?

Log in

No account? Create an account

The Social Network: the kink meme!

It's Complicated: But sexy!


Mark Zuckerberg
The Sarcastic Kitty oresteia wrote in tsn_kinkmeme
Previous Entry Share Next Entry
[PART NINE] & Some News
Okay, I'm a little new at this so sorry if I mess this up first go. Because it's been 5 months since the last round even though we haven't been busy. I figured I might as well earn my keep and try to get this place alive again...

THE SOCIAL NETWORK KINK MEME


ASK THE MODS * FAQ * DISCUSSION * RESEARCH * FILL LIST * PART ONE * PART ONE (OVERFLOW) * PART TWO * PART TWO (OVERFLOW) * PART THREE * PART THREE (OVERFLOW) * PART FOUR * PART FIVE * PART SIX * PART SEVEN * PART EIGHT


GENERAL RULES;

IMPORTANT: please DO NOT post prompts about any non-public people as part of a prompt. for example: randi zuckerberg is fine as she is a public figure both on the internet and on facebook itself. priscilla chan is NOT as she is not a public figure.

if you're in doubt, please message the mod or leave a comment in the discussion post.



♥ post requests and responses in the comments to this post.
♥ be respectful.
♥ both a pairing/character AND a prompt/kink must be posted.
♥ one pairing/prompt per comment please.
♥ you are encouraged to try and write a prompt for every request you make.
♥ we are slash, femslash, het, three-and-moresomes etc. friendly. (we are even incest friendly what with some of our characters being twins and all...)
♥ no pairing bashing, OK? no need to wank over ships.
♥ long and short fics welcome. multiple responses encouraged!
♥ please try to refrain from saying 'seconded!' as much as possible.
♥ on RPF: Please disclaim that it is RPF, a work of fiction and in no way related to the actual actors/persons/etc. (i wouldn't even try and discourage RPF from this meme ;))
♥ WARN FOR COMMON TRIGGERS, PLEASE




FORMAT OF PROMPTS:

♥ alphabetize pairings/threesomes/moresomes. (e.g. Eduardo/Mark/Sean etc.)
♥ put [RPF] before RPF prompts. (e.g. [RPF] Andrew/Jesse)
♥ for crossover prompts: "[Crossover], The Social Network Character(s)/Other Character(s), [Fandom]" (e.g. [Crossover], Eduardo/Columbus, [Zombieland])
♥ no "!" in pairings, only in descriptions. (e.g. Eduardo/Mark, FacebookCreator!Eduardo, CFO!Mark)
♥ anyone, everyone, no one? Use "Other." (e.g. Sean/Other)
♥ Please do not repost prompts from earlier rounds
♥ put [GEN] before GEN prompts.

FILLS:

♥ please don't embed. link to images/videos.
♥ no locked material. this includes communities, even if membership is open.
♥ fills can be posted anonymously or not.
♥ fills can be anything: fic, art, vid, fanmix, podfic, etc.
♥ all prompts are open to fills at all times, even if they have been filled in the past or are being currently filled by someone else. multiple fills are positively encouraged; if something appeals to you then do not be put off creating a new fill by the existence of a prior one.
NEW: ♥ PLEASE comment with the first of your fill to the PROMPT and then all future updates as a comment to the FIRST PART of the fill. this makes it easier for both the WIP spreadhseet and for archiving stuff on delicious. it also helps people who are trying to catch up on updates and don't have to look through every fill on the prompt (should it have more than one). thank you.





Hi, right now everyone is working on some changes so hold on new things are coming. In an effort to kick this place back into action, we're doing round 9. In a few days, we'll be setting up a fills post that hopefully will work directly for archiving and an overflow post. Also we'll be doing a friending meme at tsn_km_gather so be looking out for that. I know some of the other mods have plans of their own which will be coming soon.

If you have any questions or ideas that I can help you with, feel free to PM me. I'll be around.

Kitty





[ARCHIVING]
[DELICIOUS]
[UNFILLED REQUESTS]
[FILLED REQUESTS]
[FLAT VIEW]



have fun!

THERE WILL BE UNMARKED SPOILERS. enter at your own risk! :D

PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING;

i know you guys are enjoying this meme and i appreciate that but please can you put the SUBJECT HEADER on your prompt. you would REALLY be helping me out if you could do that. it just saves time for me when i'm trying to tag everything in delicious.

NEW RULE;

PLEASE TAKE NOTE OF THE 'FILL' RULES. THERE HAS BEEN A CHANGE. thank you.

AND PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT repost prompts from parts three, four, five, six, seven, or eight. the delicious is around for people to find prompts they may not have already seen. We know there's been some issues but we're working on it with pinboard. No duplicates from this round either. THANK YOU.
Tags:

Chris; eating disorder

(Anonymous)
It's difficult for Chris to be so goddamn perfect all the fucking time. How long until someone notices?




I'm having a bad time with my recovery, lately. I'm at the highest weight I've been in the last nine years, and it's hard to handle. I just need something to relate to. Please?

fucking perfect - 1/?

(Anonymous)
hello, everyone! so this is the fill. i want to say, beforehand - warnings for an eating disorder (in specific, bulimia) and the thoughts behind one with said disorder. possibly triggering, i'm not sure.

i hope this is adequate. (and i'm sorry if you were intending anorexia; i have no frame of reference for that and wouldn't know how to do it justice.)


Chris is out of control.

He doesn't know what to do and he's holding everyone together - fucking all of them, Mark and Dustin and Eduardo - and he's ready to snap, shaking with - with everything.

He eats too much, one night, and finds himself bent over the toilet, fingers down his throat (again).

I thought I was over this.

He looks down and feels only disgust and nausea, creeping up on him, and he's suddenly petrified that he's been heard, that someone's going to pad in, ask Are you okay? and he's going to have to lie like he did when he was younger, when he was in high school (when he didn't have this control, didn't have any of it, only had the constant stress pulling at him, eating at him).

He brushes his teeth, doesn't look at himself in the mirror, stares down at himself.

He's disgusted and he doesn't know why, doesn't want to see but can't look away.

(He knows what's going to happen, now.

It's the beginning of the end - the end of an ending, of a chapter that he'd thought he'd closed.)

He stares down and barely manages to look up, the briefest of glances, and he feels his stomach twist, churn upon itself.

He wants to get everything out, needs to maintain some modicum of control, now, needs to stop feeling so fucking helpless.

But he has nothing left to get rid of and so he runs a hand through his hair, runs his tongue over his teeth, manages to make it to his bed without falling over.

*

He can't sleep, that night.

He lies and he thinks and he wants to reach out, to tell someone about this, but he doesn't - can't.

It's almost comfortable, coming back to this, to what he knows so well. He learned, too young, how to do all of this, navigate it. He can avoid the questions, can avoid the constant worry that he knows will abound.

(He doesn't know if that's necessarily better.)

He doesn't want to feel helpless, and so - if this is what he needs to do, this is what he'll do.

He's disgusted but he can't fix it, can't fucking be expected to fix everything.

He can focus on them, on his friends, and worry about himself later.

(It isn't as though he matters.)

*

He wakes up to eggs cooking.

Eduardo's in the kitchen and Chris pads in, yawning, and he feels his stomach turn at the sight but he sits down as though nothing's wrong.

Eduardo sets a plate in front of him and he eats too much, far fucking too much, and he's disgusted, sick.

"Shower," he says, and he turns it on and throws up until he can't anymore, and his teeth are scraping against his fingers and he knows there'll be a mark, later.

After, he sits with his face pressed against the rim of the bowl, and he wants to cry, or heave, or something, but he can't move.

He didn't get rid of everything, can feel it bubbling beneath the surface - he's too big for his skin, for the world - has to be smaller, more compact, has to has to has to.

He finally manages to drag himself up, actually gets in the shower, feels like shit.

He can hear them laughing outside the bathroom and he's overwhelmed, entirely overwhelmed.

But this is his problem, not theirs, and - and so when he's through he wears a smile on his face and walks out.

He has to.

OP

(Anonymous)
This is fantastic so far. Thank you.

oh, chris. ;____;

fucking perfect - 2/?

(Anonymous)
He'd stop it if anyone noticed.

At least, that's what he tells himself.

(He swears that if anyone were to call him on his shit, on this, were to notice the fucking scars on his fingers, he'd stop.

Just like he did before.

Of course.)

He's happier, now, though. In a sense. He's more in control now, and he can smile and handle shit in a way that he couldn't, before.

*

It isn't as though--

He clenches his teeth.

He isn't pathetic. He's not an idiot. He just - sometimes, it gets to be too much, and all that he can do is make himself throw up, recapture the smallest sense of control over his life.

It isn't as though it's about his weight. He doesn't give a shit about that, not really, not as much as someone might think.

(At least, not on the surface. On the surface he's happy with his weight, but he can't deny the satisfaction he gets from watching everything come back up, knowing he might never weigh more than he does right now.)

*

He stops drinking.

Mark offers him a beer and he shakes his head, smiles, because he's in control of himself now and he's not giving up that control, doesn't know what he'd do if he started throwing up without intending to.

He shakes his head and Mark frowns at him but shrugs, taking it for himself.

Chris watches him, all of them, laughing and joking as though they have nothing to hide - and he's never been ashamed of it before but he feels it, hot and thick, rolling up inside of him, and he doesn't know what to do - can't tell them, terrified they'll find out on their own.

"I have to -" he says, and stands up, waiting a half-second, but no one says anything, barely acknowledges him.

He takes a shower, stands under the spray, closes his eyes. It's eleven at night but he needed to shower, to get away from it all.

He can hear them, laughing in the other room, and he clenches his jaw.

They're so fucking happy, all of them, and -

Why doesn't Chris get to be happy?

(The thought makes him feel sick. He isn't a child.

He's perfectly fucking happy.)

Re: fucking perfect - 2/?

(Anonymous)
OP here. I'm so glad to see this update. I have a modeling gig coming up, and it sounds stupid, but knowing this fic is here and that someone is willing to write it and make an anonymous connection with me eases the weight anxiety a little bit.

Re: fucking perfect - 2/?

(Anonymous)
i really liked this update! you're really good at portraying a character in a way that connects with the reader :)

fucking perfect - 3/?

(Anonymous)
i'm so sorry, i tried to write this for ages but i was in a not-good place and so am just updating it now. i'm sorry! more will come in the next couple of days, i promise.

/

Mark asks him to do things, for free.

Mark doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself.

But that’s okay – that’s perfectly fucking okay because Chris cares enough for the both of them. He cares enough for all of them, all of them without their issues clouding everything else, until that’s all he can see.

He should get help. On one level, he knows it’s not healthy, knows he should really talk to someone – one of them, if nothing else, just to get it out.

But it isn’t hurting anyone, but himself – and that’s okay, that’s fine, because Chris knows just how far he can push himself until he gets hurt, he knows just how much he can let go until he’s seriously in danger.

And if he gets hurt – well, who the fuck cares?

They don’t.

(He tries to tell himself that that’s not true. He tries to convince himself that he’s not alone, that if he asked he might get help, that they might hold him and not let him fall further than he has.

Or they’d leave – they wouldn’t understand, wouldn’t care, would leave him.

He’d rather have this, a farce of a friendship, than be absolutely and truly alone.

And so he hides.

He leans over toilets and he learns when he will and won’t attract suspicion; he learns that Eduardo’s more perceptive than the rest but not by much, and he learns that when Mark’s coding he could be in the fucking bathroom with him and not notice.

And it becomes a part of his life, all over again.

He has scrapes up the length of his middle finger but he doesn’t care, can’t make himself give a shit, because nobody notices and that’s the way that he likes it.

Eduardo, though – one day Chris doesn’t know he’s there and he’s trying to be quiet but not really succeeding, but he doesn’t care – there’s a video game going on outside the door and Dustin and Mark wouldn’t notice if the world ended – and he’s just had a shitty day, all right, and he needs to feel empty, open, raw.

He hears a soft knock and freezes, silent.

Eduardo speaks. “Chris?”

“Yeah?” he calls back, and his voice is cracked. He shuts his eyes, tight, wincing.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Uh – sure,” and he swallows, flushes and washes his hands, brushes his teeth quickly to get rid of any smell that might linger.

Eduardo’s eyes are wide when he opens the door and he grabs Chris’ arm, taking him into Chris’ bedroom, sitting him down.

“Are you okay?”

Chris nods, quick. “Of course I am.”

Eduardo tilts his head. “I don’t – please, don’t lie to me, Chris.”

He shuts his eyes.

“I want to help you.”

And Chris breaks.

OP

(Anonymous)
I'm SO GLAD that this is continuing!

Re: fucking perfect - 3/?

Oh man, this is so good.
Poor Chris though. It hurts just to read how lonely he feels.