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The Social Network: the kink meme!

It's Complicated: But sexy!

zuckonitkinkeme zuckonitkinkeme wrote in tsn_kinkmeme
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IMPORTANT: please DO NOT post prompts about any non-public people as part of a prompt. for example: randi zuckerberg is fine as she is a public figure both on the internet and on facebook itself. priscilla chan is NOT as she is not a public figure.

if you're in doubt, please message the mod or leave a comment in the discussion post.

♥ post requests and responses in the comments to this post.
♥ be respectful.
♥ both a pairing/character AND a prompt/kink must be posted.
♥ one pairing/prompt per comment please.
♥ you are encouraged to try and write a prompt for every request you make.
♥ we are slash, femslash, het, three-and-moresomes etc. friendly. (we are even incest friendly what with some of our characters being twins and all...)
♥ no pairing bashing, OK? no need to wank over ships.
♥ long and short fics welcome. multiple responses encouraged!
♥ please try to refrain from saying 'seconded!' as much as possible.
♥ on RPF: Please disclaim that it is RPF, a work of fiction and in no way related to the actual actors/persons/etc. (i wouldn't even try and discourage RPF from this meme ;))

rules for prompt formatting & fillsCollapse )






have fun!

THERE WILL BE UNMARKED SPOILERS. enter at your own risk! :D


i know you guys are enjoying this meme and i appreciate that but please can you put the SUBJECT HEADER on your prompt. you would REALLY be helping me out if you could do that. it just saves time for me when i'm trying to tag everything in delicious.

AND PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT repost prompts from parts one, two or three over here again. the delicious is around for people to find prompts they may not have already seen.

[RPF] Andrew/Jesse

Jesse is having difficulty remembering his lines, and he's getting frustrated about it, so Andrew decides to help. With every line of dialogue that Jesse remembers, Andrew removes an article of clothing. Cue Jesse being totally flustered and adorable, but SOMEHOW managing to actually remember the lines because of this new incentive. Andrew's also kind of doing a strip tease as it's all happening (so it would be awesome if the scene Jesse's trying to remember is really angsty...so Jess has to work harder at keeping his emotions in place). The rest is up to the author...just at the end, SEXY TIMES ARE HAD :D

FILL (1/4)

it just had to be done okay
please forgive me D:

“Mr. Zuckerberg, do I have your full attention?”

Okay. It’s fine. He’s fine. No problem.

“No.” He keeps his expression blank, his eyes dead, even as he fiddles with the pen between his fingers, flicking it back and forth underneath the table, his movements growing increasingly frantic because he knows exactly what’s going to happen next.

“Do you think I deserve it?”

He whips his head back around to meet Selby’s cold stare, practically spitting out the next word. “What?” Now that he’s oriented in this direction he can see Fincher in his peripheral vision, and Jesse knows just from a glimpse that he’s not happy. Shit.

He’s not focusing on the scene unfolding before him, but luckily (unluckily, he can’t help but think) they’ve been through it so many times he knows when to cut in with his next line. “I had to swear an oath before we began this deposition, and I don’t want to perjure myself, so I have a legal obligation to say no.” His delivery on that one was actually semi-decent, and Fincher looks a little more satisfied, like he thinks maybe this time Jesse can do it.

But oh no, oh God, here comes that one, that paragraph, that stupid, stupid part he hasn’t gotten right in sixteen fucking takes, and the whole room’s watching and Selby’s done talking and it’s utter silence and he has no choice but to try.

“I th—” And he literally can’t get any further than that, just sits there gulping for a good three and a half seconds until somebody shouts, “Cut!” and finally, mercifully, “Okay, break for lunch. All of you be back here by two-thirty.”

One of the cameramen throws him a water bottle. Jesse takes a sip and sort of wants to throw up, so he closes his eyes and pushes his forehead into the table and tries hard to make it go away because if there’s anything worse than screwing up seventeen times in a row, it’s screwing up seventeen times in a row and then getting sick all over everything.

The worst part would be that it’s happened before, that time with the garlic anti-depressant right before he had to run through the snow. Jesse winces into the wood at the memory and suddenly feels a hand on his shoulder, despite the fact that the set is now devoid of everyone except his nauseated self.

“How’s it going?” comes Andrew’s voice, and damned if it doesn’t bring his mood up the tiniest, most microscopic bit.

Lifting his head, he answers the question with another question. “Why is my life comprised of mistakes a sensible third-grader could avoid?”

Andrew, bless him, laughs. “You are being entirely too hard on yourself.”

“Oh yeah?” Jesse laughs too, but there’s a bitter edge to it. “How much of the last hour have you been here for? I haven’t been able to get through this scene one single solitary time. And it’s no one else messing up, Andrew, just me, I just keep—“ he swallows, tries to regain his composure, fails. “Fuck. I just can’t do anything right now,” and angrily grabs the script off the floor and hurls it across the room.

Tears prick at his eyes, frustration intermingling with embarrassment and genuine misery; in one swift movement, Andrew pulls Jesse up and against his chest, arms encircling him.

And, well, Jesse can’t help but relax. Andrew feels so familiar, from the hollow at the base of his throat to his hand on the small of Jesse’s back. It’s been there so many times before, and yet Jesse always breathes easier when Andrew is touching him, touching him anywhere, making him feel worthy and happy and—sexy, even. Jesse unconsciously tightens his grip, even as his anger seeps away.

Finally Andrew touches his lips to Jesse’s forehead and runs his hands fleetingly down his sides. “What if I helped you with your lines?” he murmurs, the corners of his mouth turning up. Jesse knows that smile. It’s the smile Andrew gets when he has an idea, but it’s a wild card whether or not the idea is good. And Jesse’s not much for wild cards, even from his (usually) intelligent significant other.

FILL (2/4) - (Anonymous), 2011-04-11 09:40 am (UTC)(Expand)
FILL (3/4) - (Anonymous), 2011-04-11 09:41 am (UTC)(Expand)
FILL (4/4) - (Anonymous), 2011-04-11 09:42 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: FILL (4/4) - casey_sms, 2011-04-12 12:29 pm (UTC)(Expand)
OP - (Anonymous), 2011-04-20 11:10 am (UTC)(Expand)

Jesse/Simon Amstell

I JUST WANT THEM TALKING TO EACH OTHER. Maybe Andrew introduces them at a party or something and they are both just clever and awkward and neurotic as fuck and Andrew is like oh man this is eerie.


Tiny!fill Jesse/Simon Amstell

Jesse is always, without fail, uncomfortable at parties. His own bar mitzvah party was attended solely by family members and girls -- which should have been a sign, that right there-- and he doesn't like opening nights. Or wrap parties. Or awards parties. And what he loathes, the most of fucking all are after-parties. Or after, after-parties, where people wear sunglasses, inside, and he can smell drugs and there is never any food.

If there is food he stands by that.

The food table is not a weird place to lurk.

This party just has a couple bags of chips -- "crisps, Jess, crisps," Andrew said, when they were at the 24-hour Tesco's, buying the crisps-not-chips for the party-- and then smiling and saying, "Come on, babe, it'll be fun," and Jesse had frowned.

There were promises made to go to the National Maritime Museum and then check out the Meridian International Dateline, in Greenwich. No matter how much Jesse tried to convince him otherwise, with words and kisses both, Andrew insisted that they go to the party.

He has gone to get them more drinks from the kitchen, and Jesse is standing near a bookshelf clutching his empty glass. They are not really into ice in cocktails, here, in England, which is a shame because the ice gives you something else to do with your mouth, because you can chew it, or rattle it in your glass, and plus it provides hydration, which is important when you've been drinking, quite honestly, as well as getting enough calcium--

"JESSE EISENBERG!" he hears someone say, from behind him.

He turns around to see a person that looks eerily familiar, although he does not know why.

Is this someone he is supposed to know?

One of Andrew's friends he's already met?

Is it a relative?

It kind of looks like a picture of his mom's brother Bertie from the seventies.

"Hello," he says, cautiously, trying to place this person.

"This is fun, isn't it? Fun!" the other person says, looking around the room and flinging their arms out.

"I guess?" Jesse answers.

"It's a thing! Just like an adventure. We're being so spontaneous, am I right?"

"Wasn't this party planned?" he asks the flaily person. Where the hell is Andrew? Ah, he's been waylaid by friends of friends. He catches Jesse's eye and mouths sorry.

"Is that Andrew Garfield?" the person says, following the line of his eyes. "Are you here with Andrew Garfield? Andrew Garfield's lovely. He's the new Spiderman, did you know that? No, of course you did, sorry, sorry, that was stupid."

"No, it's fine. It's big news," Jesse says, looking at this other person who is bordering on uncanny.

"It is a big deal! He's going to be famous. You, you're famous. But you still do theater, right? Is that true, that you still act in plays? Because you started out in plays, right, with the acting? I tried to be in plays but I was pretty shit at it."

"Um, he stammers, wanting to ask who are you and why are you talking to me like we know one another?

Andrew extricates himself from the huddle of people and starts heading over in their direction.

"Hey, here you go," he says, handing Jesse another gin and tonic, for which he is immeasurably grateful. Andrew puts his hand on the stranger's shoulder and gives it a shake, "I see you've met Simon, Jesse?" and the other person, this Simon person says, "Yes. I mean, no -- I mean," and here he takes a deep breath, "sorry. Hello. My name is Simon Amstell."

They shake hands and then Andrew sidles over and puts his arm around Jesse. Simon's eyes dart back and forth between their faces, and then he clasps his hands together and says, "Well, this has been splendid. Jesse, nice to meet you. Andrew--"

"See you, Simon," Andrew nods.

Simon walks away, looking back twice.

"Who the hell was that?" Jesse says, "And how much longer do we have to stay here?"

Andrew puts his drink on the bookshelf and then back Jesse up against it, brushing his hands over his cheeks before leaning in to kiss him. When Andrew pulls away -- which he really, really does not want him to do -- his eyes are very dark and he says, "Finish your drink so we can get the fuck out of here."

He sips as fast as he can, feeling his neck go red as Andrew presses up against him.

They get a taxi back to the flat.

Re: Tiny!fill Jesse/Simon Amstell - ymorton, 2011-04-01 02:18 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: Tiny!fill Jesse/Simon Amstell - poose78, 2011-04-01 04:24 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: Tiny!fill Jesse/Simon Amstell - ymorton, 2011-04-01 06:14 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: Tiny!fill Jesse/Simon Amstell - poose78, 2011-04-01 06:16 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: Tiny!fill Jesse/Simon Amstell - ymorton, 2011-04-01 01:38 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: Tiny!fill Jesse/Simon Amstell - poose78, 2011-04-01 05:15 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: Tiny!fill Jesse/Simon Amstell - ymorton, 2011-04-02 10:36 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: Tiny!fill Jesse/Simon Amstell - poose78, 2011-04-01 04:48 am (UTC)(Expand)

Cameron/Mark, Mark/Tyler dub con

cameron is in a happy relationship with mark. one day his brother decides that he wants a piece of that ass too, so he waits until cam is out of town for a meeting and surprises mark in the middle of the night. he pretends to be cameron and fucks mark, who doesn't notice anything because it's dark and he's sleepy.
i want cameron to find out either because tyler brags about it in front of him, or because mark asks him why he came home for a few hours, only to fuck and leave in the morning. i don't really care whether mark finds out or not, i just want cameron's reaction to what his brother has done.

RPS Andrew/Jesse-- first time blowjob

Lol, obvious anon is obvious.

Would love to see this. Major bonus points for Andrew being super sweet and calling Jesse every pet name under the sun. Even more if Jesse is initially all shy and then gets SUPER into it. If he asks Andrew to cone on his face I will personally come bake you a cake.

Fill, 1/?, First Time For Everything

Okay, I'm filling this. I couldn't resist, please excuse how lame the title is. To anyone else who wants to take a crack at this, please do. You probably can do a better job than me.

There’s a first time for everything.

Jesse knows this. It’s obvious; everything that everyone does has to be done for the first time, just once. All the things regular people do. Driving a car, eating chocolate mousse, riding a roller coaster, going to the beach…

Giving your gorgeous boyfriend a blowjob.

Yes, there is a first time for that too. Jesse doesn’t remember the first time he ate chocolate mousse (he’s not too fond of chocolate, not really), but he has a feeling that he’ll remember this. This first time, it’s kind of a major one. He’s doing the thing his therapists (and almost everyone else who knows him) have been telling him to do since forever.

Don’t be so repressed. Let yourself go a little. Step outside your comfort zone.

That’s a lot scarier than it sounds.

The fact that it’s Andrew -- wonderful, sweet, considerate Andrew -- makes him feel a little less panicky. He knows that Jesse had never done this before, and he won’t be disappointed if Jesse screws it up. He won’t hold it against him. Andrew would never do that. He just isn’t that kind of person.

Jesse’s still nervous, so very nervous.

It’s just that… he just wants it to be good. He wants to make Andrew feel good, because everything Andrew does is drenched in selflessness. It’s like he doesn’t have a selfish bone in his body. He’s always so generous, even if it’s just little things. Like a fresh cup of tea on the nightstand when Jesse wakes up in the morning, or a heart drawn on a post-it note and tucked into the book he’s currently reading. It’s like all he does is think of ways to make Jesse feel warm and safe and overwhelmed with love.

In the evenings, when they go back to their bedroom together, Andrew’s even more selfless, if that’s possible. It’s almost like he worships Jesse, like he thinks he’s some exquisite creature that deserves to be given so much attention. There are times when he won’t even let Jesse touch him, where he just pins him down and does wonderful, sinful things to him with his mouth and his hands. There are nights where he doesn’t let himself get off at all, but he’ll make Jesse come over and over, until he’s dizzy and exhausted and trembling in Andrew’s arms.

It makes Jesse’s heart ache a little, because he feels like he doesn’t deserve it. How can he deserve someone like that? Someone as wonderful as Andrew.

He wants to make it up. He wants to be good enough.

But he’s never done this before.

To be continued...

OP \o/ - (Anonymous), 2011-04-03 04:47 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: OP \o/ - themovieguru, 2011-04-03 01:49 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: Fill, 3/?, First Time For Everything - (Anonymous), 2011-04-04 09:07 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: Fill, 4/5, First Time For Everything - (Anonymous), 2011-04-05 02:48 am (UTC)(Expand)
OP/Fill, 4/5, First Time For Everything - (Anonymous), 2011-04-05 07:35 pm (UTC)(Expand)


This is a tad specific.

Back in 2007, when filming The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, Heath and Andrew went to a bar and got drunk, and Heath advises Andrew about falling in love with co-stars: don't do it. So in late 2009, when they're filming TSN, Andrew listens to Heath's advice and tries his hardest not to fall in love with Jesse. Cue angst where Jesse loves him/is pining but Andrew takes Heath's advice to heart and refuses any/all of Jesse's advances. Then Jake Gyllenhaal makes a cameo, says he fell in love with Heath while filming Brokeback Mountain and admits it was the greatest thing that ever happened and Andrew shouldn't withhold himself from falling in love with Jesse. Happy ending.

Eduardo/Mark, pretend dating

Eduardo flies to California that summer for a different reason than to speak with Mark about ads. Someone has gotten hold of pictures of Mark and Eduardo from college and leaked them to the press who now think that there were feelings between the two and that they were in love and dating. (Pictures can just be standard cuddling, affection, soppy smiles, etc.)

Everyone freaks out because facebook is still growing and they don't know how this will look for PR. Turns out it starts to be a good thing. Sean encourages them to use it to their advantage and "come out" about their relationship. Both Mark and Eduardo are hesitant (because feelings and pining and being in love but too dumb to realize), but when Sean gives them an ultimatum ("Either you two pretend date or I'll pretend date one of you"), they're all for it.

I'd love if their feelings are discussed early on and they're actually happy and fluffy together (to the point that everyone is confused by Mark's utter bliss or wants Eduardo to stop going overboard with the PDAs). If there's angst, let it come from some bad media portrayal, some people not liking their relationship, etc.

TL;DR: Eduardo and Mark pretend to date for good facebook PR. No lawsuit (except the Winklevii), no M/E angst, they fall in love and date for real.

Eduardo/Mark, Mark/Other, kidfic

AU where when Mark was in high school he got a girl pregnant and she kept the child. Problem was, she wouldn't let Mark have anything to do with the baby unless he proved himself worthy, so Mark goes to Harvard and when he thinks of Facebook he thinks this might be the thing that can prove it. He will do anything to make the company successful so that he can be a father to his child.

Problem is he never actually explains this to Eduardo or anyone, really, and when he makes the decision to cut Eduardo out of the company for the sake of it's success, he doesn't get it and is incensed (as in the film).

Cut to a few years after the lawsuit and Wardo learns the truth and falls in love with daddy!Mark, who now has equal custody of his child.

Bonus points for Mark being the most awesome dad ever, and he and the child's mother being good friends eventually.

Sean/Eduardo, Mark/Eduardo

What if Eduardo likes Sean, from the beginning?
I mean from the frist time, when they met, each other. Spending many times with Sean, he felt that Sean is good person, more than what he thought. From Sean's position, he was pretended as being nice to Eduardo, because he is pretty and gorgeous and, hot. And Eduardo's being fallen more and more, without knowing anything about him.
Mark thought that was awesome(cuz, that man was whom he admired and he was glad that Eduardo also like same person, as he does.)
By the time passing with seeing these two, he must felt delicated and jealousy would be arouse. And he find out that Eduardo slept with Sean, then everything became more complicated.

...IDK, I just want to see more Sean/Eduardo.


Based on this image:


"E-mail me dirty pictures of you with my name in marker everywhere"

"I get crazy thinking about your eyes when you cry"

"I miss you all wrong"

Mark misses Wardo in his own way. Post-deposition, reconcillation please?


Eduardo/Mark - Cesar Milan "The Eduardo Whisperer"

So, Mark Zuckberg has a dog, a very adorable dog, that has a Facebook page that 86,000 people like. The dog is a PR godsend, frankly, and his page cracks me up.

WE NEED MORE FIC ABOUT THIS, PEOPLE. (inserted to the movie!verse, of course.)

Recently, they posted pictures of the Mark and the dog (Beast) visiting with Cesar Milan. (http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/album.php?fbid=206408582719336&id=202825023077692&aid=64300)

MY PROMPT: Mark and Eduardo are friends again. Casual-like friends, no big-deal, we're all grown-ups here, etc. Mark is using Beast as PR but he also, you know, loves him as he is adorbs. After meeting with Cesar Milan Mark starts to think that maybe some of his "dog whispering" techniques can work with humans. (since to Mark, it's just that easy.) He tries a few out with, like, employees and they seems to work. So he decides to implement them on a bigger scale ... like with Eduardo.

Eduardo, of course, eventually figures out Mark's weird behavior and is like Are you trying to dog whisper me? and Mark's like what? no, of course not! and Eduardo is like wtf, you ARE! and then they have a fight you can't manipulate people like code OR dogs, Mark! and I wasn't trying to manipulate you, I just want to be more than some guy you see at parties and have coffee with! and wait, what did you just say?

And then they make up/hook up and live happily ever after and Beast is the ring bearer in the wedding and it's adorable and I DON'T KNOW OR I'D WRITE IT, OK?

(Anything with Beast and adorableness, basically, the Cesar Milan stuff was just too immediately funny to pass up...)

don't judge me!



Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?



I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much

Eduardo/Mark, boy!Erica

Eduardo never made a move on Mark because he dated Erica, assuming he was straight. In this universe, Erica doesn't exist. But there is an Eric Albright. And he's dating Mark. Whom Eduardo thought he was straight. Now, Eduardo's not gonna have it. Mark is HIS. So he lets his hotblooded latin temper loose. You'd better watch your back, Eric. Because Eduardo's not coming back for 30%. He's coming back for everything.


"Mark, when I said I was coming back for everything, I meant everything. Including you."

"... God, you can be such a dick, Eduardo."

"And you're an asshole. I think we're even."

... just write something along those lines, can be anything.

[RPF] Andrew/Jesse, Diplomat AU

Jesse, a hard working and shy FSO working in USAID (and utterly terrified of SecState Clinton), meets Andrew, idealist and adorable HMDS officer, a rising star in the Foreign Office, at a UN Milennium Goal meeting.

They fall in love, work on a long distant relationship, and try not to let their political overlords crush their souls, while still working to make the world a better place.

There should be a serious chance of spontaneously developing insulin resistant diabetes via the computer. Please.

Re: [RPF] Andrew/Jesse, Diplomat AU


I read far too much politics!fic anyway, but I can't help it, Clameron are so adorable, they make it too easy....

Anyway, yes, please, something, anything, long distance is awesome and I need this!

Re: [RPF] Andrew/Jesse, Diplomat AU - (Anonymous), 2011-04-01 05:00 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: [RPF] Andrew/Jesse, Diplomat AU - (Anonymous), 2011-04-02 11:44 am (UTC)(Expand)