILL LIST * PART ONE * PART ONE (OVERFLOW) * PART TWO * PART TWO (OVERFLOW) * PART THREE * (PART THREE (OVERFLOW) * PART FOUR * PART FIVE * PART SIX


GENERAL RULES;

IMPORTANT: please DO NOT post prompts about any non-public people as part of a prompt. for example: randi zuckerberg is fine as she is a public figure both on the internet and on facebook itself. priscilla chan is NOT as she is not a public figure.

if you're in doubt, please message the mod or leave a comment in the discussion post.



♥ post requests and responses in the comments to this post.
♥ be respectful.
♥ both a pairing/character AND a prompt/kink must be posted.
♥ one pairing/prompt per comment please.
♥ you are encouraged to try and write a prompt for every request you make.
♥ we are slash, femslash, het, three-and-moresomes etc. friendly. (we are even incest friendly what with some of our characters being twins and all...)
♥ no pairing bashing, OK? no need to wank over ships.
♥ long and short fics welcome. multiple responses encouraged!
♥ please try to refrain from saying 'seconded!' as much as possible.
♥ on RPF: Please disclaim that it is RPF, a work of fiction and in no way related to the actual actors/persons/etc. (i wouldn't even try and discourage RPF from this meme ;))
WARN FOR COMMON TRIGGERS, PLEASE




FORMAT OF PROMPTS;


♥ alphabetize pairings/threesomes/moresomes. (e.g. Eduardo/Mark/Sean etc.)
♥ put [RPF] before RPF prompts. (e.g. [RPF] Andrew/Jesse)
♥ for crossover prompts: "[Crossover], The Social Network Character(s)/Other Character(s), [Fandom]" (e.g. [Crossover], Eduardo/Columbus, [Zombieland])
♥ no "!" in pairings, only in descriptions. (e.g. Eduardo/Mark, FacebookCreator!Eduardo, CFO!Mark)
♥ anyone, everyone, no one? Use "Other." (e.g. Sean/Other)
♥ put [GEN] before GEN prompts.




FILLS;


♥ please don't embed. link to images/videos.
♥ no locked material. this includes communities, even if membership is open.
♥ fills can be posted anonymously or not.
♥ fills can be anything: fic, art, vid, fanmix, podfic, etc.
♥ all prompts are open to fills at all times, even if they have been filled in the past or are being currently filled by someone else. multiple fills are positively encouraged; if something appeals to you then do not be put off creating a new fill by the existence of a prior one.
NEW: ♥ PLEASE comment with the first of your fill to the PROMPT and then all future updates as a comment to the FIRST PART of the fill. this makes it easier for both the WIP spreadhseet and for archiving stuff on delicious. it also helps people who are trying to catch up on updates and don't have to look through every fill on the prompt (should it have more than one). thank you.






[ARCHIVING]

[DELICIOUS]

[UNFILLED REQUESTS]

[FILLED REQUESTS]

[FLAT VIEW]


have fun!

THERE WILL BE UNMARKED SPOILERS. enter at your own risk! :D



PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING;

i know you guys are enjoying this meme and i appreciate that but please can you put the SUBJECT HEADER on your prompt. you would REALLY be helping me out if you could do that. it just saves time for me when i'm trying to tag everything in delicious.

AND PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT repost prompts from parts three, four, five or six over here again. the delicious is around for people to find prompts they may not have already seen. (prompts for parts one and two are now up for reposting.)

NEW RULE;

PLEASE TAKE NOTE OF THE 'FILL' RULES. THERE HAS BEEN A CHANGE. thank you.
Tags:

Mark/Eduardo, AU, kept boy

(Anonymous)

2011-06-10 11:54 pm (UTC)

At least one of the underage girls Sean brought to the house in Palo Alto was for Mark (Mark's barely an adult himself, right, so he wouldn't really mind if the girls weren't quite 18. Right?). See, Sean figured, if he could get Mark laid on a consistent basis then Mark would be more inclined to let him have a say/position in the company and who they got involved with. But Mark didn't show any interest. So Sean invites his hot, smart, charming, Brazilian friend, Eduardo, over and then - well, Mark shows some interest, then, even if it is just hanging out somewhere besides in front of his computer.

Like Sean, Eduardo moves in.

Like Sean, Mark listens to Eduardo.

Like Sean, Eduardo hangs out at the offices without really doing anything.

Unlike Sean, when things blow up and they all get stupid-rich, Eduardo moves in with Mark. And accompanies Mark to events. And spends Mark's money (not that Mark's doing anything with it).

I don't want Wardo to be a golddigger, per se, but I want Mark to take care of him because he wants to, and I want Eduardo to accept because, seriously, why not? And maybe everyone's worried that Eduardo's taking advantage of Mark, but he's really not. Like, they have quiet evenings at home and Mark is able to relax with him in a way he can't really with anyone else. Eduardo's basically Mark's equivalent of those young women who married really rich, older men and don't seem to do anything accept be married to a wealthy man and take awesome vacations and wear expensive clothes. And no one believes that he actually loves Mark, even though he does.

Re: Mark/Eduardo, AU, kept boy

(Anonymous)

2011-06-11 07:24 am (UTC)

do... do you mind if i tweak this? and make it like. everyone thinks wardo is a kept boy and plays angry birds on his iphone all day and works really hard at maxing out mark's credit cards on designer clothes and was basically introduced to mark by sean as a pimp move? but in actuality he was introduced as a potential investor (and did actually end up going in halfsies with the angel investment, thus giving him legit shares), and is checking the foreign markets and global weather systems and like, texting in what stocks he wants to buy and sell all the time when it just looks like he's goofing off with his phone? and, ok, is trying really hard to max out one of mark's credit cards, but mostly because it really kills him that the companies just keep raising the limits? at first it was hilarious but now wardo has a grudge, one of those childish vendetta things, where he wants to finally push the credit card company over the edge, and mark just gives him a vaguely bemused, besotted look when he rants?

sorry i just really have this huge love for fic where things look different on the outside than they are on the inside, and it would really crack me up to have everyone believe wardo is a gold digger after mark's billions when wardo is actually a billionaire in his own right who is secretly laughing at them alllll. mark still takes care of him monetarily and stuff because it's his way of showing he cares without actually saying it, and wardo knows and acknowledges and is tolerantly amused by this, while everyone not in the know makes tortured "but he's using you!" faces.

is this ok?

Re: Mark/Eduardo, AU, kept boy

(Anonymous)

2011-06-11 08:43 am (UTC)

But that's a whole different fic. A far less angsty, kinky and actually pretty conflict-free fic. The only conflict in your fic is easily resolved with Eduardo revealing that he's a shareholder. The conflict in the original prompt affects both protagonists deeply, with Mark forever having to wonder if Eduardo is sticking around for the wrong reason and Eduardo forever wondering if Mark considers him some sort of prostitute. And is pretty difficult to resolve because it's so character-based. A "I'm a shareholder, bitch" won't do it.

I'm not the OP and I actually like your idea but I wish someone would fill the original prompt.

angsty minifill 1/?

(Anonymous)

2011-06-11 09:19 am (UTC)

ahaha ok i see your point ~ my mind originally immediately went to the crack place, but the angst is delicious too, so here:

At some point Dustin looks up from his screen to see Chris vaguely frowning, eyes fixed to a point in the distance. "Dude," he says, "your face is gonna stick that way you do it long enough."

If anything, the frown deepens. "Since when did Sean's friend move in too?"

Dustin glances over. Tall, tanned and handsome is leaning over Mark, who is wired in but somehow managing to lean back. "That guy? He didn't move in."

"He hasn't left the house in the last week, Dustin," Chris says. Wry and dry and unamused. Something hard in his eyes and his voice, something Dustin isn't used to associating with Chris. "I'd say that's 'moved in'."

"Eh," Dustin shrugs. He cracks his neck and then twists to crack his back, because sitting at a computer for hours on end will definitely do bad things to your joints. "Mark's less cranky now that he's getting some, I vote we leave it for now."

"For now," Chris agrees, still scowling.

Except for now turns into weeks and then months and then, oh, look, they're millionaires - they're billionaires - and there's no getting rid of Eduardo Saverin's polite, friendly, gold-digging face.

...

They meet because Sean Parker likes to imagine himself a pimp in a past life, or something, the way he parades underage girls in front of Mark likes he's selling them. It's not that Mark's oblivious, just that after the whole Erica Albright thing his mom spent a few hours every weekend long distance counselling him on his rage issues toward women and how he needs to, "Respect female empowerment, Mark. Imagine what you've said and done is something another man is saying and doing to your sisters -" and, okay, that kind of turned Mark off of women forever.

So he doesn't do anything with the girls, and then Sean brings by Eduardo - and, yeah. Mark's definitely not oblivious. Eduardo's definitely not a girl.

It works out.

...

Eduardo actually has a year on Mark, so in this equation he's the cougar. Kind of. Can a guy be a cougar?

Anyway, he can get Mark to unplug every other day or so by luring him to the bathroom or bedroom with blow job bribes. He's really good at those. He does this thing where he nudges Mark's thighs apart with his face and then rests his cheek against the inside of Mark's left thigh and works Mark's dick with his right palm, really slow and slick, and then he leans forward and starts to make out with Mark's balls, or at least that's how it feels - puts his mouth on one, then the other, tongues them, makes this noise deep in his throat that's like, part moan, all vibration - and Mark gets his hand on the back of Eduardo's head and just holds on, doesn't push or pull or tangle or anything, he just wants to touch - and then Eduardo puts his mouth on the head of Mark's dick and just sucks at him for a few seconds - and, fuck, fuck.

It's hot, okay, it's really hot.

And he swallows, too, which is also hot.

And he smiles up at Mark still between his legs only it's not a sultry or sexy smile, just kind of goofy and happy, and he says shit like, "Red bull makes you taste caffeinated," and Mark sputters out a laugh around the afterglow, and he feels pretty goofy and happy himself. He can sleep a little bit after an orgasm, stress unwinding from his gut all through his spine and limbs; and Eduardo stays in bed with him, but doesn't try to cuddle or cling - just locks their ankles together, this weird tiny gesture that feels a thousand times more intimate than anything Mark's ever done.

angsty minifill 2/?

(Anonymous)

2011-06-11 09:49 am (UTC)

Maybe it sounds (is) selfish, but what Mark likes most is how he doesn't actually have to do anything to get Eduardo off; Eduardo sucks him, or fucks him, or arranges himself to be fucked (he like, Mark doesn't even know, sometimes Eduardo will put on a show with his fingers and lube but sometimes he's already good to go when he rolls the condom on Mark's erection -), and after he just smiles at Mark like Mark orgasming was the end goal here, not like Mark's committed some kind of crime by ignoring Eduardo's dick.

At first Mark made some perfunctory offers at reciprocation, but Eduardo just batted him away and told him to get some sleep. Usually Mark does; sometimes, though, he'll stay drowsily awake, eyes half-slitted, watching Eduardo palm himself and then jack off, his long erection weeping semen all over his hand. Sometimes Eduardo will ignore his dick to fingerfuck himself which is also hot, but those times are usually when he knows Mark is watching, but they're both pretending he's not, so it's like, pseudo voyeuristic/exhibitionist.

But yeah, Eduardo's easy; and he's a sure thing; and sometimes Sean jokes that Mark should be getting bored of having the same flavour for so long, but mostly Mark just likes the steady comfortable familiarity. The no-drama.

Eduardo's easy, when everything else in Mark's life is hard, and he appreciates that.

...

How it all starts for Eduardo is pretty much Sean saying he needs his gaydar to figure out what's up with his boy, who is ignoring all the hot ass Sean is parading in and out of the house. Eduardo rolls his eyes and says something like, Maybe he's not a pedophile, Parker, and Sean punches him on the bicep all bitch don't even, because they both know he likes them young but not, like, young.

So, Sean drags Eduardo to the house in Palo Alto currently occupied by like, the stench of obsessive hard work and genius, as well as the sleep deprived bodies of around half a dozen programmers, one of which is Sean's newest golden goose. Sean introduces them once he's wrestled Mark's attention from his laptop and, by the way Mark's gaze flickers up and down Eduardo's body, yeah, definitely bi at least.

Eduardo gives Sean the subtle nod; a little while later, Sean drags Eduardo to the relative privacy of the kitchen and hisses, "Find out his type, won't you? You know I'm bad at all that gay dude shit." Eduardo sighs and rolls his eyes, but he likes it when Sean owes him favours so he also nods, and hey, it turns out he's Mark's type - and, well, Mark's not hard on the eyes, so why not.

They fuck around for a few weeks, casual; but then it turns out that Eduardo's inadvertently moved into the house while he wasn't paying attention (there was a five day stretch where Mark was, like, all about Eduardo's ass, just obsessed with fucking it, and Eduardo knew he wanted to go bareback but they barely knew each other by that point, so he always made sure they were stocked up on condoms), and Eduardo shrugs and goes with it.

They have really good sex. Electric. It makes Eduardo hum. He sticks around for that even when Mark's two bffls glare lasers into his back and the house smells even worse than usual from body odour and marijuana smoke. Well, he also likes it the times he and Mark actually do talk, though it's never real conversations - more like one-liners and witty rejoinders that make them both laugh like kids. Mark's a funny guy. He's an asshole, too, but he's a funny asshole, and Eduardo's the king of not holding grudges.

And then, hey, what do you know: Sean's golden goose delivers in a major way and bam. Millionaire. And then billionaire.

Mark never kicks him out and Eduardo never leaves. Why mess with a good thing?

angsty minifill 3a/?

(Anonymous)

2011-06-11 10:24 am (UTC)

...

In a way, Chris almost wishes they'd just get married so Eduardo could be a trophy wife in name as well as deed, because marriages also come with pre-nups, and getting Eduardo locked into an iron-clad one of those would make all of Chris' nightmares so much calmer.

It's not that he hates the guy, okay. Chris and Dustin have actually had earnest, half-drunken conversations about this. Eduardo is actually kind of, well. He's pretty cool. He's charming and he makes Mark look good at events like charity galas; he knows everyone's names, their wives and kids and great-aunts and childhood pets - he has a weird, freakish memory for interpersonal details. He's good at being a society wife, and he makes Chris' job so much easier PR-wise because of all the goodwill he manages to generate with shareholders and rival sites and affiliated companies. He offsets Mark's blunt and caustic effect.

If it were just about Facebook, Chris would be thrilled to have someone as smooth as Eduardo around to keep the public image of their CEO in check.

But it's not just about Facebook; for Chris, and for Dustin, Mark comes first. He was their friend first and their roommate first and dammit, they want for him to actually have love in his life, like, real forever cry-when-you're-sad smile-when-you're-happy love. They want Mark to have someone who looks at him and sees him, not dollar signs.

Instead Mark has Eduardo, who unapologetically goes to Paris and New York and Milan fashion weeks with Mark's credit cards and comes back with full designer lines; Eduardo, who blinks at Chris' suggestion that maybe Mark should meet his family since they've been together for a few years now and then laughs, like Chris told some kind of joke; Eduardo, who takes private yoga lessons and whose ass frankly looks amazing like, all the time, but who seemingly has no actual job -

It's just depressing for them, Chris and Dustin agree. Depressing that Mark, who is, admittedly, difficult, but also a freaking genius, has for a partner someone more concerned with how he looks in this season's Dolce and Gabbana than with how many seats the Democrats have lost to the Republicans the last election.

...

Eduardo realized he loved Mark fairly early on, but it wasn't really a surprise. Eduardo loves easily.

Eduardo realized he was in love, predictably, when they're having sex.

They're doing it in an armchair, this ugly leather thing that was Sean's housewarming present. Eduardo hates it. He's pretty sure Sean got it just to fuck with him. It's so fucking ugly. Mark looks at the chair after the delivery guys have it set up in their living room, and then looks at Eduardo, and then smirks.

"You really just want to burn it right now, don't you?" Mark says.

"So much," Eduardo says, fervent. His eyes flutter in annoyance. Then sharpen. "This is the plan," he says. "We're going to fuck in it. A lot. Then when Sean comes over to gloat, he'll inevitably sit in it, and then I will tell him how we christened it."

"You guys have a twisted friendship," Mark says. But he doesn't say no.


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angsty minifill 4a/?

(Anonymous)

2011-06-11 09:24 pm (UTC)

ahaha thanks for all the comments guys! now, fic:

They don't do families. For one thing Wardo doesn't really have one. Well, he does, but his mom's dead and his dad's estranged. Wardo has weird Portuguese words for his parents, solid vowels that sort of roll off of Wardo's tongue; when Wardo speaks Portuguese, it is kind of a revelation, the hotness scale. Mark has a family and he even talks to its members semi-regularly, but he is fairly neurotic about not leaving Facebook even for a long weekend because as soon as he does this he just knows it is going to get hacked and crash and all of his life's work will be ruined.

Anyway, Mark's family knows about Wardo, but they have never met or talked to him and they always sound vaguely disapproving when Mark mentions him during one of his phone calls home. This lasts until Mark's mother comes out to Palo Alto to visit ("Because if I left it to you to see you again, it would probably be at my funeral, Mark." No one guilt trips like a Jewish mother.), and Wardo squires her around San Francisco (because there is pretty much nothing to do in Palo Alto unless you are as good as surgically connected to a computer), and apparently they go dancing, or something, Mark doesn't even know, just when they get back that evening his mother looks about ten years younger and is flushed and laughing, and she calls Wardo sweetheart, and Wardo looks adorably sweetheart-like in return, like he hadn't just last night been on his back moaning Deeper, god, harder, ah, ahn, Mark, Mark.

It's a little weird, but whatever, it makes Mark's life easier. And a few months later when he actually has tickets home for Hanukkah but the site is getting hackattacked, he offers offhand to have the ticket transferred to another destination and put in Wardo's name so Wardo at least can go somewhere fun, and Wardo smiles and says sure, and then calls eight hours later from Mark's childhood home, saying, "Your mom invited me, Mark, it's only polite, don't worry, I remembered presents for your newest niece," which actually was the last thing Mark was worried about.

Wardo only stays out there for a few days, but it's long enough to make Mark go a little in-the-back-of-his-mind crazy and it's long enough for the rest of Mark's family to follow his mother's lead and fall for Wardo; he keeps getting texts from his youngest sister, like, Omg hawt and Sorry ur not gettin some while we steal ur boytoy and Wamp wamp. What does that last thing even mean?

Wardo flies back for the last few days of Hanukkah, and he's a little hesitant because he knows he's stepped over some lines, here, even if he was invited across them. But it's not like Mark has the time or energy to start over again with anyone else, so he just erases those lines and redraws them, demarcating new boundaries to this thing they have: and they kiss on the kitchen counter and against the living room wall and in bed, and Wardo says, "It was really nice, your home, your family, it was really-" something catching in his voice, something broken and soft, so Mark kisses him to make him hush up, and then kisses him some more, and they make out until they fall asleep and they wake up holding hands.

This is not to say Wardo never goes back to Miami, which is where he grew up, because he may be estranged from his father but, "I still have cousins, Mark, I do like to occasionally see them."

All of Wardo's cousins are on Facebook, and three of them are avid, obsessive users, so Mark tracks Wardo's visits home through them. Wardo is incredibly lazy when it comes to Facebook. Or maybe he just likes his privacy, but that is a vanishing trait in today's younger population, so Mark doubts. It's not that Mark thinks Wardo is going to sleep around on him - for one thing, they've never said they're exclusive; for another, Wardo actually never looks at anyone other than Mark, it is kind of endearing - but he has exes in Miami. If Mark were Wardo's ex he would want to tap that again, if he had the chance. It's not Wardo Mark doesn't trust; it's everyone else.


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angsty minifill 5a/?

(Anonymous)

2011-06-12 06:38 pm (UTC)

i am glad you guys are enjoying this! ty for comments <3 and now fic:

Eh, love. Mark's not so into love. This isn't something Chris gets, something Dustin does, and something that amuses both Wardo and Sean. Frequent sex tricks your brain into feeling like it's in love with all the hormones and endorphins and neurotransmitters running around on crack, all muttering to your lizard hindbrain, don't let this one go he gives me orgasms.

So, sure, Mark loves Wardo; Wardo's easy to love. Probably even without the orgasms - on a purely physical basis, he is kind of adorable and hot all at once, Mark's mom was not wrong to call him sweetheart. And he's nice, too, and he doesn't fault Mark for not also being nice, and at public events he makes sure Mark doesn't embarrass himself or Facebook or his mom, and later at home he acts like this is no big deal, just some little thing he was glad to do for Mark.

Mark's not in love, because he doesn't do that sort of thing, but he genuinely cares for Wardo, which is actually not all that important. That Mark trusts Wardo is.

Mark trusts Wardo because Wardo tells him how he and Sean met.

Back, way back, around the time maybe that Sean was getting Peter Thiel to be their angel investor, when Sean was maybe Mark's favourite person ever, Wardo took him aside and quietly said, "I first met Sean when I was bailing him out of jail." It was a long story, involving one of Wardo's more delinquent cousins and a car that was full of illegal drugs. "He's a... he can do what he says he can," Wardo said. "He can bring people in on this that you need. He knows what makes a thing cool, and how to keep it cool. He's a huge asset to you, Mark, but... He can be," stressing the possibility, not the certainty, "a liability. So you should be prepared."

Mark had nodded seriously and kissed him softly and left, to think things over. Wardo wouldn't speak against his best friend lightly (and they were best friends, for all that each made hilarious awful faces whenever they were referred to as such), and he wasn't wrong in that Sean was, while not vital, very important to Facebook's success.

So they began to phase Sean's role more to the background over the next few months, so that he was less Facebook's public face, which made it much easier to deal with the fallout when he was arrested for coke possession.

Mark trusts Wardo because he looked out for Facebook, and looked out for Mark, and also looked out for Sean. He didn't just toss Sean out in the trash; out in the cold. He made sure Mark knew how important Sean was and how Mark should really keep him on, but also be prepared to deal with the accompanying shitstorm that inevitably followed in Sean's footsteps. It was a difficult balancing act, but Wardo didn't let any of the pieces fall, and Mark has to respect that, and admire it, and trust it. Trust that even if he is not so awesome sometimes, Wardo will have his back, the way Wardo had Sean's. Only a real douchebag would sell out his best friend, Mark thinks; that kind of guy, Mark couldn't trust. He doesn't think anyone could.

...

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angsty minifill 6a/?

(Anonymous)

2011-06-13 08:50 am (UTC)

PLEASE READ THIS: so i have figured out enough of the plot to this thing that i know i am going to need to put in warnings. therefore the last comment on this comment string will be a warnings comment. i'll indicate this in the subject line, so if any readers prefer to go ahead without warnings, they can. also, thank you guys so much for all your incredible comments & support <3

...

The thing, though, is that it's not just Chris who goes a little weird after Wardo reunites with Thad. Mark does, too. He actually asks questions about, like, what Wardo went to school for, and what he thought of the East Coast, and which profs he liked and which libraries he hung out at, and if he'd ever thought about joining fraternities, and -

it's a little weird, and not even in the nice weird way that Mark usually is. Because Mark has a little scowly thing going on and he never looks happy when Wardo is telling all his best stories, like how he and Thad got dared to streak naked during finals week, or the neverending pub crawl he and his study group did before they disbanded for winter break, or how this one time he had to busk with a fellow stranded student to get enough money for bus fare, and she busted out with this amazing cover of Billie Jean while all he could manage was really half-assed pathetic break dance moves and they finally managed to catch a ride back to campus with this sketchy guy who Wardo was pretty sure was going to demand oral payment but instead gave them pamphlets about Jesus. After that one, Wardo trails off, because he's - he's trying really hard to smile, these are good memories, but he can't when Mark looks so miserable.

"Why'd you stop going, if you loved it so much?" Mark finally asks. "You're too smart to fail out. Was it the money? Because that's not a problem now, if you want, and Stanford's, it's, it's right next door-"

Wardo pauses. "Um, no," he says. He sighs. "The summer after my freshman year - you know, the summer before your freshman year was going to start - it was kind of messed up. A lot of things happened, really bad ones. Just." He remembers those things in flashes, quicksilver images and impressions of tastes, sounds, feelings, fear. Wardo's heart rate accelerates. "And really honest ones, too, I guess." A lot of brutal truths, that almost broke Wardo; that broke a lot of things about him, around him. "And when I honestly looked at why I was at Harvard, it just... wasn't something I wanted to do. Not with the rest of my life, for all of my life. It was always someone else's plan. I mean, I was good at it, but I didn't want it. Sean thinks," Wardo laughs, a little bitter, but also amused, because of course Sean fucking Parker had an opinion on this, "that I have a fear of both failure and of success. Yeah," he says, seeing Mark's wtf-face, "I don't know what he meant either. I think he was high on something when he was pontificating. But, anyway, I'd gone so long with someone else's plan that I didn't really have one of my own, and if I didn't know why I was going to college, I was probably taking up space that someone who did know needed." He shrugs. Links hands with Mark. "Being a university dropout isn't the end of the universe," he says. "You're doing pretty well for yourself. And anyway, if I ever figure out why I should be there, I can always go back."

Mark tilts his head and stares at Wardo, then smiles, kind of hesitant. "Okay," he says, and that's that, the subject's closed; though Mark still does go a little weird whenever Wardo hangs out with Thad and sometimes, now that they've been reacquainted, Lea.


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angsty minifill intersexylude 1/3

(Anonymous)

2011-06-14 07:10 am (UTC)

you guys thank you so much for all the comments, you are amaaaazing! here, have some porn while i work on part 7:



A few days after the weather channel related breakdown, when Wardo's fever has finally broken and he has slept the last of the joint aches away, he manages to convince Mark that he will be fine on his own for half a day while Mark goes in to work to check on everything. "Really, I'm not lying," Wardo insists. His eyes are clear for the first time that week. "If I feel like I'm about to suddenly relapse, I'll call you. Go. I know it's killing you to stay out of the office this long."

Mark is uncharacteristically anxious, but characteristically twitchy, glancing at Wardo and then the door, obviously torn. Wardo pushes him away. "Seriously," he says, "go." Mark goes.

Wardo is a little shaky, still, legs unsteady and weak as he stumbles around; he feels like Bambi taking his first steps. But the house is kind of gross and he also feels gross, and he just wants to get it and him clean, so he works slowly and takes frequent breaks and gradually all that's left is for him to take a shower and then nap.

It feels like the sickness is washing off of Wardo, sluicing off, as he stands beneath warm spray: face tilted up, eyes closed, mouth open to drink. He feels weak, but also good; healthy, cared-for.

He steps out of the shower, toweling off, and goes into the bedroom, where he stares at the mussed sheets and disheveled pillows. There are fresh linens in the closet, so he gets them out and strips the bed and then makes it back up again, fresh. The windows are open so there's a breeze coming in, cleaning out that lingering sick-smell.

Because Wardo isn't an idiot and is perfectly aware of the effect it has, he pulls on a pair of Mark's boxers (cotton, worn soft, faded blue) and one of Mark's older, over-sized hoodies (ragged sleeves and tearing hem, washed-out red), and then he curls up on the new-made bed and, both because he's tired and because he wants energy for when Mark comes home, sleeps.

It ends up just being a power nap because Mark comes home earlier than expected, comes up the stairs and into their room, sees Wardo in a loose sprawl wearing his clothes, fresh from the shower and sweet-smelling, sweet-smiling as he sleepily opens his eyes and looks up at Mark. "Hey," Wardo says, and Mark says back, "Hey," sitting on the edge of the bed. Wardo reaches up one long arm and curves it around Mark's neck, pulling Mark down.

It's an awkward angle, but a good kiss. Wardo suckles at Mark's lower lip, bites it gently, and skims it with his tongue. Mark opens his mouth into the kiss, and they deepen it, Mark sucking on Wardo's tongue and Wardo shamelessly moaning at the tease. When they break for air, Wardo sits up, skinny frame even smaller in Mark's hoodie, and moves so his thighs bracket Mark's lap. He's on his knees to get a good angle to kiss Mark, his ass just barely brushing Mark's lap as he bends his head. Wardo's arms sling around Mark's neck, over Mark's shoulder; and they make out.


angsty minifill 7a/?

(Anonymous)

2011-06-16 03:12 am (UTC)

i... don't actually know anything about what i am typing re. computers/programming/hacking/etc. so... yeah. if you do know stuff about that please don't be offended by my blatant making-up-of-details!

...

Just like they don't do families (except for Mark's mom, she slips under their radar), they don't do anniversaries, either. Mostly because neither of them seems to care but also because it's a muddled issue, when they count from; they started hooking up pretty much at the first meeting, which, celebrating that seems a little - skeevy? Or just not romantic. (Not that they do romance, romance is just a precursor to getting laid, and they manage that just fine without.)

They don't really do holidays, either. Hanukkah is coincidentally spent together, because Mark is, as aforementioned, paranoid about leaving Facebook and Wardo could go back to Miami and stay with his cousins and avoid his father, but just the thought of doing that makes him tired. They pretty much get invited to other people's Christmas/Hanukkah/holiday parties, and ignore the festivities otherwise. They already have sex like, all the time, so having sex during vacation days is just status quo, though on New Years they have drunken sloppy sex which is always fun.

They sort of do birthdays, but that's mostly because of outside influences. Chris always wants to go out to a big group dinner to celebrate Mark's birthday, or throw an office party, which actually is a little uncomfortable, because then Mark feels like he is ordering his programmers to celebrate him or something, which, even though he is the CEO(, bitch), seems over-the-top egocentric. Wardo seems to pick up on Mark's disquiet the first year, and after that he tones down the parties; acts as check and balance to Chris' attempts to simultaneously celebrate Mark's existence and create a positive PR buzz.

Birthday sex is pretty sweet, but, again, nothing special. It's not like Wardo suddenly says yes to some obscure sex act he has always before refused to perform, mostly because he's never refused anything, ever. Mark is maybe the least sexually frustrated person he knows. He is pretty fucking sexually sated. All the time.

They don't do anything for Wardo's birthday for the first few years because Mark doesn't know when it is. It's not his fault, Wardo never mentions it, and, what, Mark's supposed to ask?

It's not that Mark doesn't pay attention. He pays attention, okay, whenever he is not paying attention to Facebook, he is paying attention to a) his family, b) his friends, c) Sean - because he needs to know whether he should be worried about another coke bust or maybe that statutory rape charge they all know is just around the corner, jesus, d) Wardo. Facebook gets the majority of Mark's mental energy, but the others get their share, too.

So he knows things about Wardo that come from living with the guy for a few years (Wardo makes espresso the mornings he feels anxious about something, cappuccino when he is happy, latte when he doesn't feel like being awake), and taking care of him when he is sick (the weather channel), and fucking him regularly (the exact angle to hit his prostate); but they've never done the couple thing where they got to know one another, intellectually, before getting to know one another, biblically. They have never had all night talks where they are surprised when morning comes because it feels like only an hour has passed. They have never compared personal histories to see where they match up, where they diverge. They are pretty much a one night stand that morphed into um, around a thousand nights, actually, and counting.

Which, you know, works for them, neither one is complaining, even though Mark's friends give them weird looks and Sean thinks it's a pretty sweet deal, which should alarm them, having Sean's approval on anything.

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angsty minifill 8a/?

(Anonymous)

2011-06-17 03:13 pm (UTC)


They get home a little past one in the morning, with cupcakes. There's a surplus and Dustin makes them take all the extra; Mark is a not-so-secret sugar junkie so he doesn't complain, and they're Wardo's birthday cupcakes, so he doesn't complain either.

Mark eats one of the cupcakes while he watches Wardo shower. They're a little sweaty and gross from being outside all day, so even though they showered that morning, they both head straight for the bathroom when they get home. There's a little bench thing, usually set close to the tub. Mark drags it over. He sits down. Wardo gives him a quizzical look, but leaves the screen open, so Mark can see.

They are bad at taking showers together. It's like, so much foreplay, but then the actual sex is all chafing. Mark's maybe a little bitter about how raw his dick felt the last time they tried shower sex. And Wardo limped for days. Fucking water. It's the anti-lubricant.

Mark is maybe half-hard while watching Wardo shower. It's late and he's tired and part of him really, really wants to check in on Facebook. He was good at the party and only slipped away half a dozen times, but still. He hasn't had enough caffeine today to keep him going.

Wardo looks good under water though. Sexy-good but also art-good, like he belongs in a museum or something. Under glass. So no one could touch him. Except for Mark. Mark is good at touching him.

He makes Wardo come. Just by fucking him. Or sometimes Wardo jerks off, but he's staring at Mark while he does it, so it still counts as something Mark has done to make Wardo come. Or sometimes Wardo fingers himself until he comes, but he knows Mark is watching while he's doing it, which also counts as Mark helping him come. Or sometimes he thinks about Mark, and comes, and that counts, too.

That last thing is something Wardo told Mark about; he wouldn't know unless Wardo had told him; Mark can't read minds; he doesn't know if he wants to, because it would make things easier if he could, but it was probably also ugly to know the inside of everyone's head like that;

though that is kind of the function of Facebook, when he thinks about it;

except for Wardo's Facebook which is frustratingly empty all the time; Wardo's head isn't empty; it is full of elegant algorithms; Mark would maybe like to be inside Wardo's head; he can't imagine anything in there that he wouldn't like; he's been inside Wardo so many other ways; he wants all the ways; any possible way to be inside Wardo, Mark wants; but like Mark has said, he trusts Wardo; because Wardo is trustworthy;

so when Wardo says, When you're at work sometimes I feel so empty inside so I put my fingers in there and pretend it's you, you working me open, and you, fucking me;

and when he says, I like it when you come in me, when you have to go, I keep it all in me, Mark, all of it, I keep it in me, I hold it in me, so I'm not empty, so I'm full of you;

and when he says, I think about kissing you all the time, all the time, Mark, I'm always thinking about your mouth;

Mark believes him; believes that he's been inside Wardo's brain; he's in there still; in Wardo's mind; his thoughts; everywhere;

which, that is pretty, well, very intensely, and insanely, hot;

if you think about it;

which Mark has.


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angsty minifill 9a/?

(Anonymous)

2011-06-21 07:51 am (UTC)

you guuuuuuuuuys omg, your comments are SO AMAZING, thank you so much for them! ahhhh. so amazing, you don't even know.

this section fought me at first, which was why it took a little longer to come out, and then went a bit smoother as i went on. thank you agaaaaain for all the incredibly supportive and inspiring comments, omg. <3333 and now, fic:



Dustin jokes about how Mark isn't the Godfather, he's like, not connected to the Mob, even though he is a billionaire he can't actually have someone killed, he knows that, right? while Chris interrogates Sean, who is looking uncharacteristically frazzled. Sean is the one who called them over because, despite (or maybe because of) his frat-boy demeanor, he knows the first thing you do is get your PR guy on the case. No matter what that case may be.

Dustin is still trying to figure that out, and Mark is really not helping with the way he's glaring at his kitchen, and how he'd said only a handful of words when Dustin came in on Chris' coattails (what, Chris was his ride home from work, and when Sean called Chris during the ride home and Chris nearly had a panic attack at what little Sean managed to impart in that two minute conversation Dustin was entirely sure he did not want to miss this shitshow. Though at first he'd thought it would be entertaining, not vaguely horror-movie-like, not the look on Mark's face, like Mark is just waiting to murder someone -).

"Dustin," Mark says, cutting off Dustin's latest monologue. Mark's voice is very even. Very steady. "Go bother Hector. I need to think."

Dustin goes. Mark thinks.

Hector is in the living room, tidying up beer bottles and disposing of the last of the pot. He's youngish, or maybe just gives off that air; he and Sean ran in the same crowds, in LA. He doesn't look entirely healthy. Dustin knows Wardo thinks of him as a little brother, though, that Wardo's put Hector into rehab as often as Hector will go.

"Hey, man," Dustin says.

Hector nods hello. He keeps on cleaning up. He's a nervous cleaner. Very fidgety.

"So, what went down," Dustin asks.

Hector shrugs. "Vitor, man. He doesn't hold his liquor well, I guess. Or his weed. Or both. I don't know, he - he was screaming at Eduardo in the kitchen, stuff about Eduardo being a fag, I don't know. Slamming into the walls and shit. Fuck." Hector drops two empties and drags his palm across his face, down from his high and exhausted. And Dustin feels sick. This sounds like a gaybashing, what the fuck. "Eduardo, he," Hector shakes his head. The way he says Wardo's name, it's very soft, very rolled, with a Brazilian Portuguese intonation; it has no corners. Defenseless. "He was going bugfuck, screaming back. Trying to get loose. Vitor had him by the neck. Motherfucker." Hector makes like he wants to spit, then remembers he's inside, and chokes it back down. "We heard something was going down, me and Sean, so we went in and broke them up. Then Eduardo's boy came home and sent Vitor running. Then Sean called you guys to come and help with the clean up." Hector glances up, eyes weirdly sharp, the same colour but none of the warmth of Wardo's eyes. "That's all I know, man. That's what I saw."

"Okay," Dustin does a slow-nod. "Thanks, man. Don't worry. We'll handle it."

"Yeah, okay," Hector says, shrugging. There's something he isn't telling Dustin, but it doesn't feel like he's keeping back anything that happened today.

"Where is Wardo right now?" Dustin asks, since he's the only missing player.

Hector points upstairs. "He said he needed to brush his teeth. He threw up," Hector explains.

"Right," Dustin says. "I'm going to go check on him." He claps Hector on the shoulder, and goes.

...


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angsty minifill 10a/?

(Anonymous)

2011-06-23 06:16 pm (UTC)

um, you guys, thank you SO MUCH. your support has seriously been overwhelming. ilu all. gosh.



The bruises are a problem.

They're violently purple, edged with green and yellow; their centres are black. Wardo really does not want to go out with them so visible, but it doesn't matter what shirt he tries on: they still show. Wardo could wear a turtleneck, but he pulled one on and almost choked from the rising panic attack. He shouldn't be surprised; there's a reason he can't wear ties, and it's because having something around his neck is triggering for him.

Sean comes through at the last minute with enough makeup to pancake on and cover the bruises. The shade doesn't exactly match up with Wardo's skin tone, but he blends enough that it kind of works. Sean sits on the bathroom counter while Wardo smooths the coverup onto his neck and over his clavicles, peering at himself in the mirror.

"You're good at that," Sean comments. He's subdued. He doesn't think the trip is a good idea, but he hasn't said anything. Wardo just knows.

Wardo shrugs. "Yeah, I guess?" he says. His voice is still rough. He's been sucking on cough candies, because they're numbing, but he still can't talk above a certain volume, and he sounds hoarse when he does speak.

"Like, really good," Sean says. His voice is weird. "Have you done it before?"

"Not really," Wardo says. "I used to watch my mom put on her makeup, maybe that's where I picked it up."

"Oh," Sean says, subsiding. He fidgets a little. "So, um," he says, guiltily.

Wardo rolls his eyes. "Hector already told me, asshole," he croaks.

"Oh, thank god," Sean says, relieved.

Wardo makes a face at him in the mirror. "I like how it's taken you this long to 'fess up," he says.

"I like how you're not pissed off at me," Sean says, frankly.

Wardo shrugs. "I was a little," he admits. "But I got over it." He quirks his lips into a parody of a smile. "Just. For the sake of my sanity. Just pretend you don't know?"

Sean grins. "I can totally do that," he says. It's a lie, but he's good at lying, so it works as well as a truth. And this way they both get out of talking about it, so it's a win all around. Except, "But you know - if you want me to stop pretending. Or um. If you have to like. Work something out. I'm your bro, okay?"

Wardo rolls his eyes. But the thing on his face turns into a real smile. "Yeah, okay," Wardo says, and they bump fists.

Mark comes in as Wardo's finishing, and he stares blankly at Sean in a very creepy fashion until Sean leaves. Wardo stifles a laugh. He finds it amusing, how everyone sooner or later is disconcerted by Mark. "How does it look?" Wardo asks, tilting his jaw up and baring his throat.

Mark leans closer. Not so close that Wardo feels penned in. "Pretty good," Mark passes judgment. "How are you for pain meds?"

"Um," Wardo thinks back. "I can take more in an hour. But I'm okay." He washes off the makeup on his hands, and gives himself one last inspection in the mirror. It won't hold up to scrutiny, but hopefully no one will be looking that closely at him. "You finished packing?"

Mark nods. "We're good to go."

Wardo smiles at him, and heads out of the bathroom for the bedroom, going for Mark's side of the closet. It kills him a little to go out in something so casual, but it'll probably kill him more if he wears anything else because, dammit, by this point, Mark's hoodies are like, a comfort thing, and he's going to be tense enough on the flight. Mark sits on the bed and watches as Wardo pulls on one of his navy hoodies. His expression is unnaturally even.

"Hey," Wardo says, turning to him and smiling.

"Hey," Mark says back. He holds out his hand and Wardo goes over, takes it. He sits on the bed next to Mark. Mark shifts over a little, to make room.


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angsty fill 11a/?

(Anonymous)

2011-07-03 05:39 am (UTC)

it's... not really a minifill anymore, is it? i just did a word count and it was, um, bigger than i thought. but i title things once they're finished, so i guess you are all stuck with this as a working title. and sorry this took so long to updaaaate, i got sickish and then migrainey and then blocked. and now lj is being finicky, so this might take a little while to post; please bear with me.



There are enough apples for another pie, so Wardo teaches Mark how to bake one the next afternoon. 'Teaches'. Mark has his laptop with him open on the kitchen table, so it's debatable how much attention he's actually giving the lesson. Mark is practically radiating smug contentment; Wardo held his hand while he jerked off that morning. Apparently the whole week Mark's been horrible is down to blue balls, which - probably inappropriately - makes Wardo want to burst out laughing whenever he thinks too hard about it.

Mark's mom doesn't practice much anymore, but she does have a handful of longstanding patients who she believes would be harmed by shifting to another psychiatrist after having spent years developing rapport with her, and she's been in session with one of them for the last few hours. She'd smiled at them when they had come down earlier, before she left, rumpled and in each other's personal space.

Wardo makes Mark weave the pie crust. It comes out oddly even, factory-perfect. They watch Zoolander while the pie bakes. Mark wants to eat it warm out of the oven, so they do that, too, sitting in the living room watching the end of the movie. Outside it's raining. They put ice cream on the pie and it goes liquid, melting too fast. The heat in the house is cranked in deference to Wardo's Miami-raised sensibilities. His feet are still cold so he puts them under Mark's thighs, burrowing. Mark finishes his pie and puts his empty bowl on the coffee table. He circles Wardo's ankle and rubs the knob of bone, the jut and angle fitted against Mark's palm. The pad of his thumb traces the contours he finds.

"Cold," Wardo says, not complaining but plaintive. He takes Mark's hand and cups it between his two, close but not closed, and blows hot breath against it; his eyes are still on the television screen. It's less than minute when Wardo puts Mark's hand back on his ankle. "Better," he sighs.

Mark's hand feels strange. Tingly, almost, like blood has rushed to it, like it's newly alive. "I make good pie," he announces, to distract himself from that.

"You mean I make good pie," Wardo says.

"That too," Mark smirks.

Wardo huffs, but mostly with amusement.

After the movie ends, Mark wires in and Wardo watches the weather channel. When he looked at himself that morning he noticed the bruises were breaking up, mottled under his skin as they healed. He feels strange about it. He can still feel them. The grasp around him, the fingers fisting around his pulse, the choke. Once the bruises have gone away completely, if Wardo still, if the fingers are still, the hand, around his throat, if he closes his eyes and feels it still, he'll - go crazy.

India has wide-spread drought and, though there's a media blackout on this, China's earthquakes are picking up frequency. One, if not more, of the rural dams has probably broken, as none of them is engineered to take on that much repeated stress. Broken dams mess with at least one source of power, especially in factory-rich areas. China is probably going to increase its oil import to compensate for the loss of hydro. Wardo makes a mental note of that.

Lately he's been working on hurricane tracking, but the last few days he hasn't been paying as much attention as he should have and he's probably lost valuable data points. They're online, he knows, he can always backtrack and dig them out later. It's no big deal.


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angsty fill 12a/?

(Anonymous)

2011-07-06 03:57 pm (UTC)

thank you for the comments, guys, they are so encouraging. <333

...

At first, Mark honestly believes that the trip to Dobbs Ferry did what it was supposed to do, and made Wardo - better. Not that he's like. Broken. Or anything. But - Mark thought the trip made it so that Wardo's not so - hurt.

The first indication that it didn't work is at the house party Sean and Dustin team up to throw in a house not belonging to either of them, because they are in agreement that Mark and Wardo's new home bar is the coolest thing ever and they each want one immediately - which, Mark doesn't know why they don't just do that instead of co-opting his, it's not like neither of them isn't also a billionaire.

Thad shows up early and takes on the bartender role (apparently he bartended his way through Harvard and then when he went on a cross-country road trip after graduation, in between writing drafts of his first novel which has since been published and won a handful of literary awards, short-listed for more, and long-listed for pretty much everything it was eligible for; it gives Mark cognitive dissonance when he thinks about that together with how Thad has a propensity for saying "Brah," non-ironically, and also an Australian accent that only shows up when is drunk), and Wardo messes around in the new kitchen trying to figure out how to get it to function enough that they can feed all the people who are coming over. Mark doesn't know why they don't just get caterers, but apparently since they're celebrating the new bar and the new kitchen, they have to use both. Or something. Dustin-logic is not always comprehensible, even less so when it is mixed with Sean-logic.

A lot of the people who were at Wardo's birthday party (who are not cousins; those all went home, and good fucking riddance) start showing up. Thad's Lea joins him behind the bar - she's three months pregnant, so she can be trusted to stay sober and not spill copious amounts of alcohol everywhere. Chris arrives with Marj, who technically works in his department though apparently she is more like her own boss. Marj and Wardo are weirdly very good friends. A legion of Dustin's programmers also show up, pasty and ineptly socialized but very ready to get their party on. Sean, for once, does not bring for a date a girl of dubious maturity, but instead his latest protege, a kid so new to Silicon Valley that it almost hurts to look at him, he's so shiny-bright. They're around the same age, Mark and this kid, but - Mark feels so much more experienced. It makes him nostalgic the rest of the night as he watches Sean introduce George Kwan around, teaching him the rudiments of networking.

Wardo, frazzled in the kitchen, is throwing together platters of nachos and salsa and guacamole, and Dustin comes by and jokes about how that is technically still not using the kitchen since it is mostly just mixing things, not cooking them; Mark doesn't know why his attention is on them in that moment, but it is; he sees how Wardo's expression instantly crumples, then smooths out, then smiles; it is really fucking creepy; how fast it happens; that it happens at all; Wardo says, "Yeah, no, man, you're right. Um, I guess I could make like. Burgers? Or, um. If I make a quick grocery run, I could do chicken wings."

"Nah," Dustin laughs, clapping Wardo on the shoulder, "I'm just messing with you, these look great," and he grabs one of the platters and heads off to the bar.

Wardo shakes his at Dustin's back, still smiling.

Mark goes upstairs then, and into their bedroom, where he sits in the fugly armchair and thinks for a while. Chris calls it brooding when he does things like this, but it's not, he's really just being contemplative. Mostly while he sits there he wonders how many times he's seen Wardo smile, but not seen the instant before the smile: the fracture in Wardo's facade, the flinch.

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angsty fill 13a/?

(Anonymous)

2011-07-13 02:32 am (UTC)

agh, sorry this took a while to update, lj was being horrible again. is it just me having this problem? it feels like lj is being mean all over the place. anyway! thank you so much for comments and support! <3, you're all amazing, gosh. this chapter is pretty much all transition, but i hope you guys enjoy it anyway. i'll indicate when the last section is up, so until then, if posting this takes a while, just assume lj is cockblocking me and be patient please <333



Cullinan has this way of being quiet with intent, like he knows there's more to whatever Wardo is saying that hasn't yet been said. Cullinan also does this thing where all of his questions sound incredibly pointed, but, when Wardo thinks about them after his session, are actually open-ended - which means that a lot of the things Wardo ends up talking about that he inevitably also ends up saying, "Shut the fuck up," over, are things that Wardo brought up. This should all probably make Wardo think, oh, hey, Cullinan is good at this! But instead Wardo gets vaguely resentful and thinks, Dick.

It feels really good to be angry at Cullinan, actually, since they're not friends and if Wardo ever wanted to stop seeing him, it would be as easy as discontinuing the payments.

They still mostly talk just about sex. Which means they talk mostly about Mark, and a lot about how Wardo would really like to get back to penetrative sex sometime soon, even though he still cannot get hard (this is definitely a topic Wardo could never discuss with his old psychiatrist). "It's just," Wardo shrugs, helpless to really explain it, "I just miss it, you know? And I know Mark wants it again, but he won't, and it's really annoying, when we both want it."

"I thought that was your partner's issue with it," Cullinan says. "That he thinks you - or your body - don't want it."

Wardo rolls his eyes. "Oh, come on, like you're supposed to come every time you have sex," his voice perfectly conveying his disbelief with the concept. He moves in his seat, jittery. "I feel like the longer we go without it, the more distant we become. Like, it's no one's intention, and no one's fault, but it happens anyway the longer we don't have that kind of sex."

Cullinan looks at him, noncommittal. One of those waiting pauses. Wardo fights the urge, but can't resist it entirely: he goes on talking.

"He's treating me like a child, like I can't decide for myself what I want. I know I screwed up with the, the Viagra," Wardo still stutters over that word, "but I'm not actually that fragile, I do know what I want, and he won't listen to me."


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angsty fill 14a/?

(Anonymous)

2011-07-17 05:51 am (UTC)

The date is Dustin's idea, but the restaurant is Chris' recommendation.

It all comes about when Mark is in a better mood but still moody. It doesn't take a genius to realize whatever is going on with Wardo at home is fucking with Mark at work, and when Mark is fucked up he fucks everyone up with him; but after a few hellish months things get better and Dustin stops internally despairing every time the boss man comes through the front doors. After that, there are a string of days where Mark is a little scowl-y, but not too bad; and Dustin girds his loins to do his duty as a bff and say, "Hey, what's wrong?"

Mark gives him one of those blank stares and says, "Nothing's wrong. Why would you think something's wrong."

"Because of your face, Mark," Dustin says, solemn. "Because of your kicked puppy Charlie Brown face."

It takes a little more prodding before Dustin finally gets out of him that Mark feels like, guilty, or whatever, because he hasn't been giving Wardo orgasms ("Lalalala!" Dustin clapped his hands over his ears and started to sing loudly to drown out those words, though he will never be able to erase the memory of Mark saying them. This spectacle is what makes Chris brave/curious enough to chance entering Mark's office, too, so they have a mini-meeting going on in there about Mark's sex life, why is the universe so cruel).

"It's not intentional," Mark says, frowning. "Everything I've read about PTSD says it happens, and we're doing all the right things to get through it, but," he shrugs, sort of helplessly, so utterly out-of-place when made by Mark. "Right now our," he grimaces and makes a vague motion with one hand, presumably denoting sex life, "is very one-sided. Which feels. Wrong?"

In between winces at the thought of Mark and sex, Dustin and Chris trade an eloquent glance that mostly says, Mark is becoming a real boy, wow.

"So do something nice for him?" Chris suggests. "He, um. Likes suits? You could buy him a... suit?"

Dustin rolls his eyes. "He would have more fun if you bought him a satellite so he could get unfiltered data on hurricane patterns, actually." Wardo's shown Dustin some of his latest work on weather tracking, innovative and elegant, but he's complained about not having access to enough variables. When Mark looks way too intrigued by that idea, Dustin hurries with a, "But he would probably be happiest if you just gave him some time."

"I have been giving him time," Mark says, dead-pan. "And space. Both of those things."

"No," Dustin says, frustrated, "I mean, time with you. Just take him out on a date already, Zuckerberg."

Mark blinks, nonplussed. "A date," he repeats.

"Yeah," Dustin says. "You know, dinner, a movie. Whatever floats your guys' boat." He smiles encouragingly.

"I don't know where he likes to eat," Mark says.

Now Chris blinks. "Um," he says.

"We don't date," Mark explains. He tilts his head and considers some intangible thing, and then adds, "Ever. I think the last time we went out was to that gala thing for childhood leukemia."

"That was eight months ago," Dustin says, horrified. "And you spent pretty much the entire time at my table making me write code on napkins while you wrote on the tablecloth."

"And Eduardo had to fend off that old lecher from Microsoft all night," Chris adds, similarly appalled. "His smile was so frozen it looked like his face was going to crack."

"What?" Mark's eyes zoom in with scary laser focus. "What old lecher?"

Chris realizes he's made a tactical error, here: as soon as Mark has a name and a social security number, that VP's life is ruined, which, if that ever gets out, will be pretty fucking bad for Facebook's PR - so he deflects with a hasty, "Sushi!"

"Um," Dustin gives him a look that clearly states he doubts Chris' sanity.

"Eduardo likes sushi," Chris clarifies. "You should take him out to get sushi. That would be a good date. I know a great place downtown."

So that's how the date happens. Their first date.


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angsty fill 15a/?

(Anonymous)

2011-07-21 07:54 am (UTC)

oh my gosh, you guys, thank you for all the comments and love and support. i legit feel like this fic has made me into a crazy person (because it totally has); it's the longest thing i have ever written and i think it is actually giving me an anxiety disorder or something. ahaaaa i'm going to be so relieved when i can finally edit the fuck out of it, gosh. i am in a constant state of "i want to rewrite this/that scene" right now. anyway we're getting close to the end, probably like two or three more parts after this. nerve-wracking! let's hope i don't screw it up too much.




The thing is - family. Mark isn't so insulated that he's unaware of how deeply he's lucked out. Sure, growing up the only brother to three sisters got a little grating, but each of them is honestly a woman Mark isn't embarrassed to be related to, smart and funny and kind, and they love him, despite the screaming bitch-slap fights of yesteryear. His dad has always been cheerfully supportive of everything Mark has ever done or wanted to do: he's the one who argued for the private tutors when it became apparent that Mark's skill with programming was more than just an interest, and he's the one who worked extra hours to absorb that cost. Mark's mom has always been a steady listening ear and a source of unwavering advice, fiercely protective of Mark and his sisters but just as fiercely determined that they be strong enough not to need protecting.

Mark has always had enough; more than enough. Money, attention, education, love.

Even after years together, Mark still doesn't know much about Wardo's family - his past. He knows enough to infer ugly words like abuse and possibly neglect, but the fact is that anything Mark imagines is likely to be exponentially worse than the truth, because imagination is a bitch, while simultaneously falling short of the reality, because Mark has never been hurt that way; has never had a parent hurt him.

Rodrigo Saverin's lawyers call Facebook's HR, which connects them with Facebook's lawyers (which are legion, thanks to conflicts over privacy settings), where they commence in around half a day's worth of polite legal jargon before someone finally finds it relevant to alert Mark as to what's going on.

They don't want to come outright and say why it is that they're trying so hard to locate Wardo, but there are enough small key words riddled in their dialogue that Mark puts it together and says, "He's dead, isn't he," very flat, a jumble of emotions swelling in his chest.

Mark doesn't think about Wardo's father often, because when he does, he gets so angry it makes him feel invincible, and he teeters on the edge of doing something to the man that is likely inadvisable but will probably be highly satisfying. He knows Wardo's father is a businessman, or a business owner, or something similar; that he was Wardo's driving influence to pursue a joint Economics and Business degree; that he scarred Wardo, literally, put marks on Wardo that have faded but are still legible, when touched.

So Mark tells the lawyers, "We'll be in touch," and hangs up, then goes to sit in his office for a few minutes, lights off and head down, readying himself to do this, and then goes home.

Wardo is sitting in the living room, holding a vertical split that makes Mark actually wince when he sees it, because, ow. But also kind of. Um. Well. Wardo's also doing deep breathing exercises, long counts of inhalation and exhalation, and his expression is deeply calm when he glances up and sees Mark staring down at him.

"Hey," he greets, "You're home early."

"Yeah," Mark says. "Um, could you get up?" He fidgets, and adds, awkward, "I have something - there's something you should know."

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angsty fill 16a/?

(Anonymous)

2011-07-28 08:38 am (UTC)

lj is being really messed up :( here's hoping this actually posts, and that it doesn't stop working before i can get the whole post up. gosh. i've been trying to post for so longggg, ughhh. um and this is pretty much. a lot of porn. haaah. enjoy! i guess? *facepalm*





It's not as bad as it would have been in Miami, where his family could descend in force. Mostly it's Dustin, who drags Chris, and Sean, who brings beer and rum, and Thad, who comes with Lea's blessing, and even Hector, who is still angry with everyone else but not with Wardo. And Mark, of course.

No one makes Wardo talk about anything, which is nice.

Mostly they sit around and drink.

Wardo's father has been dead for five days, now. Wardo's known about it for three.

Thad is making fun of Chris' hookups in Harvard, because apparently Chris was a gay sex shark or something, notorious. Wardo snorts in laughter while Chris tries to drunkenly defend himself against the worst of Thad's accusations, but Dustin is not helping his case by his fervent head-nodding.

"Oh, man," Dustin says, "We used to get sexiled so often in Kirkland," and Chris flushes dark, dark.

It's hilarious. Wardo cannot stop laughing. Thad points at him, all, "You shouldn't be getting so much enjoyment out of this, Chris was just promiscuous, you dated psychotics," which of course devolves into a dissection of Wardo's dating history, which means Hector chimes in with Wardo's high school girlfriends and Wardo has to hide his face in shame. Looking back, yeah, most of them - well, crazy hot, and crazy smart, but also just plain crazy.

"Wait, wait," Dustin says, flailing his arms, "These are all girls," and Thad says, "Well, yeah, obviously," and Mark says, quiet up until now, "Why obviously," and Wardo says, thoughtless, "I only dated girls until after Mae died, it would have killed her if she knew I was a fag," and everyone goes quiet for an uncomfortable minute before Sean starts up Halo and challenges everyone to a marathon, because he has Wardo's back like that, even when Wardo's back (and his front and his head and his voice) is drunk.

Everyone else is playing but Wardo is sitting on the couch with Mark, petting Mark's chest idly and thumbing Mark's nipples through his shirt and then rubbing Mark's belly, because Wardo is a really handsy drunk, and also because he likes touching Mark. Wardo cuddles over until he's half in Mark's lap, and then closer, until he's sloppy with his limbs sprawled over Mark's limbs, drowsy with drink and warm, so warm.

Mark's hands are resting against the small of Wardo's back, rubbing circles against him, tiny swells of friction. Wardo nudges Mark's jaw with his closed eyes and Mark makes a noise, wordless, and kisses Wardo's forehead.

Wardo's father is dead. It might mean more if it could just seem real. It doesn't feel real. It's like an elemental part of Wardo's identity has lost its anchor. How can his father be dead?

"Shh," Mark mumbles, hand still steady against Wardo. He hasn't had as much to drink as everyone else but he has been drinking; not as drunk is still drunk. Wardo burrows closer, and closer, but never close enough.

From the floor Sean throws an empty beer can at them and tells them to stop being exhibitionists, the only one who can appreciate the show is passed out.

"'m not," Chris mumbles, and Dustin says, "I could be gay-curious, I could find this hot, you never know," and Thad says something in Aussie-speak that no one can decipher, and Hector makes a face, like, Ew, that's my cousin, and then Dustin says, "Wait, no, it's Mark, I couldn't find Mark hot, I have seen him when he hasn't slept for forty hours," and Mark throws the empty beer can back at them only he grabbed the wrong one, this one is still half full, and beer goes spraying everywhere.

Sean slow-claps and Mark calls him an asshole, and Hector says it takes one to know one, and everyone is making noise but the comfortable kind of noise, which means Wardo can sleep, so he does.

...

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angsty fill 17a/17

(Anonymous)

2011-08-01 02:25 pm (UTC)

last part! weiiiiiird. <333 thank you for comments, they got me this far.



Mark really hates that Wardo is so sad over his asshole father's death, that he is so sad for so long. Even an hour is too long to be sad over someone like that, and it gets frustrating for Mark to deal with it, Wardo's reddened eyes in the morning from when he's woken up crying and Mark has to pretend he didn't wake up too, since that's what Wardo seems to want.

One quiet afternoon in the living room, where Mark is working from home and Wardo is idly paying attention to some music thing on the television while less idly paging through another of Lea's discarded math textbooks, the frustration finally reaches snapping point.

It has a lot to do with how Wardo's foot is next to Mark's thigh, and Mark is absentmindedly rubbing the small bones in his ankles; and he brushes against the sole of Wardo's foot, and Wardo doesn't flinch; but Mark does, because he feels them, the scars. It's not that he's ever forgotten they're there, that they exist. But they're under his touch right now, and they're the realest thing he knows, and he fucking hates Wardo's father, he hates that asshole so fucking much.

Mark says, in a voice that wants to be a shout but comes out much quieter, "You need to stop being sad over the man who did this to you."

Wardo glances at him over the textbook's pages, brow furrowing.

Mark rubs the line of one scar, traces it from heel to toe.

"Mark," Wardo says, soft. "What - "

"The man who did this to you," Mark says, "I want to kill him. Just so you know." He knows the feel and look of old scars, and these are ancient. Time has worn them soft and they're pliable, not tough. But deep. Wardo must have been so young - "If he wasn't dead already, Wardo, just so you know, I'd do it."

Wardo pulls his foot away, but that's okay: he's gotten up, is moving closer, has set aside his book and carefully does the same for Mark's laptop, clears the space between them so he can lean in close. "You're shaking," he says. "I - you haven't been sleeping enough, I should have noticed. Come on, come here, let's go to bed."

It's too early to sleep, but Mark is tired; and anyway, wherever Wardo wants to take him, he'll go.

...

They sleep too early and wake too early, and in the strange pre-dawn gray light Mark rolls Wardo onto his back and lifts one of his legs, and Wardo thinks at first they're going to be having sex, but instead Mark takes a hold of his foot. He grips Wardo's foot by the heel, and stares intently at the sole, and it's still as horrible as it was last night, still hits Mark where he breathes.

Wardo stares up at him, sleepy and muzzy and confused. "Mark?"

He's so angry. Still, so angry, and he has no idea what to do about it.

Wardo pulls his foot away, wiggles around and wraps one leg around Mark's hip, urging Mark with his body to lie back down. So Mark does, and breathes steadily until the anger subsides, until it no longer chokes him.

"It's not what you think," Wardo says quietly, a weird note to his voice. Shame, Mark identifies, which is so wrong. "It was my fault. It - fuck." He drags his hand over his face.


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Re: angsty minifill 1/?

(Anonymous)

2011-11-13 11:22 pm (UTC)

<3

Re: angsty minifill 1/?

raincitygirl

2012-02-13 03:30 am (UTC)

It’s interesting that Mark doesn’t feel comfortable doing the cuddle thing, but he LIKES it when Wardo links their ankles. And actually thinks it feels intimate to have their ankles tangled up, and doesn’t think “intimate” like the word is a bad smell. Suggests that Mark is not as emotionally distant as he comes across, and he can actually enjoy intimacy provided it’s not conventional and couple-y enough to trigger his anxiety and anger about being terrible at the relationship thing. Suggests also that Mark likes to be good at things, if he’s not he’ll either explode emotionally or panic and run away. But wrap up the thing he’s not good at in something innocuous, and he can handle it. Stealth intimacy, like a ninja with the ankle cuddling.

I’m intensely curious as to what Wardo thinks about the ankle thing, though. Is it just a habit for him? Or is it his way of wanting intimacy without wanting to ask too much of Mark and ruin things? Wardo seems very good at not expecting more of Mark than he’s willing to give. I suspect it’s just because Wardo doesn’t expect much of ANYBODY, rather than Mark being somehow “special”, though. If he doesn’t raise his expectations, they can’t be dashed when the person he loves inevitably turns out to be totally indifferent to him. So he’s self-contained, and just sort of takes whatever he’s given without feeling entitled to more, and ticks me off because hello, human being, he’s allowed to want stuff! But I guess Wardo doesn’t think so, and Mark wouldn’t have wanted him in the first place if he’d started out all empowered, so they fit together like puzzle pieces. Both broken, but in complementary ways. And then they start to change, but also in complementary ways.

Re: Mark/Eduardo, AU, kept boy

restless_jedi

2011-06-29 03:19 pm (UTC)

I personally hope you or someone goes to the crack place too, because this would be wonderful. (though I am enjoying the current wip for the original prompt)

Re: Mark/Eduardo, AU, kept boy

lenamiriam

2011-07-02 01:15 pm (UTC)

I lovelovelovelove the current fill- and still hope someone will fill this as well! Because there can never be enough Eduardoisagolddiggerbutnotreally-fics. Angsty, cracky or whatever- I love them all.

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