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The Social Network: the kink meme!

It's Complicated: But sexy!

zuckonitkinkeme zuckonitkinkeme wrote in tsn_kinkmeme
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quick note; GUYS. please be aware that if you posted a prompt in part six and it is now screened, i have posted them to the post already - so that you guys don't have to. thanks for being patient and making the fill-a-thon such a success!

sorry i didn't get much of delicious done; i lacked the internet over the break but rest assured i have absolutely nothing to do so will get it, hopefully.




IMPORTANT: please DO NOT post prompts about any non-public people as part of a prompt. for example: randi zuckerberg is fine as she is a public figure both on the internet and on facebook itself. priscilla chan is NOT as she is not a public figure.

if you're in doubt, please message the mod or leave a comment in the discussion post.

♥ post requests and responses in the comments to this post.
♥ be respectful.
♥ both a pairing/character AND a prompt/kink must be posted.
♥ one pairing/prompt per comment please.
♥ you are encouraged to try and write a prompt for every request you make.
♥ we are slash, femslash, het, three-and-moresomes etc. friendly. (we are even incest friendly what with some of our characters being twins and all...)
♥ no pairing bashing, OK? no need to wank over ships.
♥ long and short fics welcome. multiple responses encouraged!
♥ please try to refrain from saying 'seconded!' as much as possible.
♥ on RPF: Please disclaim that it is RPF, a work of fiction and in no way related to the actual actors/persons/etc. (i wouldn't even try and discourage RPF from this meme ;))


♥ alphabetize pairings/threesomes/moresomes. (e.g. Eduardo/Mark/Sean etc.)
♥ put [RPF] before RPF prompts. (e.g. [RPF] Andrew/Jesse)
♥ for crossover prompts: "[Crossover], The Social Network Character(s)/Other Character(s), [Fandom]" (e.g. [Crossover], Eduardo/Columbus, [Zombieland])
♥ no "!" in pairings, only in descriptions. (e.g. Eduardo/Mark, FacebookCreator!Eduardo, CFO!Mark)
♥ anyone, everyone, no one? Use "Other." (e.g. Sean/Other)
♥ put [GEN] before GEN prompts.


♥ please don't embed. link to images/videos.
♥ no locked material. this includes communities, even if membership is open.
♥ fills can be posted anonymously or not.
♥ fills can be anything: fic, art, vid, fanmix, podfic, etc.
♥ all prompts are open to fills at all times, even if they have been filled in the past or are being currently filled by someone else. multiple fills are positively encouraged; if something appeals to you then do not be put off creating a new fill by the existence of a prior one.
NEW: ♥ PLEASE comment with the first of your fill to the PROMPT and then all future updates as a comment to the FIRST PART of the fill. this makes it easier for both the WIP spreadhseet and for archiving stuff on delicious. it also helps people who are trying to catch up on updates and don't have to look through every fill on the prompt (should it have more than one). thank you.






have fun!

THERE WILL BE UNMARKED SPOILERS. enter at your own risk! :D


i know you guys are enjoying this meme and i appreciate that but please can you put the SUBJECT HEADER on your prompt. you would REALLY be helping me out if you could do that. it just saves time for me when i'm trying to tag everything in delicious.

AND PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT repost prompts from parts three, four, five or six over here again. the delicious is around for people to find prompts they may not have already seen. (prompts for parts one and two are now up for reposting.)




Mark is not jealous of Wardo's boyfriends, okay? He's happy for Wardo and he would never try to undermine his relationships. He has no idea how Ethan ended up on a No Fly list. Or why the FBI decided to interrogate Jake about his suspicious emails. Or who hijacked the computers at Sam's place of work so that all the screens featured a nude Sam during a frat hazing. No idea.

Re: Mark/Eduardo

Brilliant prompt! OP, should the fic be set during Harvard days or after the depositions?

Re: Mark/Eduardo - (Anonymous), 2011-06-11 03:55 am (UTC)(Expand)

as of yet untitled (1/?)

Mark knows everyone wants to hear the big reunion story.

Mark knows that everyone just assumes there was a big reunion scene. Some kind of cathartic, brutally honest, deep conversation that involved shouting and maybe some pushing and shoving but that then ended with the two of them shaking hands and coming to a perfectly clear, mutual understanding of who and where they both are now.

But that never happened.


There's not really a story. About two years after the settlement, Dustin has a housewarming party when he buys this amazing new place in San Francisco. Eduardo and Mark end up making small talk over a beer and, well, the small talk that night sort of never stops. Mark waits for it to get awkward or even trail off, but they keep finding things to talk about.

Eventually, Chris comes over and clamps a hand on Mark's shoulder, nodding and smiling tightly at Eduardo as he drags Mark to a corner and whispers, "What is happening here? What the fuck are you doing?"

And Mark tells him the honest truth. "Um, talking about movies and Asian investment markets with Eduardo?"

Chris stares at him. "Mark, you can't -"

"No," Mark interrupts. "I can. We both can. We can't talk about the terms of the settlement but there's nothing stopping us from discussing The Dark Knight. So - uh - I gotta go." He moves to walk back towards Eduardo, strangely worried Chris has ruined this evening of not a big deal at all, casual, small talk.

"OK Mark," Chris is trying for conciliatory now, "if you really want to do this, maybe you and Eduardo should try having a real conversation about what happened and -"

"Unnecessary," Mark says. "we're just making small talk."

Chris pinches the bridge of his nose. "You know, this is going to come back and bite you in the ass someday, Mark," he says, his tone pained.

"Nah," Mark answers, nonchalantly, already disengaging from Chris and scanning the party to see where Eduardo is. "what's the worst that could happen?"


Eight months later, when Mark's hacking into the TSA's high-security no fly list database, he'll have a sudden memory of this moment and almost want to laugh.

So, yeah, there's no big reunion scene. But maybe there should've been.

Re: as of yet untitled (1/?) - leladancer18, 2011-06-12 02:09 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: as of yet untitled (1/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-12 02:27 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: as of yet untitled (1/?) - lynnmathews, 2011-06-12 01:51 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: as of yet untitled (1/?) - nlovers, 2011-06-22 03:12 pm (UTC)(Expand)

as of yet untitled (2/?)

The day after the party, Mark texts Eduardo. Are we friends again now? Because he figures he might as well be direct about it and why waste time or be weird about what is the totally-normal-not-a-big-deal resuming of their friendship?

A few hours later his phone buzzes in reply. Sure, I guess. If you want to be friends again?

Why would I have talked to you at the party for two hours and then texted if I didn't want to be friends?

The response this time is instantaneous. Clearly not for the polite social nicety obligation.

Mark's maybe smiling a little at that, so he feels confident dashing off his response. Hi, I'm Mark Zuckerberg, have we met?

haha...right! Well, let's try this, then. I'm Eduardo Saverin, glad to meet you.

See? No big deal.


"Chris tells me you and Wardo are, like, friends again or something?" Dustin asks over lunch a few weeks later, his tone walking a line between suspicious and disbelieving.

Mark swirls a french fry in ketchup and shrugs. "Yeah, we've been texting and e-mailing some and, uh, there was one phone call. It's not a big deal or anything."

Mark doesn't think to mention that the phone call lasted seven hours and they fell asleep without hanging up so when he woke up the next morning, he still had the phone pressed to his ear, with Eduardo's slight snoring on the other end of the line. Because, you know, a phone call's a phone call and all that.

Dustin stares at Mark. "I - how - please tell me this happened because you two finally sat down and really talked about everything that happened? About the mistakes you both made? About the sexual tension you always had even before -"

Before he can even think about it, Mark flings the ketchup-drenched fry right at Dustin's head.

Dustin doesn't have time to dodge but, luckily, Mark's aim is terrible and the fry goes wide, missing Dustin entirely. Dustin sighs. "So, I'll just take that as a no, then. Look, Mark, if you don't do something serious, this is going to come back and bite you in the ass someday, you know."

Mark carefully considers how juvenile it would be to fling his whole plate of food at Dustin. But then, who cares about juvenile? What about effective? Probably not very. So he might as well address Dustin's weird, totally misplaced concerns about something he clearly didn't understand in the slightest.

"No, it won't. It's not a big deal or anything."

"The cutest part is how you legitimate believe that," Dustin says, shaking his head.


And when Mark's sending an anonymous (and, OK, fine, FAKE) to the FBI about ten months after that conversation, Mark will wonder how, exactly, Chris and Dustin seemed to have all this figured out before he did.

Re: as of yet untitled (2/?) - leladancer18, 2011-06-13 03:45 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: as of yet untitled (2/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-13 03:56 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: as of yet untitled (2/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-13 04:37 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: as of yet untitled (2/?) - chang_hen_ge, 2011-06-13 07:51 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: as of yet untitled (2/?) - love_infinitum, 2011-06-14 11:00 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: as of yet untitled (2/?) - nlovers, 2011-06-22 03:12 pm (UTC)(Expand)

as of yet untitled (3/?)

thanks for the comments! :) This is the last section before the ~story starts, I promise! ;) I am thinking of calling this So Totally Not A Big Deal but I dunno if that works ... thoughts?!

So there is no big reunion story and it's no big deal. It's just two old college friends who drifted apart as their lives got busy and they got older reconnecting when they find out they're in the same industry. And, yes, then the friends discover they still have that same familiar camaraderie that allows them to talk for all hours and share minute details of their daily lives and, also, yeah, late at night, discuss deep stuff like their parents and what they want out of life.

It's just what anyone does with an old college friend. Totally normal. Totally not a big deal at all. Why's everyone so worked up about it?


"Sy Ablemen on line four, Mr. Zuckerberg, he says it's urgent," his assistant Janice interrupts his coding with a worried look on her face. "He said if you wouldn't get on the phone he'd come down here himself and -"

Mark waves her off. Easier to brush Sy off and get the conversation done with and then get back to coding. "Put him through."

"Mark what in the hell are you doing?" Sy's voice is furious. "I ran into Gretchen at a bar dinner last night and she told me that you and Saverin are friends again?"

"Um, aren't you my lawyer, not my social scheduler? What are you and Gretchen doing gossiping about us anyhow?"

"Gossiping! We weren't," Sy sputters. "Damn it, Mark, you both signed the papers, you both agreed to the non-disclosure settlement that could cost-"

"Yeah, we don't talk about the settlement. Or about any of that stuff, really. It's boring."

"Boring? BORING?" Mark is worried Sy might be having a heart attack. "Saverin sued you for -"

"Yeah, yeah, I was there. That's how I know it was boring. And totally not relevant to anything now, much less our conversations. Why's everyone so interested in this anyway? We're just old college friends, catching up on -"

Sy's hysterical laughter cuts Mark off. "Look, Mark. I know your friends have probably already told you that this is going to come back and bite you in the ass someday, so just let me throw out there that the firm appreciates your business and we do, in fact, have family law counsel that specializes in pre-nups and dissolution for civil unions, both of which I think you'll need to consider since you seem to think you don't need to talk -"

Mark hangs up.

Seriously, what's with everyone?


"Bro," Sean says, grinning and strutting through Mark's office doors as Janice protests uselessly in the background. "I just heard the craziest shit!"

Mark sighs and pulls off his headphones. There's no dismissing Sean when he's got this look on his face. He raises his eyebrows as prompting for Sean to continue.

"I heard you and Eduardo were biffles again," Sean says, still smirking.

"We're not - what does that even mean? Are you dating a 17 year old that says that? We're friends, that's all, it's no big deal."

"Hey, sure man, whatever you say. No big deal, I get that." Sean shrugs and smiles.

"I don't understand why everyone - wait - what?"

"Friends again. Why not, right? What's the point of having some big talk about your feelings and shit? What a waste." Sean snorts with contempt. "Talking. What's that ever done for anyone? You and Saverin want to be bros again, that's cool. I mean, what's the worst that could happen, right?"

"Right," Mark says slowly. "It's not like this is going to come back and bite me in the ass someday."

"Exactly," Sean agrees. "Now ya wanna hear about the girl I learned the word biffles from?"


Months later, as Mark is installing a very clever, totally untraceable Trojan Horse that will spam an entire office with a very embarrassing picture he'll realize this was the moment he should have really known something was wrong. Because if Sean didn't think it was a big deal, well, obviously, it had been a big deal all along.

Which meant this was all about to come back and bite Mark in the ass.

Re: as of yet untitled (3/?) - leladancer18, 2011-06-13 02:42 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: as of yet untitled (3/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-13 03:08 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: as of yet untitled (3/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-13 03:15 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: as of yet untitled (3/?) - ymorton, 2011-06-13 05:19 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: as of yet untitled (3/?) - chang_hen_ge, 2011-06-14 07:03 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: as of yet untitled (3/?) - love_infinitum, 2011-06-14 11:05 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: as of yet untitled (3/?) - slasher48, 2011-06-14 05:29 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: as of yet untitled (3/?) - nlovers, 2011-06-22 03:13 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: as of yet untitled (3/?) - sonjamillicent, 2011-06-27 07:01 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: as of yet untitled (3/?) - sonjamillicent, 2011-06-28 01:37 am (UTC)(Expand)

as of yet untitled (4/?)

"Hey," Mark says to Eduardo over the phone one night, just over two months into the totally not a big deal resumption of their regular friendship, "we should, like, hang out in person sometime."

It's hour two of their phone call. Usually, like all normal friends, they have at least one night a week where they arrange for their across-the-globe schedules to line up so they can talk for a few hours at a time. Mark's sitting out by his pool, looking up at the stars and enjoying the spring evening. (not that he'd ever admit this, but it feels good to be out of his house and not staring at a computer screen. Eduardo always did manage to drag him away from coding when he needed it most and would admit it the least. See? Just like always, just like normal.)

"Yeah," Eduardo says without hesitation. "It's about time I made another visit out there to check on some investments. It'd be good to see - everyone. And, um, you can -" his voice falters a little.

Mark's heart absolutely does not hammer in his chest with a weird feeling of anticipation. Not at all.

"You can meet Ethan," Eduardo finished.

"Who's Ethan?" Mark asks.

"Um - uh - he's - um - he's my boyfriend."

And that? Whether Mark knew it or not, that was the start of it being a very big deal.


"I mean, I'm totally cool with it," Mark says for the six thousandth time. "I just think he should have maybe said something earlier, you know, about liking guys?"

"Mark, I am this close to punching you in the face and I have never punched anyone in the face in my entire life," Dustin says, his voice weary.

"What? I'm saying how totally cool with this I am," Mark says.

Chris is laughing so hard he's almost rocking back and forth a little. "Flying out here for this was truly the greatest decision of my life."

The three of them are at Mark's house, waiting for Eduardo and Ethan to arrive. Mark, like a good friend would, invited Eduardo and Ethan for dinner (which to Mark translated to beer, movies, and pizza) because he was so cool with Eduardo having a boyfriend. Dustin heard about the invitation, texted Chris, and before Mark knew what hit him, the two of them had invited themselves along.

Mark blinks confusedly at Dustin and Chris. Why do they keep staring at him like that? "All I'm saying, as someone who is totally cool with all of this, is it just seems like the kind of thing you'd-"

"Mark, for fuck's sake!" Dustin interrupts. "This is exactly what we meant when we said you needed to talk to him! How could you not know? The suits, the hair, the girlfriends who were always scary and kept him at arm's length, the way he doted on you like -"

"Me?" Mark is puzzled. "What do I have to do with all this?"

Dustin stares at him, blankly, as Chris keeps giggling.

Before Mark can say anything else, like about how this is just a regular night at home with a friend stopping by with his "significant other" (but, really, how "significant" can this guy be? Eduardo never mentioned him once in two months of conversation and there had been a lot of conversation, OK? And he'd only been dating him three months, which was right around the time Mark and Eduardo casually resumed their friendship, so how could that be significant? Really, Ethan was more like a guy Eduardo was hanging out with. That's all.) and nothing else - the doorbell rings.

They're here.

Re: as of yet untitled (4/?) - chang_hen_ge, 2011-06-15 02:55 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: as of yet untitled (4/?) - thatsapplejack, 2011-06-15 04:05 am (UTC)(Expand)
OP - (Anonymous), 2011-06-15 04:37 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: as of yet untitled (4/?) - therealw, 2011-06-15 04:44 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: as of yet untitled (4/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-15 04:44 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: as of yet untitled (4/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-15 07:34 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: as of yet untitled (4/?) - nlovers, 2011-06-22 03:14 pm (UTC)(Expand)

as of yet untitled (5/?)

(still need a title!)

When Mark opens his front door he finds Eduardo clutching the hand of a very tall guy. Eduardo looks very nervous, which is weird, because what's there to be nervous about in a situation this totally normal? And why is he holding this guy's hand so tightly? Is that really necessary? The guy, Ethan, doesn't look nervous. He's just smiling. See? Ethan knows what's up.

"Hey," Mark says, casually, inviting them to step in.

"Mark, hi - hey - it's good to -" Eduardo's face lights up in this familiar, lop-sided grin Mark knows so well. He steps forward and yanks Ethan along with him. It's almost like he's forgotten Ethan's there. But Ethan stumbling behind him seems to snap him back. He stops and the grin slides off his face. "Um, I mean, thank you for having us - hey - uh - oh, I mean, damn, I forgot to introduce - um - Ethan. This is, uh, Ethan."

Ethan waves with his free hand and gives Mark a friendly smile that's just right: not too friendly but not too casual and he seems like a really nice guy and suddenly, for no reason at all, Mark hates this fucking guy.

Huh. What's that all about?


"I was so excited to meet all of you at once," Ethan enthuses.

The five of them are sitting in Mark's living room. Mark's sitting stiff as a board in one of his huge chairs. Eduardo and Ethan are squeezed together on a smaller loveseat, so close there's not an inch between them, which, to Mark, is practically a public display of affection and does anyone really need to see that? In between them on Mark's huge couch Dustin and Chris are staring with unabashed fascination at Mark and Eduardo.

"Yeah," Chris says, nodding in Ethan's general direction while keeping his eyes focused on Mark, "We thought it would be fun."

Dustin elbows him sharply. "We're glad to meet you, Ethan, and it's good to - the four of us haven't, uh, hung out in a while so it's -"

Ethan just keeps smiling. "Yeah, I know. I mean, I know the story and I think it's really great you're all friends again. That's a real testament to the strength of your friendship. Wardo has told me -"

Did Ethan just say . . . Wardo?

Eduardo's face falls and Mark hears Dustin try to cover a short gasp with a fake cough. "Yes, yes, yeah," Chris interrupts, semi-babbling, his voice strained. "Strength. Friendship. Good, great."

Ethan just stares at them, seemingly becoming aware of the weird tension in the room for the first time.

Mark wants to say something to tell everyone there's no reason for tension because this is all totally normal and not a big thing, but he can't get past Wardo and how wrong that is to hear Ethan just toss off and maybe Mark should stand up and say something - just so Ethan will know, just so Ethan will really know that you can't just say Wardo like it's no big deal, like it's not a nickname that Mark himself made up because Eddie sounded so stupid. That'd be a good friend thing to do, right? Yeah, totally. So, Mark will just let Ethan know -

The doorbell rings again.

"THANK GOD," Dustin shouts, surging to his feet before Mark can get up and, very casually, tell Ethan to never say that name or fucking else, "DINNER IS HERE! MARK, YOU'D BETTER GO PAY DINNER!"

Sure, that's totally normal. He'll do that. And maybe on the way to the front door to pay for dinner, he'll stop and log on to his laptop for just a few minutes and take a closer look at Ethan's Facebook and -

But then Chris is dragging him towards the door. "Yes, dinner it is," Chris shouts over his shoulder to Dustin, Eduardo, and Ethan.

"Mark," Chris whispers, "this was your genius idea, OK? So you're just going to have to get your shit together and act normal, all right?"

Act normal? What does Chris think he's been doing all along?

Re: as of yet untitled (5/?) - leladancer18, 2011-06-16 01:36 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: as of yet untitled (5/?) - chang_hen_ge, 2011-06-16 02:26 am (UTC)(Expand)

No Big Deal (6/?)

“It’s Indian food,” Mark says, setting the bags down on the dinner table.

He’d thought they were just all going to huddle over the coffee table in the living room, but Dustin had rounded Ethan and Eduardo up and moved them to what passed for Mark’s dining room, but was really just a room with a table he never used much. Chris came back from the kitchen, mismatched plates he’d managed to dig out from Mark’s cabinets, in hand.

“Indian food?” Dustin says, curiously.

“Yeah, Singh’s, my favorite place,” Mark’s digging around in the bags. He continues without looking up.

“I didn’t even know you liked Indian food,” Dustin’s says with wonder.

“The curry. He likes curry,” Mark hears Eduardo half-whisper from the other side of the table.

“Eduardo, remember on the phone last week? When you said you were missing good vindaloo and naan? That it never tasted right in Singapore? Well, I thought – ”

Mark lifts out of the bag and holds it out to Eduardo, who is staring at him with disbelief. "You...remembered. You...were listening," Eduardo says in a breathy voice that absolutely does nothing weird to Mark's heart, like make it speed up and beat triple-time. Of course he was listening, wasn't that the point of talking?

“Lamb vindaloo, the kind you were talking about." Mark holds the box out. "The spiciest and best in all of Palo Alto, I promise.”

Ethan, without missing a beat and smiling at Mark appreciatively says, “Oh, that's totally cool. Thank you so much, but no thanks. Wardo doesn’t really like spicy foods, do you, babe?”

Mark, mouth gaping like a fish, is struggling through his outrage at the total falsity of this statement, when he hears a loud crash from directly behind him. Ethan and Dustin’s gazes are momentarily distracted, but Mark doesn’t look away from Eduardo and, he notes, Eduardo doesn’t look away from him either.

“Sorry – it’s – a plate. No big deal! I just dropped a plate,” Chris apologizes too loudly.

As if that’s gonna distract Mark.


“I – you – he – why would – that’s a – ” Mark, paying no heed to his smashed dinner plate, finally finds the right words. “That’s a lie. Tell him you lied, Eduardo.”

He sets the box down and looks right at Eduardo, not even sparing a glance for Ethan.
“I– it wasn’t a lie, per se, it’s just … Ethan doesn’t really do spicy food,” his voice is sheepish. “So, I didn’t want him to feel like he had to eat it just for me, so I told him that I didn’t … it wasn’t a lie.”

Now Eduardo is defensive. But Mark knows what a lie is, OK?

But Ethan doesn’t seem to mind the lie, not at all. His breaks out in a big, soppy grin instead and coos, “Oh, baby. That’s adorable.”

Then he leans right over and in front of Mark and the whole world, presses a quick, closed mouth kiss to Eduardo’s mouth.

There’s another loud crash behind Mark. “Will you look at that,” Dustin shouts, “Chris dropped all five plates he was carrying! Wow! Let’s all look at this accidental mess!”

And this is the moment, as a totally regular and normal friend who is, in no way, jealous, Mark decides he is going to destroy Ethan.

No big deal.

Re: No Big Deal (6/?) - sunsurfsmile, 2011-06-16 02:41 am (UTC)(Expand)
OP - (Anonymous), 2011-06-16 04:11 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (6/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-16 04:34 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (6/?) - leladancer18, 2011-06-16 04:43 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (6/?) - mowglimoonshado, 2011-06-16 12:01 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (6/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-16 12:04 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (6/?) - catbird_tales, 2011-06-16 08:38 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (6/?) - hikki_passion, 2011-06-20 07:49 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (6/?) - nlovers, 2011-06-22 03:17 pm (UTC)(Expand)

No Big Deal (7/?)

(OMFG, so many amazing comments. Y'all are my sunshine during my terrible work-life! I promise to catch up with them but know every one makes me grin. So, I know I said Mark does all this "eight months" after his reconnection w/ Eduardo but Mark couldn't wait ;) so it's really closer to four or five months. Times will be correctly edited in the final version of this!)

"I can't believe I actually lived through that," Dustin says, dazedly.

"Did we survive? Is it over?" Chris's voice is disbelieving.

"Why would Eduardo drag Ethan off like that right after dinner? They didn't even stay for the movie, which sucks, because I paid some guy a ton of money to make me a studio quality cam version of this movie Eduardo mentioned he wanted to see." Mark looks questioningly at Dustin and Chris, who are slumped on his couch.

"Chris, I need you to pinch me so I can confirm this is actually fucking happening."

"Dustin, I can't right now, I have to dig through my pockets to find my totem to make sure we're not being incepted right now."

"What?" Mark demands. "What?"

He barely has time to dodge the couch cushions Dustin and Chris simultaneously throw at him.


"I'm sorry we ran off - I mean, I'm sorry we had to leave like that," Eduardo apologizes the next week during their weekly phone call. He's back on the other side of the planet and part of Mark wasn't even expecting him to call. (Not that he broke out into an inexplicable smile when his phone lit up with the call or anything.)

"Oh, it's no big deal," Mark says.

"It was just...Ethan....um, I hadn't had spicy food in a really long time and, uh, it made me, it gave me, I just had to go," he stumbles out.

"Ethan," Mark says, his voice leading, waiting for Eduardo to finish.

"Yes, thank you again for - it was nice of you to - I know it was a little -"

Mark wonders why Eduardo's so flustered.

Finally, he spits out an end to his sentence. "Ethan liked you."

Yes, well, that's all well and good, Mark supposes, but it's not going to stop him from monitoring Ethan's credit card activity.


Ethan and Eduardo keep dating. Mark and Eduardo keep talking. Mark's stopped waiting for the time that Eduardo is going to quit calling, the time that he's going to say Ethan is coming over, so we can't talk this week. That never happens. Whatever is happening with Ethan and Eduardo, Mark and Eduardo still have their at least weekly phone conversations that last for hours, they still send texts and emails, they're still your regular, average, normal friends.

Friends who never, ever, bring up one's boyfriend or even mention his name. Because, you know, with the thousands of other things they have to talk about, why would Ethan ever come up? He's just some guy, after all, it's not like he's a big part of Eduardo's life or anything. That'd be ridiculous.


And then, at last, is the night when it all comes back and bites Mark on the ass.

"I'm coming to California," Eduardo says that night, almost three months since he sat in Mark's kitchen and ate lamb vindaloo with a look of guilty happiness on his face.

"Oh," Mark says, completely and totally not excited in any way, "that's cool. You should come - we should hang out."

There's an endless silence on the other end of the world before Eduardo says, "Uh, well, maybe that's not a great idea this time. It's just, uh, well, Ethan is coming too and, uh, we're meeting his parents and, uh - I just didn't want you to find out I was there and - um, god, fuck, I'm sorry."

Mark's blood does not turn to ice in his veins. Mark does have to bite his tongue to keep from shouting at Eduardo Meeting his parents? You've only been dating five fucking months! Those would be reactions indicating that this was a big deal when it absolutely was not a big deal in any way.

"Oh, that's cool."

(Mark really hates the word cool and wishes he could stop saying it.)

Anyway, it's not a big deal because, well, Ethan isn't going to be able to make the trip from Singapore to San Francisco. Mark, with the help of the No Fly list, is going to make sure of that.


Re: No Big Deal (7/?) - chang_hen_ge, 2011-06-17 03:07 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (7/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-17 03:16 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (7/?) - thatsapplejack, 2011-06-17 03:17 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (7/?) - askmehow, 2011-06-17 03:25 am (UTC)(Expand)
OP - (Anonymous), 2011-06-17 03:28 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (7/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-17 03:29 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (7/?) - fioletova, 2011-06-17 04:03 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (7/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-17 07:14 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (7/?) - mowglimoonshado, 2011-06-17 11:05 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (7/?) - l_s_d_me, 2011-06-19 05:48 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (7/?) - nlovers, 2011-06-22 03:18 pm (UTC)(Expand)

No Big Deal (8/?)

Kinda having an emergency in Singapore, can you do something illegal to help me?

Something illegal? Mark's not sure that's right.

But he texts back anyway.

What's up?

Something weird is going on - they took Ethan out of pre-board and are saying they need to question him?

I'll see what I can find out.

Mark eats a sandwich.


Not safe to text. Can you call?

Eduardo sounds harried. "Mark, thank God. Did you find anything out? This is ridiculous. We're here at the airport and they've taken Ethan off somewhere and I have to board! I can't - I already missed one flight and I have meetings and I can't just wait here all day. Did you find out anything?"

"I couldn't find out anything. I mean, I could try to do some more upper level hacks but I don't know if you -"

"No. No, don't risk it - I just - what could it be?"

"I dunno," Mark says, as if he really is mystified. "But unless it's something crazy like he's on the No Fly list, he'll be able to catch a later flight and join you. So, you might as well fly out. Like you said, you have meetings."

"Well, if you think ..."

"Do you want me to hack the United States government's high security files?" Mark asks.

"No!" Eduardo is horrified. "No, of course not! You could get in real trouble, no!"

"Well then..."

"Yeah, I'll just fly out. Ethan will ... it'll be easy for him to catch a later flight, so - I'm sure he'll understand. Thanks - I'm not even really sure why I thought to call you - but - um, thank you for the help."

Mark is absolutely not smiling from ear to ear.

"Hey, what are friends for?"


Eduardo calls the next night, "Ethan broke up with me!" he exclaims as soon as Mark picks up the phone.

"What?" Mark really is surprised to hear that. He expected Ethan to be upset about missing the flight and, OK, being investigated as a terrorist, but how would that lead to something extreme like breaking up with Eduardo? Who does Ethan think he is, breaking up with Mark's friend like that?

"He said - it turned out he was on the No Fly list. How crazy is that? How was I supposed to know - he was so angry I left - he said, he said, he said it was my fault!"

"Your fault?"

"Yeah, how weird is that? He kept saying he knew something like this was going to happen, that he'd tried to give me the benefit of the doubt, but he'd been waiting for something like this. And I said, 'I don't even know what that means!' and he said "How stupid and oblivious can one person be? Can two people be?" So I told him he wasn't even making sense and he said I was being deliberately difficult because I didn't want to face the truth about my closest relationships, which I told him has nothing to do with him mysteriously ending up on the No Fly list, and he said he just couldn't do this anymore and he - he - he dumped me!"

"Wow," Mark says, "that doesn't make any sense. People can be so irrational about things."

"I know," Eduardo sounds just as mystified as Mark.

"So, you're just out in California alone now?" Mark asks.

"Yeah, I had meetings with investors in San Francisco today and I'm coming out to Palo Alto tomorrow to meet with a new possible company. We were supposed to - well, anyway, yes I'm alone."

Well, Mark does what any good, normal, regular friend would do.

"Do you wanna hang out?" He asks Eduardo.

"I might not be the best company. Well, um, I mean, I don't know if that's the best idea right now, uh, I - " Mark can tell he's taken aback by the forthrightness of the request.

"C'mon," Mark says, which is practically begging if you think about it.

"Yeah," Eduardo says, his voice now steady. "OK. Yeah, definitely."

And Mark's heart does not race because it's just two friends hanging out, which is not a big deal at all.

OP - (Anonymous), 2011-06-17 08:40 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (8/?) - themis, 2011-06-17 09:30 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (8/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-17 10:01 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (8/?) - mowglimoonshado, 2011-06-17 10:53 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (8/?) - accrues, 2011-06-17 10:54 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (8/?) - janonny, 2011-06-17 11:50 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (8/?) - chang_hen_ge, 2011-06-18 01:03 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (8/?) - cissy_chan, 2011-06-18 01:05 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (8/?) - nlovers, 2011-06-22 03:22 pm (UTC)(Expand)

No Big Deal (9/?)

Mark, if you don't respond to this text in ten minutes I am calling the police. Janice called me, frantic, and said she was worried because you called her and said you were taking two days off and not to disturb you unless the site crashed and even then, only if the first wave of programmers couldn't get it fixed. MARK, HAVE YOU BEEN KIDNAPPED BY SOMALI PIRATES?

Mark, this is Sy Ableman. I need you to call me back. Your assistant, Janice, called me and said she was worried that, as your lawyers, we might need to negotiate a hostage demand soon because you weren't coming in to work for a few days? Mark, is this about Mr. Saverin? Please call me back soon.

Mark, this is Chris. Wardo's there isn't he?


They have a totally normal weekend as friends. They eat very spicy food and stay up late watching movies, playing video games, and talking. On Saturday, Eduardo wants to go swimming so they actually end up dunking each other in the pool. (which is what friends do, OK? And Mark doesn't know why the sound of Eduardo's giddy laughter and the feeling of Eduardo's hands holding tight to his shoulders and pushing him down gives him an erection, but he's pretty sure it was a random coincidence involving human biology.)

Eduardo spends Saturday night in Mark's guest room because it's late and they had several beers and it would be more weird if he didn't. On Sunday morning before Eduardo flies out, Mark makes sure to have bagels delivered from his favorite place (they don't actually deliver, but Mark pays them enough to get a delivery) because Eduardo says they don't do bagels right in Singapore.

Eating the bagels in the kitchen Mark says, "You know, Singapore doesn't seem to have a lot of good food."

"It's weird," Eduardo says, chewing on his bagel with a look of delight, "somehow food always tastes better here."

"Weird," Mark agrees.


And then everything goes back to normal, with their conversations and then Eduardo asks one night if they can Skype because he's too tired to talk on the phone, doesn't Mark know he's on the other side of the planet and it's night where he is?

So Mark turns on his webcam and see Eduardo lying in his bed, waving at Mark as he lays on his side, shirtless, leaning his head on his hand, hair messy and eyes drowsy with sleep.

For once, Mark doesn't want to talk all night. He wraps the conversation up quickly and finds himself in his bathroom, jerking off while biting down on his lip so hard he's afraid he might draw blood.

Then he lies in bed for an hour trying to figure out how he got so damn turned on.


It's been two months since the weekend Eduardo hung out at his house and Mark's starting to think he might suggest a visit to Singapore. Friends visit each other, after all.

First, though, he has some investor thing in New York City that's supposed to only last a day but ends up with him spending the night in the city. Of course, that results in Sean showing up at his hotel room, pounding on his door and shouting "Bitch, get out of the sweatpants, we're going out!"

Which, fine, Mark can survive one night out with Sean. He's out of town anyway and Sean can be fun and how badly can it go?

Until he sees Eduardo, Eduardo across the club, dancing too closely to a huge guy Mark's never seen before.

Until Sean waves them over with a big smile, "Mark, it's your biffle, Saverin!" He giggles as Eduardo and the guy awkwardly making their way over to where Sean's waving his hand like a lunatic.

And that - that's the start of how Jake gets investigated by the FBI.

Re: No Big Deal (9/?) - leladancer18, 2011-06-18 05:42 am (UTC)(Expand)
OP - (Anonymous), 2011-06-18 06:05 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (9/?) - themis, 2011-06-18 11:06 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (9/?) - daisysusan, 2011-06-18 11:55 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (9/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-18 12:01 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (9/?) - janonny, 2011-06-18 12:52 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (9/?) - mowglimoonshado, 2011-06-18 02:14 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (9/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-18 04:36 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (9/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-22 03:23 pm (UTC)(Expand)

No Big Deal (10/?)

"This is cool, right?" Sean shouts over the thrum of the music as Eduardo and the guy make their way over to them.

"Yeah, of course," Mark says, "it's no big deal."

(Mark's not sure why he suddenly can't breathe, why his chest feels so tight. Is he having an asthma attack? He doesn't have asthma but maybe that's it.)


"Saverin!" Sean shouts in a happy voice.

Eduardo is clearly flustered and unsure how to react. He stares at Sean for a few seconds, completely baffled.

"Bro, it's cool," Sean says. "Marky has told me you two are besties again so, you know, what's up?"

"Hello?" Eduardo says, but it's really more of a question.

Mark's ready to say something casual and friendly, like, "Hey, good to see you! It's cool you're here, what a coincidence, if I knew we were both going to be in town we could have arranged dinner or something!" so he's surprised to hear himself saying, instead, "Who is that?" He points past Eduardo to the huge guy standing behind him, who is dressed in an impeccable suit and looks like he's just stepped off the pages of a J. Crew catalog. He reminds Mark of someone, but he can't put his finger on who.

"Oh, um - uh - I didn't know you were gonna be in town or I, uh, that's why I didn't say anything, um, I mean, what are you even, um I should have -" Eduardo won't meet Mark's eyes and even in the low lights of the club, Mark can see a dull flush rising in his cheeks.

The irritatingly handsome guy leans forward and gives Mark and Sean a smile that practically lights the place up. Then he sticks a hand out. "Wow, you're Mark Zuckerberg and you're Sean Parker. This is awesome. I'm Jake, Eduardo's boyfriend."

Forget asthma, Mark thinks he might have the flu, because he suddenly feels sick to his stomach and, also, he might be about to pass out.


Instead he drops down, gracelessly, onto the bar stool next to Sean. Sean, who loves being told meeting him is awesome, grabs Jake's hand enthusiastically. "It is awesome, isn't it?" he says smiling and nodding. Eduardo doesn't say anything, he just keeps his eyes downcast.

Mark can't seem to form any words, but it's OK because Sean and Jake are carried off in conversation as Mark and Eduardo have seemingly been rendered mute.

"So, how did you meet Saverin? Do you do business shit too?"

Jake's laugh, which sounds like bells, makes Mark's skin crawl. Could this guy possibly get any worse?

"Hardly. We met through friends. I'm terrible with business and Internet stuff. I'm a model."

"That's fucking fabulous," Sean grins from ear to ear. "You're, like, Saverin's trophy boyfriend."

"Actually, we should be rivals, since I'm a Yalie. I graduated from Yale with a degree in comparative literature and French. I'm only modeling to pay the bills while I write my novel and volunteer with this community gardening program. I've gotten a few pieces published, but The New Yorker won't pay rent in New York!"

"Holy shit, are you a real person?" Sean says, teasing in his voice. He and Jake exchange knowing chuckles.

Mark's trying to focus on not throwing up all over Jake's doubtlessly expensive shoes. (This is a weird kind of flu, to have such a sudden onset of symptoms. Also, is feeling like you might cry a flu symptom? It must be.)

"So, Yale, huh, for real?" Sean asks.

"Yeah, go Bulldogs!" He gives Sean and Mark an apologetic smile. "Sorry, it's like I have to say that by law as an alumni and former student athlete."

"Oh god, you've got to be kidding me!" Sean's practically hooting with laughter.

"Yeah," Jake says, reaching out and grabbing Eduardo's hand and shooting him a look of pure adoration. "I rowed crew."

That's when Mark thinks to himself, flu or not, he's going to end this guy.

Re: No Big Deal (10/?) - michmush, 2011-06-18 08:35 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (10/?) - thatsapplejack, 2011-06-18 09:55 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (10/?) - killer_coated, 2011-06-18 09:56 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (10/?) - mowglimoonshado, 2011-06-18 09:56 pm (UTC)(Expand)
OP - (Anonymous), 2011-06-18 10:01 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (10/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-18 11:05 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (10/?) - mathab, 2011-06-18 11:12 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (10/?) - banananonana, 2011-06-18 11:18 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (10/?) - arcadianmaggie, 2011-06-18 11:54 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (10/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-22 03:25 pm (UTC)(Expand)

No Big Deal (11a/?)

(I'm sorry I keep posting tonight! I JUST CAN'T STOP WRITING. Also, I'm traveling for work for a week starting on Tuesday, so I must finish this before then!! Love all y'all and comments. So glad to be bringing the smiles. I think I should have maybe named this A River in Egypt, teehee!)

"Shots! SHOTS!" Mark shouts, pounding on the bar.

Sean jumps. "Dude, what's going on?"

The bartender has rushed over to Mark. "I want four shots of whatever the most alcoholic thing you have is. And bring a bottle of the most expensive thing you have," Mark commands.

Sean's smiling his shark-grin of delight and Jake is bellying up to the bar with a smile, yanking Eduardo along with him.

"Let's do this," Mark says, his voice grim.

"This sounds fun," Jake says sociably, just like the perfect, agreeable, superhuman jerk he is.

"Yippe ki-yay, motherfucker!" Sean crows, slamming his shot back.


"Where am I?" Mark mutters, groggily.

Sean's cheery voice comes from a million miles away. "Good morning, sunshine!"

Mark rubs blearily at his eyes. He searches back through his mind for his last clear memory.

At the club, Sean and Jake have each done about 15 shots and don't seem to be even buzzed. They're currently involved in an in-depth discussion of their favorite sushi restaurants on the upper East side and they don't even Mark and Eduardo at the other end of the bar.

Mark's feeling pretty wasted after three shots. Eduardo must be too, because he's leaning in very closely, whispering into Mark's ear. Which is a totally normal thing a friend would do to be heard over the music in a club. So is the - well, nuzzling. It feels like nuzzling, what Eduardo is doing to his ear. And, well, that's just an inevitable consequence of the leaning in to be heard.

"I should have told you about Jake, I know, but it's only been two months and I didn't want to - ruin - uhm - what he and I have, yeah, that, and I'm sorry I didn't - Mark, God, you smell so good."

Mark's running his hand up and down Eduardo's arm, hot skin-on-skin contact, which is what a good friend would do when another good friend is nuzzling them. "You feel good," Mark responds.

Eduardo's eyes flutter close. "Fuck," he whispers, brokenly, in Mark's ear.

Mark's such a good friend.

"Oh God," Mark mumbles. "What happened?"

No Big Deal (11b/?)

There's bright sunshine filtering in a window and Mark is sprawled across a very expensive couch. "We're at my place," Sean says. "It was closer than the club and I had a doorman to get your sloppy ass in the door."

Sean's sitting across from him, looking morning fresh. Mark wants to kill him.

"What - where is - what happened last night?" Mark stumbles out, reaching out for the bottle of water Sean's placed on the coffee table in front of him.

"I dunno what you and your bestie were doing. You were nuzzling at the bar, but of course you both stopped before it got any better. Then you just made eyes at each other for the rest of the night. But as to what I was up to..." Sean holds out his iPhone to Mark, giving him a broad smirk. "You can see for yourself."

Mark braces himself for the worst but is still not prepared for the first picture he sees.

"Oh no, No, he did not," Mark seethes.

Mark flips through the photos with a simmering anger. Sean and Jake posing. Sean is kissing Jake's cheek. Jake is kissing Sean's kiss. Sean and Jake are kissing each other, jokingly. Sean and Jake are kissing each other, passionately. Sean is sucking on Jake's neck. Jake is licking Sean's neck - Sean and Jake are in a bathroom and that's the top of Jake's head and -

"Sean! What did you do?" Mark is shaking.

"I just proved what a jerk your best friend is dating. So you can get the fuck over all this and move past nuzzling already," Sean shrugs.

"First - we weren't nuzzling. Second - friends nuzzle all the time, I'm pretty sure. Third - I thought you agreed this was no big deal."

Sean smiled. "Bro, it's not a big deal. Which is why you need to get over all this and take care of it. Besides," Sean snatches his phone out of Mark's hand and looks away. Under his breath, he mutters, "besides, I owe you two fuckers a do-over. So, well, here it is."

Mark runs a hand through his hair. "We're just friends," he defends.

"Right, well, OK, you still wanna go with that? Sure. Then look what this fucker did to your friend, Mark. Now what are you going to do about that?"

Mark could feel his blood boiling. Who the fuck does Jake think he is? Some male model with a degree from Yale who does community service and writes compelling prose? Big deal! Cheating on Eduardo? As if - as if - Eduardo wasn't all you'd ever want or need in partner. Cheating on Mark's best friend? Does he have any idea who he is fucking with?

Mark stands up. "Sean," he says, his voice steel, "I need you to get me a laptop and an internet connection. And I need it right now."

Sean rubs his hands together. "That's what I'm talking about."

(So, um, this took a turn I did not see coming. But I thought it would be fun to have Sean be in on it? And - well, Mark's still totally in denial about what he's doing and is going to pretend the rest of it is about just being a ~good friend...so it still counts, right!??!!!!!)

Re: No Big Deal (11b/?) - arcadianmaggie, 2011-06-19 12:04 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (11b/?) - mathab, 2011-06-19 12:07 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (11b/?) - mowglimoonshado, 2011-06-19 12:09 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (11b/?) - accrues, 2011-06-19 12:11 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (11b/?) - themis, 2011-06-19 12:25 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (11b/?) - thatsapplejack, 2011-06-19 12:45 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (11b/?) - cissy_chan, 2011-06-19 01:00 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (11b/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-19 01:00 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (11b/?) - leladancer18, 2011-06-19 01:14 am (UTC)(Expand)
OP - (Anonymous), 2011-06-19 02:01 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (11b/?) - a_jejune_star, 2011-06-19 06:38 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (11b/?) - janonny, 2011-06-19 10:39 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (11b/?) - lynnmathews, 2011-06-19 01:17 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (11b/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-22 03:26 pm (UTC)(Expand)

No Big Deal (12/?)

Mark clicks the laptop closed after running one last hard drive wipe. "There. That's taken care of. Now give me your phone."

He quickly deletes all the pictures of Sean and Jake. "These better be the only copies in existence," he tells Sean sternly, handing him his phone back. "What you did was, well, jerky and creepy and yet also somehow good-hearted and, in its own way, kind."

Sean smiles.

"But no one ever sees those photos, do you understand?"

"Yeah, I only took them to show -"

Mark waves his hand. "Whatever. They're gone and that never happened and you will never speak of it. Got it?"

"Isn't the point for Eduardo to -"

"No, the point is not for Eduardo to feel like shit and think you're a skank that fucked his boyfriend and took pictures of it. I'll - don't worry about the rest of it. I'll take care of this."

Just like any friend would, of course.


Eduardo calls him three days later. "Jake cheated on me. And the FBI came and picked him up! I mean, not for cheating on me. They - they said he was trying to buy anthrax? So, they questioned him for almost two days. His agency let him go and he can't volunteer at the community garden anymore and he might have to move back to live with his parents in Albany because he can't make rent!"

"He cheated on you?" Mark says, going for shocked outrage.

"Did you hear the part about the FBI?"

"Who cares about the FBI, he cheated on you?"

"When he came back after being questioned for, like, 30 hours, he was barely holding it together so he was being sloppy - and - he had a string of hickeys all down his neck, Mark!"

After looking at Sean's pictures, he'd guessed Jake would have quite a string of hickeys. He'd suspected that might even have been Sean's goal. Mark knew if Jake got distracted enough, the hickeys would be unmissable. So, really, as a friend, he owed it to Eduardo to make sure Jake got distracted.

"No way," Mark says.

"And they weren't from me! So, I asked him who they were from and he said, 'Jesus, I just got back from being accused of being a terrorist by the federal government!' and I said, 'Oh, does that make it OK to cheat on me?' and then he said, 'You didn't even notice when I was getting these because you were ALL OVER your so-called best friend at the bar!' and I said, 'I don't even know what you're talking about! I was drunk and, anyway, nothing weird happened and I don't know what you're talking about!' And then he said, 'This is almost more ridiculous than me being investigated by the FBI. I'm out of this. Eduardo, you're a nice guy, but I've never met anyone more in denial in my life.' and what does that even mean, you know? I'm out and I've had boyfriends and just because the FBI somehow found some false emails accusing you of terrorism, how is that my fault and how does it make it OK for you to cheat on me, you know?"

"How completely ridiculous!" Mark says, and this time he means it. How does it work out that these losers keep breaking up with Eduardo? Where do they get off? It's supposed to be the other way around. What's Mark doing wrong?

"Anyway, I don't even care, because he was clearly a skank that cheated on me right in front of me and I was just too drunk to notice and absolutely not distracted by anything else because, as I am sure you remember, nothing weird happened at the bar."

"Yes," Mark says with relief, "he was definitely a skank, so good riddance and nothing weird happened at all."

Mark's not sure what he's happier about: that Jake the Jerk is out of the picture or that he and Eduardo are on the same page.

Either way, at least everything can go back to normal now and normal is just him and Eduardo, being best friends, no big deal.

Re: No Big Deal (12/?) - daisysusan, 2011-06-19 01:40 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (12/?) - leladancer18, 2011-06-19 01:52 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (12/?) - arcadianmaggie, 2011-06-19 02:24 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (12/?) - fioletova, 2011-06-19 02:57 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (12/?) - mauralee88, 2011-06-19 03:04 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (12/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-19 03:33 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (12/?) - distantemotivo, 2011-06-19 05:28 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (12/?) - themis, 2011-06-19 05:30 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (12/?) - l_s_d_me, 2011-06-19 05:58 pm (UTC)(Expand)
OP - (Anonymous), 2011-06-19 10:18 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (12/?) - biodarkness, 2011-06-20 12:32 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (12/?) - thatsapplejack, 2011-06-20 12:54 am (UTC)(Expand)
No Big Deal (13/?) - fairy_tale_echo, 2011-06-20 01:34 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (13/?) - mowglimoonshado, 2011-06-20 02:04 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (13/?) - leladancer18, 2011-06-20 02:49 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (13/?) - chang_hen_ge, 2011-06-20 03:38 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (13/?) - papaya_37, 2011-06-20 05:59 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (13/?) - janonny, 2011-06-20 06:16 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (13/?) - therealw, 2011-06-20 08:16 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (13/?) - mathab, 2011-06-20 09:37 am (UTC)(Expand)
OP - (Anonymous), 2011-06-20 11:53 am (UTC)(Expand)
No Big Deal (14a/?) - fairy_tale_echo, 2011-06-20 03:41 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (14a/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-20 03:54 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (14a/?) - mathab, 2011-06-20 04:01 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (14a/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-20 04:06 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (14a/?) - arcadianmaggie, 2011-06-20 04:11 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (14a/?) - leladancer18, 2011-06-20 04:13 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (14a/?) - reject36, 2011-06-20 04:28 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (14a/?) - mauralee88, 2011-06-20 05:31 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (14a/?) - ms_bnda, 2011-06-20 09:18 pm (UTC)(Expand)
OP - (Anonymous), 2011-06-20 09:53 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (14a/?) - themis, 2011-06-20 10:27 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (14a/?) - papaya_37, 2011-06-20 11:08 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (14a/?) - nlovers, 2011-06-22 03:08 pm (UTC)(Expand)
No Big Deal (14b/?) - fairy_tale_echo, 2011-06-20 10:32 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (14b/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-20 10:49 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (14b/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-20 10:50 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (14b/?) - reject36, 2011-06-20 10:51 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (14b/?) - mathab, 2011-06-20 10:55 pm (UTC)(Expand)
OP - (Anonymous), 2011-06-20 11:06 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (14b/?) - nlovers, 2011-06-22 03:12 pm (UTC)(Expand)
No Big Deal (15/?) - fairy_tale_echo, 2011-06-20 11:08 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (15/?) - leladancer18, 2011-06-20 11:10 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (15/?) - daisysusan, 2011-06-20 11:16 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (15/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-20 11:16 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (15/?) - mathab, 2011-06-20 11:18 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (15/?) - arcadianmaggie, 2011-06-20 11:19 pm (UTC)(Expand)
OP - (Anonymous), 2011-06-21 01:16 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (15/?) - we_reflamingos, 2011-06-21 01:38 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (15/?) - a_jejune_star, 2011-06-21 07:45 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (15/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-22 03:27 pm (UTC)(Expand)
No Big Deal (16/?) - fairy_tale_echo, 2011-06-21 01:54 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (16/?) - accrues, 2011-06-21 02:00 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (16/?) - mowglimoonshado, 2011-06-21 02:20 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (16/?) - leladancer18, 2011-06-21 02:23 am (UTC)(Expand)
OP - (Anonymous), 2011-06-21 02:26 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (16/?) - chang_hen_ge, 2011-06-21 03:41 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (16/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-21 04:31 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (16/?) - janonny, 2011-06-21 05:55 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (16/?) - skyearth85, 2011-06-21 07:34 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (16/?) - a_jejune_star, 2011-06-21 07:52 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (16/?) - mathab, 2011-06-21 09:22 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (16/?) - themis, 2011-06-21 10:00 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (16/?) - reject36, 2011-06-21 10:05 am (UTC)(Expand)
No Big Deal (17/?) - fairy_tale_echo, 2011-06-21 11:15 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (17/?) - accrues, 2011-06-21 11:20 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (17/?) - michmush, 2011-06-21 11:51 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (17/?) - mathab, 2011-06-21 11:59 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (17/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-22 12:03 am (UTC)(Expand)
No Big Deal (18/?) - fairy_tale_echo, 2011-06-22 12:10 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (18/?) - ohnvm, 2011-06-22 12:15 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (18/?) - accrues, 2011-06-22 12:16 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (18/?) - janonny, 2011-06-22 12:20 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (18/?) - mathab, 2011-06-22 12:21 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (18/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-22 12:42 am (UTC)(Expand)
OP - (Anonymous), 2011-06-22 12:56 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (18/?) - nlovers, 2011-06-22 03:08 pm (UTC)(Expand)
No Big Deal (19/?) - fairy_tale_echo, 2011-06-22 12:53 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (19/?) - ohnvm, 2011-06-22 12:56 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (19/?) - mowglimoonshado, 2011-06-22 12:59 am (UTC)(Expand)
OP - (Anonymous), 2011-06-22 01:07 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (19/?) - nlovers, 2011-06-22 03:07 pm (UTC)(Expand)
No Big Deal (20/?) - fairy_tale_echo, 2011-06-22 01:22 am (UTC)(Expand)
OP - (Anonymous), 2011-06-22 01:44 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (20/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-22 02:07 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (20/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-22 03:28 pm (UTC)(Expand)
No Big Deal (21/21) - fairy_tale_echo, 2011-06-22 02:03 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (21/21) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-22 02:14 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (21/21) - leladancer18, 2011-06-22 02:31 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (21/21) - chang_hen_ge, 2011-06-22 03:34 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (21/21) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-22 03:38 am (UTC)(Expand)
OP - (Anonymous), 2011-06-22 04:01 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (21/21) - mathab, 2011-06-22 06:25 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (21/21) - mauralee88, 2011-06-22 07:44 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (21/21) - janonny, 2011-06-22 07:44 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (21/21) - we_reflamingos, 2011-06-22 08:02 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (21/21) - saba1789, 2011-06-22 11:40 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (21/21) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-22 12:00 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (21/21) - nlovers, 2011-06-22 03:07 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (21/21) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-22 03:29 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (21/21) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-22 03:50 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (21/21) - hahahey, 2011-06-25 10:07 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (21/21) - therealw, 2011-06-25 06:04 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (21/21) - (Anonymous), 2011-06-26 07:56 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (21/21) - morgaine22, 2011-06-27 12:43 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (21/21) - emilys_list, 2011-06-27 01:27 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (21/21) - sonjamillicent, 2011-06-27 10:53 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: No Big Deal (21/21) - elizabethjoan, 2011-07-16 05:30 pm (UTC)(Expand)
No Big Deal - COMPLETE - fairy_tale_echo, 2011-07-18 10:53 pm (UTC)(Expand)