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The Social Network: the kink meme!

It's Complicated: But sexy!

zuckonitkinkeme zuckonitkinkeme wrote in tsn_kinkmeme
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sorry about the delay in getting this up! please put all new prompts here.




IMPORTANT: please DO NOT post prompts about any non-public people as part of a prompt. for example: randi zuckerberg is fine as she is a public figure both on the internet and on facebook itself. priscilla chan is NOT as she is not a public figure.

if you're in doubt, please message the mod or leave a comment in the discussion post.

♥ post requests and responses in the comments to this post.
♥ be respectful.
♥ both a pairing/character AND a prompt/kink must be posted.
♥ one pairing/prompt per comment please.
♥ you are encouraged to try and write a prompt for every request you make.
♥ we are slash, femslash, het, three-and-moresomes etc. friendly. (we are even incest friendly what with some of our characters being twins and all...)
♥ no pairing bashing, OK? no need to wank over ships.
♥ long and short fics welcome. multiple responses encouraged!
♥ please try to refrain from saying 'seconded!' as much as possible.
♥ on RPF: Please disclaim that it is RPF, a work of fiction and in no way related to the actual actors/persons/etc. (i wouldn't even try and discourage RPF from this meme ;))


♥ alphabetize pairings/threesomes/moresomes. (e.g. Eduardo/Mark/Sean etc.)
♥ put [RPF] before RPF prompts. (e.g. [RPF] Andrew/Jesse)
♥ for crossover prompts: "[Crossover], The Social Network Character(s)/Other Character(s), [Fandom]" (e.g. [Crossover], Eduardo/Columbus, [Zombieland])
♥ no "!" in pairings, only in descriptions. (e.g. Eduardo/Mark, FacebookCreator!Eduardo, CFO!Mark)
♥ anyone, everyone, no one? Use "Other." (e.g. Sean/Other)
♥ put [GEN] before GEN prompts.


♥ please don't embed. link to images/videos.
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♥ fills can be posted anonymously or not.
♥ fills can be anything: fic, art, vid, fanmix, podfic, etc.
♥ all prompts are open to fills at all times, even if they have been filled in the past or are being currently filled by someone else. multiple fills are positively encouraged; if something appeals to you then do not be put off creating a new fill by the existence of a prior one.
NEW: ♥ PLEASE comment with the first of your fill to the PROMPT and then all future updates as a comment to the FIRST PART of the fill. this makes it easier for both the WIP spreadhseet and for archiving stuff on delicious. it also helps people who are trying to catch up on updates and don't have to look through every fill on the prompt (should it have more than one). thank you.






have fun!

THERE WILL BE UNMARKED SPOILERS. enter at your own risk! :D


i know you guys are enjoying this meme and i appreciate that but please can you put the SUBJECT HEADER on your prompt. you would REALLY be helping me out if you could do that. it just saves time for me when i'm trying to tag everything in delicious.

AND PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT repost prompts from parts three, four, five or six over here again. the delicious is around for people to find prompts they may not have already seen. (prompts for parts one and two are now up for reposting.)



Eduardo/Sean, worst date ever

ok, there are so many unfilled Sean/Eduardo prompts already but whatever I need this to live.

Sean and Eduardo's first date is THE WORST DATE EVER. When Sean had first realized he was even interested in Eduardo he'd been all kill me now, fuck my life, because he knew it would such hard work even to get Wardo to agree to give him one shot... and then now he is and everything goes wrong. EVERYTHING.

I don't know... Ex-business partners, ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, ex-drug dealers? Waiter from hell? Almost hit by a car? Wallet stolen? Running into Dustin? Chris? MARK? (somehow this is even funnier to me if it's during the depositions and then they run into some of the lawyers for that extra bit of awkward lololol, but that doesn't really matter -- set during the film or after the film, I don't really care.)

The horror never ends. But just when Sean's ready to throw in the towel, it turns out somehow in that mess he's managed to win Eduardo over.

Re: Eduardo/Sean, worst date ever

omgomgomg at the end of the night they get held up at gunpoint and mugged, and Sean is such a smooth operator/badass Eduardo is all 'i wanna blow you in this alley you sexy beast' and then there is FEELINGS OF AWESOME.

Re: Eduardo/Sean, worst date ever

A+ Sean talking himself out of a mugging is pure hilarity.

ahahaha they run into Dustin, who's like, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" and Eduardo's like "... nothing" at the same time Sean's all, "I'm wearing him down to fall desperately in love with me."
Eduardo: "what?"
Sean: "You definitely shouldn't tell Mark, in case he, you know, gets the the impression that Wardo's taken now. Not that Mark would think he is. Unless you told him that. In detail."
Eduardo: "Sean."
Sean: "I could give you details."
Dustin: "I'm just going to walk away and forget any of this happened."

I want someone to write this fill so bad. DDDDDDD:

Re: Eduardo/Sean, worst date ever (1/?)

hahahahah the hypothetical scenarios are so fucking hilarious. silviakundera i adore you. anyway idk exactly where this is going but DEFINITELY INTO AWKWARD-DATE-TERRITORY. oh and i hope it's cool that they are already fucking in this one? idkk


"Hey," Sean says softly. Eduardo stirs in front of him, yawns, rubs a hand across his eyes. Sean scratches his fingernails gently down Eduardo's side, leans forward and kisses his neck, inhaling.

"What's up," Eduardo mumbles, blinking heavy-lidded at him. Sean pulls back, pillows his head on his arm, stares at him.

"Wardo, do you, uh- wanna go out, tomorrow night?"

Eduardo deigns to answer in favor of yawning so wide Sean can see his molars. He closes his mouth, waves a hand at Sean, blinking away yawn-induced tears.

"Sorry," he says. "Uh- like, go to my place?"

"No, like, go to a restaurant. And eat food. Together."

Eduardo's eyes sharpen, he lifts his head slightly.

"Why the hell would we do that?"

"Uh, because I asked you to? You said you really liked 158, we could go there-"

"I went there with a client," Eduardo says, frowning. "I- we can't- why would we go out to dinner? We don't date, Sean-"

"Yeah, and people don't fly, but there're three companies that are working on that, so," he makes a face, all sorry-I've-outmaneuvered-you, and Eduardo narrows his eyes skeptically.

"I mean- if we go out, Sean- Christ, when I was there last month I saw Mark's fucking lawyer, I mean- it's a place to be seen."

"And you don't want to be seen."

"Not with you!"

Sean looks away, nodding, gritting his teeth. Well, that stings.

Eduardo turns onto his back, says softly, "I just mean- we're just- fucking, Sean. We're enemies with benefits. We can't-"

"I'm sorry, but what? Enemies with benefits? Christ, Eduardo, you really think your life is a soap opera, don't you?"

"No, I don't," Eduardo says indignantly up at the ceiling. "I'm just- I don't date. The last person I dated was- well. You know."

"And now you're in the middle of a multimillion dollar lawsuit, Wardo, I get it, you're all jaded and shit, but come on. I'll buy. I'll let you get apps!"

Eduardo wrinkles his too-big nose confusedly. "Apps?"

"Appetizers, you exchange student. Come on, come out with me."

"I'm not an exchange student," Eduardo grumbles softly. "I moved here when I was thirteen, Sean-"

"Come out with me."

"And, honestly, I'm more well-versed in American culture than you, asshole, I went to fucking Harvard-"

"Come out with me."

"Jesus, Sean, just- it could jeopardize the lawsuit, you know-"

"Bullshit," Sean says, sliding a hand up Eduardo's stomach. "Wanna know something?"

He noses at Eduardo's cheek, sucks gently on his bottom lip, pulls away.

"What," Eduardo says breathlessly, blinking up at him, face determinedly disapproving.

"I don't give one flying fuck-" he puts a thumb on Eduardo's nipple and Eduardo shivers. "-about the lawsuit."

Eduardo kisses him, quick and needy, and Sean rolls on top of him the way Eduardo likes, feels his pulse hammer, the way he gasps into Sean's mouth.

He's grinding down slowly, a full body movement, onto Eduardo's hips, dragging his bare cock against Eduardo's thigh, and Eduardo is nipping at his jaw, pliant and wanting under him, breath fast and unsteady, thighs spreading.

"Condom," Eduardo murmurs, putting his head back, exposing his long throat, and Sean says close to his ear, "Come out with me."

"Fuck me."

"Come out with me-"

"Fuck, fine. Fine. Tomorrow night."

"158. I want those fucking scallops you talked about-"

"Whatever, Sean, just-" his voice drops to a whisper. "Fuck me into the fucking mattress and stop fucking talking."

Sean shrugs, grinning, and obliges.

Re: Eduardo/Sean, worst date ever (1/?)

Poor Sean, he seems already more invested here than Eduardo - considering how Eduardo's last relationship blew up though it's understandable he is trying to not let things get serious.

Re: Eduardo/Sean, worst date ever (1/?)


I just screeched with glee. which probably scared someone. AND I DO NOT CARE.

They are just too adorable and hilarious here, I can't even take it. I want to quote every bit. <33333

We don't date, Sean-"
"Yeah, and people don't fly, but there're three companies that are working on that, so," he makes a face, all sorry-I've-outmaneuvered-you, and Eduardo narrows his eyes skeptically.


We're enemies with benefits. We can't-"
"I'm sorry, but what? Enemies with benefits? Christ, Eduardo, you really think your life is a soap opera, don't you?"

omg, I love them SO MUCH. Eduardo's protests are perfect and so are Sean's responses. I'm just dying over here.

and ahahaha the exchange student bit? also hysterical!

I am so fucking excited for this fill. It's all sexy and funny and awwww Sean wants to make it more than hot sex, and I have a story kink for fics where casual fucking develops feeeeelings. ♥

Re: Eduardo/Sean, worst date ever (1/?)

I am loving this!!

Re: Eduardo/Sean, worst date ever (1/?)

Adding this to my WIP bookmarks. I love their banter already. UNDIGNIFIED SQUEE.

Re: Eduardo/Sean, worst date ever (2/?)

ah, it's so much fun to write fluffy eduardo/sean banter! usually they have angst and feeeelings.
also i have no clue what i'm talking about with the business stuff, so ignore it, haha


The next night, Sean shows up ten minutes early, straightening his cufflinks on the way up, running a nervous hand through his hair.

Eduardo opens the door after, like, ten increasingly-loud knocks, and he's wearing a half-buttoned white shirt and his black briefs.

"You are not gonna distract me from going out," Sean announces, smirking lasciviously, and Eduardo responds with, "We have to fucking sell. Tonight. Anne, listen to me, I don't give a fuck what the analyst is saying, I have been working with this shit since I was nineteen-"

Sean stands there, dumbfounded, and Eduardo looks at him apologetically, holds up a finger, and Sean finally notices the Blackberry pressed to his ear.

Eduardo steps inside, beckons to him, says hotly, "It's going to drop in six hours. Well, I don't give a shit if it's four AM there, wake him up."

Sean snorts to himself, leans against Eduardo's kitchen counter, watches him.

Eduardo's laptop is open on the kitchen table, papers spread out over the entire surface. He has a pen in his hand that he's gesturing with absently, drawing circles in the air.

He's flushed, pacing around his apartment with his skinny giraffe legs bare but his hair perfectly coiffed, and Sean grins to himself, fondly.

"Call him again," Eduardo says, chewing on his fingernail. "Anne. This is big, and I- no one's going to give a fuck how I know! Anyone with half a fucking brain and the Weather Channel would fucking know. Sorry."

He listens for a second, eyes sharp.

"I said I'm- Anne, come on. Yes. Yeah. Yes, that was uncalled for."

Sean laughs and Eduardo catches him, raises a middle finger, eyes still intent on whatever poor, put-upon Anne is saying.

"You'll call him? Okay. Okay, 'cause this is gone in the morning, Anne, and I don't want- yeah. Alright. Yeah, give him my number. Mm-hmm. I'll pull up the proposal and send it to you. Okay. Thanks, Anne. Sorry again-"

He yanks the phone away from his ear.

"She hung up," he mutters, indignantly.

"Can't imagine why," Sean says lightly, grinning, and Eduardo looks up at him, face a curious mix of pissed-off and apologetic.

"Sean, I have to just finish this up, I'm sorry, like - grab a drink if you want- oh, shit."

His phone is vibrating in his hand, and he puts it to his ear.

"Eduardo Saverin. Yes, thank you so much for calling-"

Sean turns away, rummages in Eduardo's fridge for a beer (he has a half-empty six-pack of Smirnoff Ice, which Sean is going to give him so much shit for) and turns back, surveys the apartment.

In the three months they've been fucking around, they've gone to Eduardo's maybe three times.

Sean's not sure why. Eduardo's pretty private- closed off, in a way he wasn't before the dilution, so maybe that's it.

He shrugs to himself, takes a pull of his beer, and ambles out of the kitchen, into Eduardo's bedroom.

It's small, neat, with a queen-sized bed and a crisp white comforter. It looks hastily made and sloppy, with one gray pillow peeking out from under the duvet, another propped up against the bed.

Sean flops down, leans his head against the wall, and sighs.

After a few minutes, he reaches over and sets down his beer, opens Eduardo's bedside drawer.

Ah-ha. A pack of condoms, a bottle of lube, and a smaller bottle that reads Sweet Almond Massage Oil, which, holy fuck, who knew Eduardo was so incredibly cheesy?

Sean uncaps it; sniffs. It's pretty nice, actually. He closes his eyes, indulges in a brief but extremely satisfying fantasy about Eduardo naked with his bronze thighs splayed, fingering himself, teeth tugging on that full bottom lip, gasping-

He opens his eyes again, puts a palm over his half-hard dick, sits up.

No distractions. They're going on a fucking date.

Plus, it's not like Eduardo hasn't been putting out already, so Sean'll probably get to come later tonight.

Re: Eduardo/Sean, worst date ever (3/?)

He slides the drawer shut, stands up, peeks outside. Eduardo is hunched over his computer, phone pressed between his shoulder and ear, typing one-handed and saying, "Yeah- yes. Yeah, but how much of that is going to be net?"

Sean sighs, steps back into Eduardo's room, wanders over to his desk and sits down.

It's polished oak, with a dark glossy stain, and there are a couple yellow legal pads stacked on the righthand side. Sean picks one up, puts it down uninterestedly, huffing out a long breath.

The drawers are boring too.

Pens. Scissor. Stapler. Blank paper.

Except- in the top drawer on the right side, under yet another legal pad, Sean finds a picture, a faded 4 x 6.

He turns it upright, grins to himself.

It's Eduardo, or at least, he thinks it's Eduardo. It's hard to tell, because the kid in the picture is probably, at most, five years old. He's wearing a white polo tucked into khaki shorts and he has his skinny arms flung around a dark-eyed woman's neck.

He's grinning so hard it makes Sean's cheeks ache to look at, hair a mess of curls spilling down over his ears.

His eyes are all Wardo's, though, big and dark brown and expressive, crinkled up the way they get sometimes when Sean makes a joke and Eduardo's taken off-guard enough to actually laugh.

Sean bites his bottom lip, turns it over.

1987, Fortaleza is scrawled in dark thick pen on the back.

He digs further in the drawer, comes up with another picture and a wrinkled piece of unlined paper.

Meu Eduardo, it says in looping script, at the top, and continues down the page. Sean squints at it, only realizes after a second that it's in another language. Portuguese, probably.

Re: Eduardo/Sean, worst date ever (4/?)

He puts it down, peers at the picture. It's the same kid- Eduardo, he's having trouble accepting that the little kid is actually Eduardo- and he's hanging onto a girl's hand, maybe two or three years older than him, who's wearing a knee-length navy collared dress and an annoyed expression.

Eduardo isn't grinning in this one, he's pouting, puppy-eyed, head nuzzled into the girl's arm, a black knapsack hanging off one arm.

Sean laughs.

Eduardo e Rosa, 1988, São Paulo it reads. Sean turns it back over, looks at it for a second more.

Eduardo was fucking adorable. Round cheeks, that distinctive nose, those eyes- generous features, helplessly sweet.

Sean leans back, grins stupidly into empty air, and hears, "Sean?"

He jerks up, flushing guiltily, and Eduardo says, eyes narrowed, "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," Sean says hastily, and Eduardo walks toward him, Blackberry still in hand, picks up the picture. His cheeks are going red.

"Where did you-"

"I was bored, alright?"

Eduardo purses his lips, shoves the pictures and the letter into the desk drawer, says, "Sorry about the phone call-"

"You were so cute," Sean says, over him, and Eduardo gapes at him, flushed all the way down his neck, eyes narrowed.

"You shouldn't have been looking through my things-"

"Who's the letter from? Your mom?"

Eduardo glares at him, and Sean laughs, spins around in the desk chair to face him, tugging at Eduardo's hand.

"You were such a mama's boy, weren't you," he says smugly. Eduardo huffs out an annoyed breath.

"No," he says. "I wasn't-"

"Oh, come on. You were."

Eduardo rolls his eyes, corner of his mouth curling up.

"I was not," he repeats quietly, but he lets Sean tug him onto his lap, thighs pressed to the outsides of Sean's.

Sean kisses him, gently. Eduardo kisses back, reserved and soft, then pulls away.

Sean breathes into his collarbone, cups his ass with one hand, squeezes.

"How's business?"

Eduardo heaves a sigh.

"Fine. I'm sorry that it- took so long. If you want to stay in, I have a frozen pizza-"

"Oh, no, no, nice try, Wardo, but hell no. We're going out."

Eduardo grins into Sean's neck, says, muffled, "Damn," and Sean rubs a slow hand up his back.

"Now, go put some clothes on," he says. "Fuck, I never thought I would tell someone that."

Eduardo laughs, slides off Sean's lap and walks into the bathroom. Sean watches his ass, shamelessly, biting his lip in a slow grin.

"When's the reservation?" Eduardo calls, water running beneath his voice.

Sean looks up, wide-eyed.

"Um. Reservation?"

Eduardo pokes his head out of the bathroom, a toothbrush sticking out of his mouth.

"You serious?" he says, garbled, and Sean says, "Fuck it, I'll get us in. I'm Sean Parker."

"That name carries so much less weight than you think," Eduardo says dubiously, but he turns back into the bathroom, spits in the sink.

Sean yanks out his phone, helplessly. But, duh, it's fucking 158. It only opened six months ago, it's probably booked until fucking Labor Day.


Okay, minor setback.

Doesn't mean this still won't be the most amazing date Eduardo's ever been on. Not at all.

Re: Eduardo/Sean, worst date ever (4/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-08-20 02:43 am (UTC)(Expand)

Re: Eduardo/Sean, worst date ever (5/?)

ahh, this is going to head into flufffff after a while, is OP cool with that?? THIS IS SUCH A GOOD ANTIDOTE TO ANGSTY EDUARDO/SEAN (not that i'm, uh, writing anything like that right now, or whatever.. :D)

Eduardo buckles his seatbelt fussily, peering down at the strap, and Sean says, "I bet we'll get in."

"I don't think so-"

"Whatever, Debbie Downer. It'll work out."

Eduardo leans back, sighs.

"Just- you know, I'm- I'm basically a Silicon Valley pariah, Sean, just for your information."

"The fuck does that even mean?" Sean asks curiously, merging onto the freeway.

"I mean- I'm suing Mark Zuckerberg. The darling of Palo Alto. I might as well have a fucking target pinned on my forehead."

Sean looks up- downtown Palo Alto, quarter mile- and looks at Eduardo.

"You're crazy."

"I'm right."

"You're paranoid-"

"Oh! I'm paranoid! That is a fucking good one, Sean, ha, I'm laughing over here-"

"Fine, as a fellow paranoid, I'm telling you, you're being paranoid. No one cares about lawsuits, they're too busy creating."

"While I'm too busy knocking stuff down," Eduardo says, soft and bitter. "Huh."

Sean swallows.

"No lawsuit talk," he says, quietly. Eduardo huffs out a petulant sigh, stares out the window.

They spend the rest of the drive in silence, and when Eduardo steps out of the car, Sean tossing the keys to the valet, Sean stares grimly at the restaurant.

There's a crowd of impeccably dressed chattering people outside.

"There's no way we're getting in," Eduardo says skeptically, and Sean puts a hand on the small of his back, escorts him inside.

"Courage, Wardo," he says into Eduardo's ear, but yeah- there's no fucking way.

The hostess actually laughs when Sean says, grudgingly, "No, we don't have a reservation."

"I'm sorry, sweetie, but this place has been full for months," she says patronizingly. "Sean who?"

From behind him, he hears Eduardo snort.

"Whatever, I heard the scallops are terrible," he retorts pettily, and Eduardo says, "Can we just get a drink? I need a drink, Sean."

"Seats are available at the bar, but you can't order off the menu," the hostess says tightly, and Sean resists making a face at her and lets Eduardo tug him up to the long dark metal bar.

Re: Eduardo/Sean, worst date ever (6/?)

Eduardo immediately grabs a drink menu, and accordingly doesn't see Sean pull out his chair.

He stumbles back, shrieks, "Fuck!" and Sean catches him by the arm before he can trip and fall flat on his back.

"Jesus, you okay?"

"What the fuck was that for?" Eduardo snaps, cheeks flushed. "Jesus Christ."

"Sorry, I- it was an accident, Wardo-"

"Whatever," Eduardo says darkly, yanking his chair up to the bar and signaling for the bartender. "Just buy me a fucking drink. You're the one who wanted to take me out."

Sean rolls his eyes, orders Eduardo a vodka tonic.

"Make it a double," Eduardo adds, leaning forward. Sean puts a hand on his arm.

"You sure you're okay, Eduardo?"

"I'm fine," Eduardo says, voice still sharp, shrugging him off. Sean pulls back, orders a scotch, sighing.

Eduardo sucks down his vodka tonic, pushing the straw away with one finger and drinking straight from the glass, throat working.

Sean watches him, absently accepting his scotch, and Eduardo takes it from his hand and drinks half of it, fast.

"Hey, Jesus-"

Eduardo shakes him off, pushes the glass back at Sean after another long swallow.

"Nice," Sean mutters, taking a sip. Eduardo leans forward, calls, "Another, please."

Sean leans back. Okay. Watching Eduardo get wasted on an empty stomach was not exactly in his plans for the perfect date. It was more like- eat dinner, walk hand in fucking hand down the sidewalk, and kiss on the sidewalk.

And then, of course, he'd take Eduardo home and fuck his goddamn brains out.

That goes without saying.

But Eduardo is breathing heavily after chugging half of his second drink, and he reaches out a hand, balances himself on the bar, and Sean just has to roll with the punches.

"You want to get dinner somewhere else, Eduardo?" he asks, and Eduardo says, "I just need another drink, Sean."

"You always get wasted on dates?" Sean mutters quietly, and Eduardo ignores him, watches avidly as the bartender pours out a clear shot.

Throws it back, heaves out a loud breath.

"Fu-uck," he says, quietly, and then, to Sean, "Take one with me?"

Sean's not counting or anything, but he's pretty sure Eduardo just had, like, five shots of alcohol in the space of ten minutes.

"I don't know, I think I'm good, actually," he says, and Eduardo jostles him with his shoulder, says, "Live a little, grandpa," and pushes the shot glass towards him.

Sean exhales, clinks his shot glass against Eduardo's, and takes it.

"The fuck is that?" he says, lips pursed, throat burning.

"151," Eduardo says casually, and Sean sputters.

"You're taking shots of 151? Jesus, Wardo-"

"I'm fine," Eduardo assures him, chasing his shot with the entirety of a vodka tonic, and Sean realizes rationality is not going to work here.

He watches Eduardo chew on an ice cube, blinking heavily, and then-


Waiting at the hostess stand, next to a dark-haired man with glasses-

It's Eduardo's lawyer. Gretchen whatever. Sean remembers, because she asked him a shitload of fucking irritating questions just two weeks ago.

She exhales impatiently as the hostess checks her list, turns toward the bar, and Sean turns away fast, heart pounding, hunches his shoulders.

"What's wrong?" Eduardo asks, and yep, that is a definite slur creeping into his voice.


"You're being weird," Eduardo says suspiciously, and he turns to look where Sean was looking, says after a second, "Oh, shit."

"Yeah," Sean says, putting a hand over his eyes. "Is she coming over here?"



Sean lifts his head, and sees how pale Eduardo's face goes, how unsteady he looks. He resists the urge to put a hand on his knee, instead watches him say, "Gretchen!"

Sean stares fixedly at the multicolored bottles on the wall, backlit by a warm amber light.

"Having a drink?" Gretchen asks, voice friendly, but it sharpens a little as she says, "Or four?"

Because, of course the fucking bartender sucks, and there are shotglasses littering the bar in front of them, two empty vodka-tonics carefully lined up.

Eduardo laughs, and wow, he is on the fast track to smashed.

"Hard week, you know," he quips, thickly, and then, casually, like some fucking society lady, "Have you met Sean?"

Re: Eduardo/Sean, worst date ever (7/?)

Sean's ears flush, he turns around, pasting a smile on his face.

"Have I met Sean?" Gretchen says coolly, eyes narrowing. "Sean Parker. Of course I have, Eduardo, we deposed him-"

"Oh, of course," Eduardo says, nodding heavily. Sean waves sheepishly, head starting to spin just slightly. 151 is fucking deadly.

"The question is, what are you doing here with him?"

"I -" Sean starts, and Eduardo cuts him off, gesturing loosely with one hand.

"You don't have to ask aaany more questions, Gretchen, because you are off- the- clock. You go have a wonderful dinner. I hear the scallops are delectable."

"Eduardo-" she leans in, hisses, "Did he give you something?"

"Excuse me?" Sean asks, incensed, and Eduardo puts a hand on Gretchen's cheek. Her face is frozen in awkward horror.

"He did not, my dear lawyer," he says, grinning. "We are on a date. Because Sean is too much of a girl to handle being benefits with enemies. Enemies with- with benefits. If you will excuse me, I have a shot to take."

He turns away, and Sean shrugs helplessly at Gretchen. She's staring at them, eyebrows raised more than Sean thought humanly possible.

"Sorry," Sean offers, and she turns away.

Eduardo is signaling for a shot, and Sean drags his hand down.

"What the fuck, Eduardo?"

"What?" he says, brow furrowed.

"You just- no. No more shots for you."

Eduardo pouts, and then grins, eyes lighting up. He's bipolar, apparently. Great.

"You know what would be the best idea?" he whispers, leaning closer to Sean. Sean steadies him on his chair, says, "What."

"A bread basket. At the bar."

Sean shakes his head at him, laughing despite himself.

"Don't laugh at me!"

"I'm not, Wardo," Sean says, schooling his face into a serious expression. "A breadbasket for the bar, yeah, I can see the appeal-"

"Shh!" Eduardo puts a finger over his mouth. His hand is warm, scented like lime and vodka. "Sean, no talking about it until I get a patent."

"You're gonna patent this idea?"

"Definitely," Eduardo says, nodding, staring off into the distance. "Here's the- appeal, Sean. One. Bread is delicious, and classic. And- classy. Two. Bread is- nutritious! If it doesn't have refined white flours, which are bad, Sean. I don't eat those, Sean."

"Okay," Sean says patiently. "Delicious and nutritious, huh?"

"And three!" Eduardo says. "Three. Bread helps to soak up- the- the-"

He breaks off, drawing lines on the countertop with his finger, staring intently down at the metal surface.

"The alcohol?" Sean suggests, and Eduardo looks back up, grinning.

"Yes! Yeah. The alcohol. Because the thing that I forgot to tell you is that I haven't eaten since breakfast, Sean, shh. Don't tell anyone."

Sean huffs out an exasperated breath. "Christ, Wardo, no wonder you're wasted-"

"I was really busy! And my apartment has no food. What am I supposed to do, make lunch out of, like, a- a- fucking- cocktail olive with some salsa on top? That would be disgusting."

Sean curls an arm around his waist, standing up next to him. "Let's go get some food, okay, Wardo?"

"Like pizza?"

"Sure, yeah, like pizza."

Eduardo nods, slowly, and he lifts his head, stares unblinking at Sean, inches from his shoulder.

Sean widens his eyes. "Um. Eduardo?"

Eduardo nods, Pavlovian, in response to his name, but says nothing.

"Wardo, let's go, alright?"

Eduardo nods again, and then puts a hand on the back of Sean's neck, pulls him into a kiss.

Re: Eduardo/Sean, worst date ever (8/?)

Sean sputters for breath, and Eduardo sucks messily at his lips, breath practically alcoholic enough to knock Sean out.

"I just wanna fuck," he says, low in his throat, and Sean tries to pull away, but Eduardo keeps him there with a surprisingly strong hand, slides off his chair and pushes Sean against the bar, settling his thighs on either side of Sean's.

"Fuck me," he murmurs. "God, don't you want to? Don't you wanna fuck, Sean?"

"Maybe not in public, Wardo-" Sean says, gasping for air. Eduardo ignores him, grinds his body slow against Sean's, practically biting his neck. Sean winces.

"Excuse me!" he hears from over Eduardo's shoulder, and he yanks away to see the hostess from before, eyes narrowed.

"You've been asked to leave," she says, coldly. "Please vacate the restaurant immediately."

"What?" Eduardo says, puppy-eyed again. "Why?"

Sean rolls his eyes, grabs Eduardo's hand and drags him towards the exit, slapping a couple bills on the bar.

He doesn't even turn to see if Gretchen is watching, but judging by their luck, she probably is.



Eduardo is seriously stumbling now, and Sean wraps an arm around his shoulders to keep him upright.

"Here!" Eduardo calls, pointing at a shitty pizza joint on the corner. "Is here okay, Sean?"

Sean grits his teeth.

He is wearing his fucking nicest cufflinks, and cologne he bought specifically for this night, so- yeah, no, fucking Antonio's Hot Fresh Fast Pizza! is not really okay.

But Eduardo is hanging onto his arm, and Sean has been around a lot of drunk people. He knows Eduardo needs carbs. Serious, greasy, two dollar carbs.

He nods, grudgingly, helps Eduardo inside.

Eduardo goes right up the counter and says, "Two slices of vegetarian, please," and Sean is momentarily impressed by how non-drunk he sounds.

He turns away, and beckons for Sean, completely ignoring the surly teenage worker as he says, "That's three fifty."

Sean says, unwillingly, "Two slices of pepperoni. Yeah, paying together."

Christ, he doesn't even have that much cash. He was expecting to pay the exorbitantly expensive bill at 158 with his black AmEx, not fork over a crumpled twenty to a fucking pizza place.

Sean huffs out a sigh, nodding as the kid drops change into his hand, and turns to look at Eduardo.

He's sitting at a high table, scrolling with drunken focus through his Blackberry. His shirt is undone a few buttons, there is a sheen of sweat high on his forehead.

Sean laughs, despite himself.

Fucking adorable drunk idiot.

He puts extra parmesan on his slices, brings them over to Eduardo.

The grin Eduardo gives him as he slides the paper plate over to him doesn't make up for shit.

But Sean grins back anyway, laughs when Eduardo carefully puts a napkin over the greasy slice, wrinkling his nose at the oil that soaks through, and-

Well, fuck, it's not that bad. It's still a date, there's still food, and drinks, kind of, and Eduardo seems happy enough.

Plus, really, what else could go wrong?

Re: Eduardo/Sean, worst date ever (8/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-08-20 06:14 pm (UTC)(Expand)
author anon - (Anonymous), 2011-08-21 12:09 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: author anon - kiyota711, 2011-08-23 09:25 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: Eduardo/Sean, worst date ever (8/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-08-21 07:57 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: Eduardo/Sean, worst date ever (8/?) - (Anonymous), 2011-08-21 10:25 pm (UTC)(Expand)