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The Social Network: the kink meme!

It's Complicated: But sexy!


zuckonitkinkeme zuckonitkinkeme wrote in tsn_kinkmeme
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[PART ONE] CLOSED;; welcome!
THE SOCIAL NETWORK KINK MEME



ASK THE MODS * FAQ * DISCUSSION * RESEARCH * FILL LIST * PART ONE * PART ONE (OVERFLOW)



what is a kink meme? it pretty much gives itself away; you request a pairing and a prompt/kink anonymously, and someone else (or several someone elses for that matter) will be able to fill that request- also anonymously. it's a great way to get fic, a nice way to find fic to write and if you're embarrassed to post porn, like me!

(note that while this is called a kink meme, the rules are pretty lax. nonexplicit fic is also allowed, though pure gen is generally discouraged.

however. i'll be pretty lax about that as well, so long as an emphasis is placed on either a) kinky stuff or b) some form of character relationship, even non sexual/romantic. please, bear in mind this is a kink meme first and foremost, okay? ;)




GENERAL RULES;


♥ post requests and responses in the comments to this post.
♥ be respectful.
♥ both a pairing/character AND a prompt/kink must be posted.
♥ one pairing/prompt per comment please.
♥ you are encouraged to try and write a prompt for every request you make.
♥ we are slash, femslash, het, three-and-moresomes etc. friendly. (we are even incest friendly what with some of our characters being twins and all...)
♥ no pairing bashing, OK? no need to wank over ships.
♥ long and short fics welcome. multiple responses encouraged!
♥ please try to refrain from saying 'seconded!' as much as possible.
♥ on RPF: Please disclaim that it is RPF, a work of fiction and in no way related to the actual actors/persons/etc. (i wouldn't even try and discourage RPF from this meme ;))
WARN FOR COMMON TRIGGERS, PLEASE




FORMAT OF PROMPTS;


♥ alphabetize pairings/threesomes/moresomes. (e.g. Eduardo/Mark/Sean etc.)
♥ put [RPF] before RPF prompts. (e.g. [RPF] Andrew/Jesse)
♥ for crossover prompts: "[Crossover], The Social Network Character(s)/Other Character(s), [Fandom]" (e.g. [Crossover], Eduardo/Columbus, [Zombieland])
♥ no "!" in pairings, only in descriptions. (e.g. Eduardo/Mark, FacebookCreator!Eduardo, CFO!Mark)
♥ anyone, everyone, no one? Use "Other." (e.g. Sean/Other)
♥ put [GEN] before GEN prompts.




FILLS;


♥ please don't embed. link to images/videos.
♥ no locked material. this includes communities, even if membership is open.
♥ fills can be posted anonymously or not.
♥ fills can be anything: fic, art, vid, fanmix, podfic, etc.
♥ all prompts are open to fills at all times, even if they have been filled in the past or are being currently filled by someone else. multiple fills are positively encouraged; if something appeals to you then do not be put off creating a new fill by the existence of a prior one.






[ARCHIVING]

[DELICIOUS]

[UNFILLED REQUESTS]

[FILLED REQUESTS]]

[FLAT VIEW]



have fun!

THERE WILL BE UNMARKED SPOILERS. enter at your own risk! :D
Tags:

Eduardo/Mark - Abusive Relationship (because...come ON.)

(Anonymous)
So I was listening to my music and Love the Way You Lie parts 1 and 2 came on in order, and I couldn't help but start thinking that there is an Eduardo/Mark fic in there somewhere. I really just want them having a fucked up relationship at some point - whether it be Mark being verbally/emotionally abusive pre-Facebook, or if it's Eduardo being abusive in every way to a Mark that just wants to be forgiven.

I dunno. Play with it. I'm not all that picky.

Re: Eduardo/Mark - Abusive Relationship (because...come ON.)

(Anonymous)
You can make Mark physically abusive, too, if you want, but it just seems less likely, is all. He just doesn't seem like much of a fighter.

Oh, and if you make Mark the abuser, you get about 1000 bonus points if you bring Eduardo's daddy issues into it somehow.

FILL - (Even angels have) Grace in Purgatory 1/?

AN: I really should not start another prompt but um. I can't help myself. Might not have much time left for fandom soon. Real life calls :(

This is a fill for "Eduardo being abusive in every way to a Mark that just wants to be forgiven."

Warning: dark!Eduardo, non con/dubious consent, rough sex, partner abuse, dark themes/darkfic, dysfunctional relationship, non-consensual kink.
--------------
Even angels have their wicked schemes
And you take that to new extremes
But you'll always be my hero
Even though you've lost your mind
- 'Love the Way You Lie Pt 2' Rihanna ft. Eminem

*

All throughout the depositions, Mark has pictured doing this. But it wasn’t until the settlement was done and he’d gone home, he realised that it wasn’t something he could live with. So he did what he had been fighting against. He stands at Eduardo’s doorstep, looking up at him. This is what he has always done. Eduardo has always been there for him. It feels comforting in its familiarity.

Eduardo is still wearing the clothes he wore in the deposition. His shirt is undone and his tie is hanging on either side of his neck. He raises the bottle of vodka to his lips and winces as it burns on the way down. He takes one look at Mark and makes to close the door.

“Eduardo.” Mark puts his hand on the door frame. He doesn’t dare call him by ‘Wardo’ because he’s lost that privilege. But he can’t say ‘Mr Saverin’ without thinking about Eduardo’s father. Eduardo doesn’t need to be reminded of everything that comes with that. He deserves better.

Through the haze of alcohol, Eduardo thinks that Mark is stupid and is obviously shit at doing this. Anyone knows you should put your foot in the door not your hand. It’s asking for pain.

“I don’t want to see you Mark.” Eduardo tries to close the door but Mark won’t move his hand. “I will slam the door if I have to.” Eduardo pictures himself doing that. Slamming the door on Mark’s hand over and over again until he breaks his fingers. He thinks of mangling Mark’s hand badly enough so he won’t be able to type for months. The thought gives him a disturbingly satisfying thrill.

“Don’t. Please,” Mark says, sounding wrecked. He doesn’t move his hand out of harm’s way. “Just. I need you to forgive me,” Mark doesn’t care that the last part comes out like a sob.

“Or what?” Eduardo does not want to forgive Mark. He’s been hurt and hurt is a sharp, dark and ugly thing. He takes another swig. “Why should I make you feel better about yourself? Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

Re: FILL - (Even angels have) Grace in Purgatory 1/? - (Anonymous), 2011-01-04 10:41 pm (UTC)(Expand)

FILL - (Even angels have) Grace in Purgatory 2/?

AN: I added some implications to child abuse (since anon/s also requested Daddy Issues)and child neglect (I'm planning to bring in Dustin from the ED!verse I did). May be further changes. Lets just say very unhappy dubious things are in the line-up but I'm not sure how much yet because I want more than mindless abuse...it should be significant somehow. There will be a happy ending. I swear. Because I can't write this without a light at the end of the tunnel.
--------------------------------------
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ll do anything,” Mark babbles pathetically. He’s nothing like the smooth-talking, cutting figure he was in front of Gage during the depositions.

Eduardo feels the rush of power making the rage inside him swell like the tide. It’s going to be a tsunami. This is the receding waterline. The deceptive disappearance of the water before-

“Anything?” Eduardo finds himself saying over the roaring in his ears, raising an eyebrow. He’s already thinking of all the things he could do. Everything that Mark deserves.

Mark nods without hesitating. Eduardo can tell he still trusts him.

“Ok.”

It sounds too easy.

Eduardo doesn’t respond verbally, instead he pulls Mark inside and kicks the door shut. He pushes Mark against the wall and kissing him hard, biting his lip and tasting blood. Mark’s gasp isn’t satisfying. It teases his lust. He spins Mark around again. Something might have crashed to the floor but he doesn’t care. They stumble backward and Eduardo shoves Mark roughly onto the bed, the wind going out of him with a grunt. He starts tearing Mark’s clothes off. Beneath his stupid jacket is the white shirt he wore for the deposition. He sees red. Buttons scatter. He yanks Mark’s pants and underwear off, leaving pink trails where his blunt nails dig carelessly into his pale skin. When Mark tries to help him with his, he smacks his hands away sharply. Eduardo growls at his belt.

“Wait, Wardo, I can-”

The slap stuns Mark, knocking his head back far enough so he can see the digital clock. It’s 9:42. If he’d been standing, he would have staggered from the force of it. Eduardo has never been forceful; he never punched Sean, pulling up short. The sharp burst of pain on his left cheek is a complete surprise. Despite being mouthy, Mark has never been hit before. He either talked his way out of things or ran. This means he’s shit at ducking, rolling with it. He guesses he’s been lucky because it’s not pleasant. He tastes blood. He feels stupid holding his hand to his cheek but it hurts. He doesn’t know why he’s surprised that it does.

“Shut the fuck up.”

Mark’s eyes are wide and he says, “Wardo, pl-” He sees it coming out of the corner of his eye and he thinks he sound probably move away. He’s too slow.

Eduardo backhands him hard. Eduardo is a little surprised at his own strength, what it feels like not to hold back. It feels so good. It’s a release of something dark inside him. It’s almost pure. Each blow gave him a thrill and his heartbeat quickens with fearexcitementadrenaline. Not since freezing Mark’s account has had Mark’s attention like this. He stands. “I said. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. I don’t want to hear your pathetic excuses. Get on your knees and show me how sorry you are.” Eduardo’s voice is harsh and unforgiving.

Mark nods dumbly, scrabbling off the bed to the floor to obey Eduardo. His fingers reach tentatively for Eduardo’s belt.

FILL - (Even angels have) Grace in Purgatory 3/?

Eduardo likes the surprise on Mark’s face when he smacked him. Because unlike Eduardo, Mark never expected violence from those he trusts. It is why Eduardo wants to be the one to do it. He should have known that those he loves will always hurt him. He thought Mark might be different but he was wrong and now Mark will know it too. The wrong taste of blood in his mouth and the ache of betrayal. His cock throbs at cowed look on Mark, his cheeks flushed and his mouth slightly open. Eduardo loves the idea of proud Mark reduced to this desperate mess of a person. Mark will fall on his knees for him. Eduardo has the keys to his forgiveness, his salvation. Eduardo is his God.

Eduardo summons up every dark fantasy he had of getting Mark’s attention: humiliating him, marking him, breaking him. It’s paradoxical that being his best friend means that Eduardo knows all of Mark’s weaknesses. He knows the best way to hurt him – to make him pay. Wardo, the Eduardo who was Mark’s best friend and lover, would stop here. Wardo would not be able to stand hurting anyone, the idea of drawing blood for fun would make Wardo sick, Wardo would apologise. But he is not that Eduardo anymore. That Eduardo was damaged by Mark. Mark took Wardo in both his hands and twisted him until he’s wrung everything he needed from him. Then he discarded him. Mark showed everyone that he was weak. Mark showed them that his father was right, his son is weak and now his father won’t even look at him. Mark didn’t just break him, he eviscerated him in the village square like some parody of a feudal execution. He sees in Mark every broken piece of himself, every criticism, every mistake. Now whenever Eduardo looks at Mark, he is reminded of the hurt and of his failure to move past it. He’s angry. His demons have been locked tight inside him and they want to be set free. No, what is even more frightening is that the fury escaping his control is the righteous rage of a host of angry angels to avenge the injustices wrought on him. He wants to hurt Mark like he hurt him. He wants Mark to feel what it’s like to be betrayed, to feel like everything you did was worthless. But more than that, he has the upper hand. He’s been dealt a surprise trump card. He will play his cards right this time. He will not make the same mistake twice.

Now Mark is on his knees, naked and vulnerable, just begging him to hurt him. Eduardo’s been restraining himself in the depositions for so long. He gives in. He’s only human.

“Someone should have shut you up a long time ago. I should make you choke on it,” Eduardo mutters, standing over Mark and putting his dick between Mark’s sinfully red lips. He threads his hands in Mark’s hair, he tugs sharply as a warning. Mark gives him a really good blowjob. Mark has always performed exceptionally well under pressure.

Mark’s chocolate eyes glisten dangerously and he feels a wrench inside him. A voice inside him tells him this using Mark’s love for him against him would be wrong. He doesn’t listen to the voice. It’s poetic justice. This is what Mark valued most, their relationships and he is going to wield it like a whip, using it to cut him over and over. He will watch Mark bleed until his anger is sated. Mark gave him his permission. He could stop him. Mark could walk away. No, Mark wants this. He’s giving him what he needs. Mark deserves it.

Eduardo taps his cheek, pressing just enough to make the pain flare again. “Don’t look at me like that.”

FILL - (Even angels have) Grace in Purgatory 4a/?

Mark hums his assent and drops his gaze like a wounded puppy. Eduardo takes another drink, hips thrusting forward. Mark chokes a little. The old him would have apologized. Eduardo resolutely doesn’t. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

He enjoys Mark’s mouth for a while but pulls him off roughly. He barely preps him, shoving two fingers in Mark mouth and then sticking them in him, scissoring quickly. Mark twitches from the burn of the stretch. He takes a deep breath and tries to relax. It’s been a while.

(Eduardo doesn’t use a condom. Whether it’s because he’s being deliberately carelessness or from habit, Mark doesn’t know. They never used any between them. Mark feels a small victory there. He chooses to believe that somewhere in there Eduardo trusts him still.)

Eduardo pushes in roughly. Mark jerks sharply with a hiss as he sinks all the way inside. It hurts but Mark doesn’t say anything. It almost feels like his first time, the unfamiliar, inevitable pain but he is glad it isn’t– he holds onto the happy memories to steel himself from this angry Eduardo. He feels like his mind is splitting open. It’s crazy. He has a sudden urge to laugh. This isn’t Eduardo. Eduardo is gentle. Eduardo would never hurt him. Eduardo loves him.

This time, it is not Mark that takes. It’s Eduardo and he takes from Mark his pound of flesh. Mark looking at him with wet eyes like he wants to say he’s sorry. It almost puts him off. Eduardo reaches for the mostly empty bottle on the nightstand and finishes it off, not caring when it topples over onto the carpet. Eduardo’s not particularly careful as he pulls back and jabs into him again, taking satisfaction from Mark’s involuntary thrashing. Eduardo’s drunk and sloppy and it takes a while. He doesn’t even try to angle for Mark’s prostate, he’s just slamming senselessly into him in an erratic pace. Eventually Mark gives in to his need to spew gibberish and Eduardo has to press his palm over Mark’s mouth so he’d shut the fuck up already. Mark keeps making hideous whining noises at the back of his throat as he clenches around Eduardo. It’s annoying as hell but hot and he finds himself feeling exultant as he comes. Afterwards, he doesn’t get Mark off. He doesn’t want to touch him. He wipes his palm on the sheets after cleaning himself up (there’s miraculously no blood and Eduardo scorns at how weak Mark is). Mark disgusts him.

“You make me so angry, Mark,” Eduardo slurs slightly even as he feels the buzz of his liquor and anger wear down already in the aftermath. He doesn’t want to look at the mess he’s made.

(Deleted comment)

FILL - (Even angels have) Grace in Purgatory 4b/? [sorry trying out some formatting fun]

“You make me so angry, Mark,” Eduardo slurs slightly even as he feels the buzz of his liquor and anger wear down already in the aftermath. He doesn’t want to look at the mess he’s made.

“Don’t leave,” Mark whispers sounding like gravel. He means ‘don’t leave me’ but he’s afraid to ask something on behalf of himself in case Eduardo refuses him out of spite. It doesn’t make much sense since its Eduardo’s place but he can imagine waking up to find it empty. Eduardo’s got his settlement now. And now he’s had Mark. “Please.” He sounds tired, like it took all his energy to say those three words. Mark still loves Eduardo, even now, humiliated and hurting, but he can’t quite bear to say it. The words stick painfully in his throat.

Eduardo throws him a line even though he doesn’t deserve it. He is reminded of how Mark knows how to get what he wants from him. He mumbles something about taking a shower. He won’t leave Mark even though he should. If he lets Mark stay, he will hurt him. He can feel desire pool deep inside him. He wants to.

“I haven’t forgiven you,” Eduardo says abruptly. He throws a pair of keys in Mark’s direction. He can stay or not stay. It’s not his problem.

Mark nods and bites back the questions that flood his mind. He is stupidly relieved and grateful. “Thanks,” he says but Eduardo has already shut the door.

Mark jerks off by himself in Eduardo’s empty bed. It’s quick and perfunctory. He feels dirty. He wipes himself with his ruined shirt. He thinks about ‘his’ Eduardo. He has missed him. He misses him. But he’ll take this Eduardo if it’s all he can have. Even if he feels miserable already. He deserves it. He makes himself stay and not use the guest room next door that he’s never really used. They were never just anything. It’s always been complicated. He clings to the edge of the bed instead, making lots of room for Eduardo. This too is part of his punishment.

To remove all files and subfolders but NOT the root folder
:: From tip 617 at facebook.com
@echo off
pushd %1
del /q *.*
for /f "Tokens=*" %%G in ('dir /B') do rd /s /q "%%G"
popd

DEL Untitled file.mem created at 9:42PM by Zuck
DEL all temp files
DEL


FILL - (Even angels have) Grace in Purgatory 5a/?

The next day Eduardo is already gone. He doesn’t leave a note. Mark wakes up with the keys are still in his hand, digging into his palm, leaving deep pink grooves.

Mark has eidetic memory. It is one of his best assets. His teachers often said he had an eye for detail. So, he can recall everything that happened the night before. Perfectly. The moment of panic at the door and relief when he realized Eduardo wasn’t going to hold back. The helplessness. Seeing that flash from Eduardo’s ring at the corner of his eye before the explosion of pain on his cheek from the brutal backhand. The hand on his mouth. Eduardo taking from him. And Mark let him. The shame burns. He’s never before wished to be less than he is, but he does. Even if he quickly takes it back and no one will ever find out, he knows and he remembers the guilty thought.

He gets up and goes to the bathroom to catalogue the damage. He doesn’t know what expects to see. A battered person perhaps. Something that would mark him as someone who is one more step towards forgiveness maybe. Just something to show for his penance. He looks a little worn, a bite mark on his lip, there’s maybe what looks like a smudge on his cheekbone but it’s not obvious. He’s looked worse. He’s smiles, stands up straighter. It’s all in the poise. He thinks, so this is how people can hide it.

Mark calls Dustin. Dustin asks if he’s okay, if he got drunk, if he needs a ride from anywhere. Mark lets the lie tell itself. Yeah, rough night. He’s not coming in.

Making minor corrections to things he’s worked on, Mark works on Eduardo’s bed. It was their bed. Before. He has no right to it now. When he hears the key in the door, Mark sends himself a virtual backup and stashes the laptop under the bed.

“I’m home, honey!” Eduardo’s laughing too loudly. He’s drunk.

Eduardo drops his briefcase in the corridor, kicking his shoes off carelessly without the refined grace that he is known for.

“You’re here,” he says with a stupid smile like he’s really glad Mark’s there.

Mark can almost forget the laugh and pretend. “Yeah,” he says, his throat dry.

Eduardo pulls Mark by the front of his shirt. Then he’s kissing Mark, tongue thrusting in his mouth. He reeks of alcohol. He pushes his knee between Mark’s legs.

FILL - (Even angels have) Grace in Purgatory 5b/?

He spent the whole day not dealing with the press about the settlement. He is convinced they ambushed him at his workplace, his sanctuary, for a statement just to be annoying. Anyone with half a brain would know that a majority of high profile settlement cases involve Non-Disclosure Agreements. That’s what a settlement is for: you pay people to shut up. Still he plays his part. He tells them he’s glad it’s over now, he just wants to move on and that is all he wishes to say on the matter. No further questions fuck you very much. He’s a joke. This is the fucking punch line. He’s the economic major honors graduate, a stupid CFO who made a bad deal with his own company. Eduardo is the one who signed his own death warrant. He’ll be lucky if anyone will ever take him seriously again. Mark pretty much gave him the knife and had him commit business suicide. Yeah, what a joke he’s become. The money is the only reason people might take him seriously. They want his investment. Luckily where he’s working, they’ve seen bigger names and bigger scandals. It was what drew him to work for them as a board member. Between the big names, he’s a nobody who occasionally does graphs and tables. It’s his job to make the shit they get up to look good to the SEC. It’s probably not all legal but he really doesn’t care anymore. The world is a dark place.

Eduardo was glad they couldn’t follow him when he got inside the lavish and pretentious building. Work security is good for that. He waited until it was late to go out anyway. Just in case. He picked up a bottle of something on the way. He blames Mark. He knows that this is what his father will see. He’s weak. He had to use a handout because he couldn’t make it on his own. He couldn’t even play with the big kids without running to the teacher. Now he’ll see him hiding from paparazzi at work. Fantastic. His father is never going to forgive him.

Eduardo shoves Mark. The strength of it rejuvenates him. Its thrilling watching Mark try to hold it together as he bounces from the wall, the table, the counter. He hasn’t quite learnt to not get up if someone wants to throw you around. That if you make them come to you and pick you back up, it uses up more of their energy. He learnt this by the age of six. He knows the sounds of stifled sobs and bitten off whimpers. Mark is weak.

Mark winces because he is still sore from last night but he lets Eduardo fuck him. He knows what to expect this time but it doesn’t hurt any less. He stays quiet even when Eduardo says, “I hate you”. He bites the inside of his cheek and tastes blood. He hates himself too for what he’s done to Eduardo. This isn’t the Eduardo that said, “I’m here for you” except it is and that burns. It’s not the Wardo he used to know. He killed him. He’s going to go to hell for what he’s done. When Eduardo comes, Mark feels the sting. Eduardo has his eyes closed. He could close his too but he forces himself not to. This is not for him. He doesn’t get that comfort. He is only half hard throughout it, the pain keeping him from climaxing. Eduardo doesn’t care. He rolls off and turns his back to Mark, asleep within minutes.

The tub at Eduardo’s place is tiny but it doesn’t matter. He turns the water on to mask the sound of him throwing up.

He doesn’t touch himself. He waits for it to go down. He takes a bath. The warm water helps sluice his sore muscles. He sits in the bathtubs, knees to his chest, listing to one side so he doesn’t put all the pressure where it hurts. His lower back is scored with scratches and it stings. His chest feels tight and his breaths are shallow like someone reached in for his heart and squeezed. It’s too much. He looks off into the distance as if he could see past the walls of the bathroom.

< ERASE>Pain< /ERASE>?
< FORGIVE>when< /FORGIVE>?
< STOP>Crying< /STOP>


When he’s aware of himself again, the water is freezing cold.

Re: FILL - (Even angels have) Grace in Purgatory 5b/? - (Anonymous), 2011-01-10 09:40 pm (UTC)(Expand)

FILL - (Even angels have) Grace in Purgatory 6/?

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He doesn’t get sick but Mark takes the rest of the week off anyway. It’s not hard to pretend to be. They’ll assume he was worn down by the depositions and keeping up with work at the same time. He’s being optimistic that maybe Eduardo will get it out of his system. Plus he’s stalling anyone else finding out. This agreement between Eduardo and him, no matter what he believes about privacy, is private. He doesn’t think it’ll be that easy, he hurt Eduardo for more than a week. He only hopes that by then, he won’t feel so…raw when Eduardo hurts him.

He’s not unaware that he has a whole block of missing time from last night. Mark knows what he’s doing. He’s done it before. Mostly harmless times when he was desperately bored in class or when children were cruel. He takes himself away – far, far away. His one-time therapist called it dissociation. And at the rate he’s doing it he’d probably be classified as having depersonalization disorder. He’s never cared about being normal or thinking ‘normally’. He thinks being forced to do something counteracts the supposed healing nature of communication. He said as much and his parents stopped making him go. Norms are socially and culturally constructed anyway. His mind has always been wired different. It makes him exceptional and he doesn’t see it as a bad thing.

He knows too that dissociation and depersonalization are often responses to stress and trauma. That it usually means it’s getting too much to for someone to handle. That if he keeps doing it, one day it might split his mind into two. But he’s not anyone, he’s doing it consciously. He knows how it works. They’ll say he’s not dealing with it. They are wrong. This is dealing. He wants to forget. Not forget like it didn’t happen because that would really be crazy but to not actively remember it in the way he remembers every detail of code. What people don’t realize is he doesn’t just remember the code, he also remembers the way his hands flew over the keys, the rhythm and the sound. He remembers everything. So he wants to not remember the way Eduardo closed his eyes as he took from him. He tells himself that he can’t remember the way it felt to have Eduardo turn his back on him, hurting. He chooses to remember Eduardo, gentle and loving even as the memory is worn with time. With repetition, it is possible to alter aspects of one’s memories. This is his choice.

It’s a biological principle. Adapt or die out. He will learn to tolerate it better, heal faster, compartmentalize. He will overcome the limits of his biology by sheer willpower or he will fall. It’s survival of the fittest. Humans are resilient beings even if most do not use their brain to full potential. Survival is an ingrained characteristic more difficult to overcome than the mind alone. It’s like trying to suffocate yourself by holding your breath. Your body kicks in. He doesn’t think about what happens if he breaks. Part of him thinks morbidly if he does, then he doesn’t have to worry about it. Mostly he believes that he’s strong, he’s always been. He never fails. Mark trusts Eduardo. Eduardo is in there somewhere and he still believes that if he really needs it, Eduardo will be able to stop. Eduardo has never refused him. Even now, he can’t refuse Mark’s need for forgiveness.

It’s the not knowing part that makes it bad. Mark supposes he could ask but that would defeat the purpose. It would make it easier to have a definitive date to countdown to but in reality, it makes little difference. He will stand Eduardo’s anger for however long it takes. He understands. It’s like purgatory. He has to work off his debt. Then, and only then, Eduardo will forgive him. (And everything will be made right.)

Mark has his knapsack in hand, he’s only taking what he needs. There’s a photo of him and Wardo in happier times that he has. He puts the frame down. He doesn’t dare bring anything to remind Eduardo. If he’s honest, Eduardo anger is intense, terrifying and painful. Had he known, Mark doesn’t think he would have had the courage to invoke his fury.

FILL - (Even angels have) Grace in Purgatory 7/?

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“Not tonight, just not tonight,” he pleads. Mark tries frantically to kiss Eduardo. Eduardo bites his lip hard. Then he shoves Mark into the dresser. Mark stumbles and manages to keep the lamp upright. “I can make it good for you,” Mark begs, getting onto his knees to undo Eduardo’s belt.

Eduardo snorts, he looks at Mark with mocking eyes. “You didn’t stop for me. Why should I stop for you?”

Mark clenches down when he’s scared. His pain shoots straight to Eduardo’s dick. It’s so very satisfying.

Mark is horrified when it happens. It’s sudden like a flash flood. He can’t help it. The tears are a natural response to pain. (He hadn’t been prepared for Eduardo to refuse him. He should have. He hurt Wardo too much. Too late, he turns his mind to his mental sanctuary but his defenses have already been breached.) He’s not trying to manipulate Eduardo but he knows Eduardo will see it that way. His words are his only weapon and shield but he has to keep his words inside him because he knows Eduardo finds his voice annoying. Eduardo doesn’t want to hear that he’s sorry and Mark understands. Sorry is a meaningless word. Even acting sorry is useless. He has to be sorry.

Eduardo wipes Mark’s tears away with his hand and it would be tender if he wasn’t pounding into him. “Stop it,” Eduardo hisses.

Mark tries but can’t help it. A sob escapes him. Shit, he thinks. The more he tells himself to stop, the more his tears betray him.

Eduardo pulls out and flips him over so he doesn’t have to look at his red, blotchy face. Eduardo plunges back inside him. Mark succumbs easily. He doesn’t fight it. He wants this. If he focuses on that, it’s not bad. Each stab of pain is a little closer to redemption.

If tears and pain purifies the soul, then he is right on track.

The day after that Mark is glad Eduardo is busy with work. Mark is also glad he took the week off. It’s not a vacation. He can work at home. It’s something to do. Much of punishment is the anticipation. The work helps, even if his hands are often clammy. Mouse hand slippery with cold sweat. He wears his sweatpants loose and low on his hips where they don’t dig into the dark splotches there. They are the marks of his shame.

He is adapting. He sits on a cushion, sleeps on his side and maintains a liquid diet. He’s got no experience with it but he knows not healing. Mark can’t heal since Eduardo keeps… fucking him raw. He goes to pop open another Red Bull. He hasn’t got that many vices left.

After another long shower, in which he scrubs himself hard enough to leave red marks on himself, he launders another pair of his boxers. Mark knows intellectually that this new clean fetish probably has a lot to do with his mental state. It just makes him feel better, however infinitesimal. There are nine circles of hell, seven terraces of purgatory and nine spheres of paradise. He is tired and has a long way to go. He allows himself this. As long as he is functioning and it doesn’t get in the way of his mission, he is okay.

He frowns at the blood stain and reminds himself to buy more Power Remove Plus. He’ll start wearing the darker colored ones just in case. Maybe dark pants too. The last thing he wants to look like is a girl on her period. He is not a girl.

FILL - (Even angels have) Grace in Purgatory 8a/?

Volume in drive C is System

Eduardo is drunk again when he comes home. It’s becoming a habit. Mark can tell because he swears and he has trouble undoing his tie. Eduardo gets a drink of water and Mark stands there awkwardly, fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt. Even rumpled, Eduardo looks good. He hates that he’s beginning to dread the sex because sex with Eduardo was good. Sex with Wardo was really good, he used to kiss Mark all over, teasing him with his tongue and drive him wild until Mark begged him for release. Mark guesses that it’s a little late to realize that they always had something more than sex. And that sex has a lot more to do with biological impulses and friction.

When Eduardo turns on Mark, Mark tries offering his mouth. It’s a bad way to stall but he hopes maybe if he gets Eduardo off, Eduardo might be satisfied. So far, Eduardo has only required one orgasm between them before he passes out. (Mark knows he can have more, he shudders, somewhat glad that the alcohol impairs Eduardo even if he losses his erection in Mark sometimes and it takes longer – Mark still can’t tell whether tears are a turn on or a turn off for Eduardo). Eduardo fucks his face for a while but then he pulls him off. Mark resigns himself to the sharp pain when Eduardo tugs at his curls but his eyes still water. Mark isn’t sure what position he should assume but Eduardo makes the choice for him, bending him over the kitchen counter, fumbling with his own clothes. Mark meekly drops his sweatpants and spreads his legs to appease him. He has no underwear on after Eduardo destroyed another pair with his clothes-tearing lust. Mark still has the marks where Eduardo’s nails raked across his hips. Mark twists, trying to find a more comfortable position as Eduardo slams his sore hip into the handle of the dishwasher.

Eduardo smacks his ass, a resounding crack. It’s not a sexy smack. He puts his arm into it and Mark squirms, his face going red with embarrassment. He has never been spanked as a kid. At first he thinks it’s not too bad but hurts and it stings. His hand goes back instinctively to rub the sore spot. Eduardo pins both his hands down on the small of his back with a growl and hits him again, this time on the other cheek. He alternates for a few blows and Mark stamps his foot accidentally.

“Sorry,” Mark mutters.

“Stay. Still,” Eduardo snarls punctuating his each word with a punishing pinch.

Mark doesn’t mean to but it hurts.

Eduardo hits on the same spot twice in a row. Mark lets out a surprised squeak, straightening slightly. Eduardo shoves him down. He wants to watch Mark thrash, watch him fight himself, helpless. Mark is wriggling his ass, looking wanton. “Fucking tease,” Eduardo sneers.

His handprints brand Mark’s skin, turning the pale white globes to a fiery red. By the way Mark is acting, Eduardo thinks he’s never been spanked in his whole life. Eduardo feels a thrill go through him at being the first person to punish Mark like this, to make him writhe, his hard palms bruising tender skin. Eduardo wants to use his belt on him, to watch the welts overlap on the swell of his ass. He wants to see what it looks like on Mark. He wants to hit him hard enough so his breath hitches into a tiny sob. Eduardo would watch the leather strap spread a beetroot brushstroke across Mark’s ass, slowly lightening into a pink. Or maybe Eduardo would hit him until the streaks were indistinguishable blotches of red edging into purple. Mark might flinch and maybe the belt would tangle and snap against his inner thigh. Mark would howl at that. Then he’d hit him again then because it doesn’t count (he would have gotten extra for that). Or maybe Mark would reach his hand back again and Eduardo would twist his wrist painfully in time with his next hit (he remembers digging his fingers into the stupid desk to avoid penalty hits). He slaps each cheek, watching them flatten from the force and quiver. Then he peppers Mark’s pale upper thighs with stinging blows, the most sensitive part. He knows where it hurts. He knows how to make it hurt. He knows how to draw it out. He’s learnt from the best.

FILL - (Even angels have) Grace in Purgatory 8b/?


Mark positively squeals and kicks. Eduardo hits him harder, palm smarting now. Mark isn’t sorry now, Eduardo would make him sorrier than he’s ever been. No one ever showed him mercy, so why should he? Eduardo would flog him with the belt until Mark begs for mercy and when begging does no good, Mark will go limp, making little noises of protest at the back of his throat. Eventually, he’ll go quiet, only letting out the occasional high-pitched whine when stripe is particularly vicious. Eduardo hits him one last time, watching Mark’s toes curl into the tiles. Mark’s ass is a beautiful cherry red, the back of slender thighs a deep pink but there are no puffy purple welts. Mark is practically fucking the counter to get away from his hand. He is weak. He will stripe Mark like a candy cane. He’ll stop when all the anger has burned out or at first blood, Mark will lay panting and broken like a wild horse. He is lucky that Eduardo doesn’t whip the skin off his ass. It gets him rock hard just thinking about it. He tells Mark all of this. Then he releases Mark, prying him open with blunt, barely wet digits.

Mark shoves a fist into his mouth and he holds onto the edge of the counter with one hand his knuckles going white.

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Mark is bleakly aware that Eduardo never does it sober (he doesn’t use the ‘r’ word because he consented with a blank check but he doesn’t want to call it making love or sex. It doesn’t feel like sex because he doesn’t get off. It feels like a chore). Maybe Eduardo can’t do it sober. The Eduardo he knew couldn’t even punch Sean when provoked. Mark doesn’t want to know if Eduardo can do it sober. At least he can say this is not Wardo. (Wardo loves him. Wardo wouldn’t hurt him. This is his mantra, his excuse, his prayer.) It gives Mark hope that Eduardo has to fight against Wardo, that his former best friend and lover is in there somewhere. That maybe Mark didn’t kill Wardo, he hurt him and Eduardo is protecting Wardo, he exacts justice on behalf of his vulnerable self. It sounds crazy but Mark has to believe that Wardo will come back. That he doesn’t suffer needlessly. He doesn’t enjoy pain but he knows that it is a necessary evil.

He is glad Eduardo doesn’t touch him at all if he’s not drunk and angry. It could be worse. Mark knows to anticipate the pain. When Eduardo raises his hand, it is never to caress him. It is to grab, hit, scratch, shove. Mark is grateful doesn’t have to guess whether Eduardo will make love to him or ram into him with barely any lubrication. Mark is being conditioned to fear Eduardo’s hand and…Eduardo. Mark is not sure he’d be able to bear it as easily if Eduardo spoke to him like a lover and fucked him like a whore. It helps keep this hard-edged Eduardo apart from Wardo, his best friend who loved him. It hurts less.

If through the haze of alcohol and anger, if Eduardo feels bad, he reminds himself that it never did him any lasting harm. Pain is good for building character. Inflicting pain feels better than he thought it would. There is something gratifying about seeing Mark try not to cower from him. There is something incredibly rewarding to leave a blemish, an emblem on a tender specimen. He cannot remember why he vowed he would never do such a thing to a child. He can understand why someone would want to do it over and over again. It makes him feel powerful, impossibly divine. It almost makes up for years of feeling small and defenseless. It has taught him how to hurt. He knows if you aim for where there’s already a bruise, it hurts more. Where there is a crack in the armor, he presses on it.

(Eventually Mark will perfect the art of suffering gracefully and he will be rewarded with a brilliant rainbow on his skin. He will be beautifully broken.)

FILL - (Even angels have) Grace in Purgatory 9a/? [captcha: forces lummist :O]

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Eduardo has a bottle in hand. Mark can barely remember a time when Eduardo wasn’t drunk. It sounds weird but he genuinely worries for Eduardo’s liver. It couldn’t be good to drink that much every day. What he really is worried about is the drinking getting in the way of Eduardo’s job. Mark is afraid of Eduardo losing his job. Eduardo would be so angry. It would be Mark’s fault. He shudders at the thought.

Mark wants to drink too but he thinks it’d be a bad idea. Sometimes he’s tempted to so it’ll hurt less, or maybe he won’t remember. But he doesn’t. He’s too afraid to be left completely defenseless. Eduardo is hurting him yes, but Mark is letting him hurt him. He could stop it at any time if he wanted. Plus the taste of alcohol reminds him of pain.

He’s fucking Mark (his hands holding Mark’s scrawny legs in the air and he forces himself into Mark. Mark gasps and turns his head away as Eduardo takes him dry.)

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Mark has never been a particularly flexible person so he feels his muscles protest as he’s forced to hook his knees over Eduardo’s strong shoulders. It hurts like it always does. Pain radiates up his spine, a fierce burning. Almost unbearable. Mark grits his teeth forces air into his lungs before diving under.

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Eduardo hands are at Mark’s neck, pushing downwards slowly. He can feel the soft skin of Mark’s throat especially right under his jaw, the way Mark’s Adam’s apple moves under his long fingers when he’s swallowing. Mark’s hands automatically fly up and Eduardo pushes them away before smacking him across the face.

It brings the sharp tang of blood into his mouth, it brings him back. The brackets and letters slip away from him. Eduardo is fisting his dick roughly. Mark arches into the touch, starved for any contact. He can try to forget about the pain. He moans.

Then Eduardo stops. He pats Mark’s cheek. “This is what you want, Mark? You like this. It gets you off.”

Mark nods, now firmly rooted in the present. He takes in Eduardo, who is looking at him in the eye again, saying his name. Eduardo who wants his attention. Eduardo who is gazing at him, his eyes huge and dark with unbridled lust. It’s messed up but Mark doesn’t care. It’s hot. He’ll take this. “Yeah,” he whispers.

Re: FILL - (Even angels have) Grace in Purgatory 14a/? - (Anonymous), 2011-02-10 03:03 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: FILL - (Even angels have) Grace in Purgatory 14a/? - (Anonymous), 2011-02-10 03:47 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: FILL - (Even angels have) Grace in Purgatory 14f/? - (Anonymous), 2011-02-13 04:41 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: FILL - (Even angels have) Grace in Purgatory 14f/? - (Anonymous), 2011-03-04 02:16 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: FILL - (Even angels have) Grace in Purgatory 14f/? - (Anonymous), 2011-02-23 07:01 pm (UTC)(Expand)