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The Social Network: the kink meme!

It's Complicated: But sexy!

zuckonitkinkeme zuckonitkinkeme wrote in tsn_kinkmeme
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sorry about the delay in getting this up! please put all new prompts here.




IMPORTANT: please DO NOT post prompts about any non-public people as part of a prompt. for example: randi zuckerberg is fine as she is a public figure both on the internet and on facebook itself. priscilla chan is NOT as she is not a public figure.

if you're in doubt, please message the mod or leave a comment in the discussion post.

♥ post requests and responses in the comments to this post.
♥ be respectful.
♥ both a pairing/character AND a prompt/kink must be posted.
♥ one pairing/prompt per comment please.
♥ you are encouraged to try and write a prompt for every request you make.
♥ we are slash, femslash, het, three-and-moresomes etc. friendly. (we are even incest friendly what with some of our characters being twins and all...)
♥ no pairing bashing, OK? no need to wank over ships.
♥ long and short fics welcome. multiple responses encouraged!
♥ please try to refrain from saying 'seconded!' as much as possible.
♥ on RPF: Please disclaim that it is RPF, a work of fiction and in no way related to the actual actors/persons/etc. (i wouldn't even try and discourage RPF from this meme ;))


♥ alphabetize pairings/threesomes/moresomes. (e.g. Eduardo/Mark/Sean etc.)
♥ put [RPF] before RPF prompts. (e.g. [RPF] Andrew/Jesse)
♥ for crossover prompts: "[Crossover], The Social Network Character(s)/Other Character(s), [Fandom]" (e.g. [Crossover], Eduardo/Columbus, [Zombieland])
♥ no "!" in pairings, only in descriptions. (e.g. Eduardo/Mark, FacebookCreator!Eduardo, CFO!Mark)
♥ anyone, everyone, no one? Use "Other." (e.g. Sean/Other)
♥ put [GEN] before GEN prompts.


♥ please don't embed. link to images/videos.
♥ no locked material. this includes communities, even if membership is open.
♥ fills can be posted anonymously or not.
♥ fills can be anything: fic, art, vid, fanmix, podfic, etc.
♥ all prompts are open to fills at all times, even if they have been filled in the past or are being currently filled by someone else. multiple fills are positively encouraged; if something appeals to you then do not be put off creating a new fill by the existence of a prior one.
NEW: ♥ PLEASE comment with the first of your fill to the PROMPT and then all future updates as a comment to the FIRST PART of the fill. this makes it easier for both the WIP spreadhseet and for archiving stuff on delicious. it also helps people who are trying to catch up on updates and don't have to look through every fill on the prompt (should it have more than one). thank you.






have fun!

THERE WILL BE UNMARKED SPOILERS. enter at your own risk! :D


i know you guys are enjoying this meme and i appreciate that but please can you put the SUBJECT HEADER on your prompt. you would REALLY be helping me out if you could do that. it just saves time for me when i'm trying to tag everything in delicious.

AND PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT repost prompts from parts three, four, five or six over here again. the delicious is around for people to find prompts they may not have already seen. (prompts for parts one and two are now up for reposting.)



Eduardo/Mark, The Princess Diaries AU

Mark leads a perfectly normal life. Seriously, he even has a best friend (not that he's ever going to admit this to Dustin, he'd gloat for months) and he's happy as long as there's a computer nearby. He even has a hopeless crush on Eduardo (who probably isn't even aware of Mark's existence, because he's everything Mark's not - popular, a member of the debate team and student council and whatnot). Just your average teenager, right?

And then Mark is informed he's the sole heir to the throne of Genovia and the normalcy goes out of the window faster than he could say "code".

Re: Eduardo/Mark, The Princess Diaries AU


one question though, are you opposed to sean as josh and wardo as michael?

Re: Eduardo/Mark, The Princess Diaries AU

OP here.

Not at all! Sean as Josh is perfect, ahaha :D And really, I'm not opposed to anything as long as there's a happy ending for Mark/Wardo ;)

FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 1/?

rahhh i love this movie and i couldn't pass this up. this part is short and nothing of value really happens but i wanted to get something up before i go to bed. :3

Mark is invisible.

He’s okay with it. The whole pushing people away business? It’s kind of his thing. He doesn’t need friends. He has Dustin (though he’d never tell him that, because Dustin is Dustin and telling him would probably involve fist pumping and victory dancing and just, no) and maybe Chris and that Eduardo kid that always hangs around them, and he doesn’t need anyone else. Besides, this is college and nobody cares about popularity anymore, right?

Mark is invisible and he is content with it.


Dustin wakes Mark up on Thursday morning by jumping on the foot of his bed like he’s a nine-year-old instead of a nineteen-year-old supposed adult. “Mark! Mark! Come on, Mark, wake up, it’s a beautiful day! The sun is… well, it’s probably shining, but I wouldn’t know because you won’t wake up and go outside with me! Maaark! Mark Wahlberg! Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch!”

Mark seriously wonders how someone with the mentality of an elementary-aged child got into Harvard. He shifts his head and grumbles into his pillow, “I will wake up if you shut up.”

“Hate on me, hater,” Dustin sasses, jumping down from the bed and waggling his hips while he leaves Mark’s room. “We’re gonna be late to the debate, though,” he adds before closing the door.

This wakes Mark up, and he scrambles to look at the clock by his bed to verify that, yes, it is 9:49, and yes, he does have to sit in on a debate club meeting for his Government 30 class in eleven minutes. Shit. He springs up and fumbles for the hoodie precariously slung over his computer chair and pulls it over the t-shirt he wore to bed while he slips on a pair of flip-flops and gives zero fucks that he’s still wearing the basketball shorts he uses as PJ bottoms. Dustin puts a hand over his mouth so he doesn’t laugh out any chunks of the granola bar he’s haphazardly crammed into his mouth when Mark steps into the suite’s living room.

“You look like shit,” Dustin tells him, though with his full mouth, it comes out sounding more like muffled nonsense than anything else. Mark flashes his middle finger only half-jokingly and jerks his head toward the door to signal that they need to go. Dustin raises his hands like he’s been accused of something. “Alright, alright, we’re going, we’re going.”

Outside of Kirkland House is a floofy-haired figure in black pants and a blazer. He stands up and raises a hand in greeting when Mark and Dustin bound down the stairs.

“War-do!” Dustin responds, waving an arm in the air. “What up, man?”

Eduardo shrugs, his ever-present shy smirk creeping up on his tan face. “I’ve got econ in fifteen minutes and it’s on the way to your debate. Figured I’d walk with you, if that’s alright.”

Dustin nods and Mark just shrugs because he’s too tired to be anything but indifferent. He’s quiet for most of the brisk walk, listening to Dustin describe this “totally hot chick” from a party at Lowell who was “like, seriously into me, Wardo”, and Eduardo waving it off by insisting that Dustin’s going to end up with Chris in the end.

Mark’s brought back to the world of the living when he feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to see Eduardo smiling at him.

“I swear you’re sleepwalking half the time, Mark,” he chuckles. “I’ll see you later, yeah?”

Mark shrugs yet again. “Sure. I guess. Yeah.” This seems to be enough for Eduardo, who smiles earnestly and peels off from the pair, disappearing into the hall down the pathway to the left. It’s so Eduardo, always smiling that stupid smile of his and being all handsy when he’s been made fully aware that Mark is not fond of being touched. Mark wants to punch him sometimes.

Dustin’s got some sort of knowing look on his face when he and Mark continue to fast-walk their way to the debate. Mark ignores it, but Dustin isn’t quite one to keep his thoughts to himself.

“You realize Wardo hits on you, like, all the time.”

Mark adds Dustin to the list of people he wants to punch, not that he isn’t already on it. Dustin’s actually probably on the list upwards of ten times.
what am i doing with my life

Re: FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 1/?

Oh, I'm excited! :D And eagerly waiting for more!

Re: FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 1/?

you are doing a fine work with your life anon, don't worry ;)

Re: FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 1/?

ahhh! i'm so excited to see this getting filled!


how am i only noticing this now when i'm tweaking 1b?!

FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 1b/?

kjfdskfa! i am so glad you guys like it so far! infinite internet!snuggles for you all.
anyway, as you can probably see above, i fucked up and put that part as just plain 1 instead of 1a. sorry for any potential confusion, but this is part is the pesky 1b that i've been trying to tweak and i'm still just kind of eh about.

because this is au and WHATEVA WHATEVA I DO WHAT I WANT, let's say, for story purposes, that sean goes to harvard and (for later bits) mark is an only child.


The room holding the debate is pretty packed, and it’s only thanks to the saint that is Chris Hughes that Mark and Dustin get seats in the front row. Again, Dustin’s the one to warmly greet him, while Mark just gives him a hurried nod and pulls his laptop out of his backpack to code a few things for Coursematch until the debate begins.

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” Chris remarks in Mark’s direction, because he’s a morning person and has been between classes since seven o’clock. A shit-eating grin flashes across his face. “Did someone sit on you again?”

“Fuck off,” Mark mutters because dude, that only happened once, fingers clacking away at the keys of his MacBook, only stopping when the debate team captain strides confidently to the front of the room. He’s tall, built, blonde, and looks like he’s gotten lost on the way to an Abercrombie photo shoot, so of course he’s a Winklevoss twin.

“Ladies and gentlemen, settle down, settle down,” the captain, Cameron or Tyler or whoever the fuck, says, raised arms lowering to indicate that he wants everyone to shut the hell up. “Today’s debate topic: should age of consent laws be made more liberal?” This elicits a few scattered groans from across the room that Winklevii Clone Experiment #1 shrugs off. “First, presenting the affirmative opinion, we have Mr. Sean Parker.”

Dustin stifles a laugh and jabs his elbow into Mark’s ribs when the room rings with applause. “No wonder you chose today to come in,” he whispers hastily. “Your man-crush on Sean is so obvious.”

Mark deliberately ignores him, closing his laptop and watching Sean stride up to the podium. “Shut up and listen.”

The thing about Sean Parker is that, despite all rumors and theories of him being the biggest douche to ever walk the earth, he’s actually incredibly articulate and witty. He’s fascinating to watch, and not just because he’s got big blue eyes and short, sandy curls that seem to catch everyone’s attention. Sean’s persuasive as hell, and chances are, he’s going to end up as a big-shot entrepreneur later on in life. But that’s it. Mark doesn’t have a crush on him, and he definitely doesn’t fantasize about making out with him against the wall, if that’s what you’re asking.

“The Man thinks he can control our minds, but he can’t control our bodies, am I right? Sure, he can tell us we can’t have a martini or two until we’re twenty-one, that we can’t rent a damn car until we’re twenty-five, but is it right for The Man to dictate what age we have to be to freely give our bodies to whomever we choose?” Sean concludes the speech Mark’s been zoned out for most of, thrusting a fist in the air and grinning triumphantly when the room erupts into applause, even a few of the girls who had been groaning initially.

Two seats to Mark’s right, Chris has one hand over his face. “He makes the worst points in the world, how does he win over a crowd like that?”

“Because he looks like a boy band wet dream, right, Mark?” Dustin says teasingly, pushing into Mark’s side.Mark rolls his eyes and reopens his laptop because he really doesn’t care about the other debater.
i was strapped on what debate topic to use so i thought to myself, 'what would sean parker do?'. also i haven't been do a debate club meeting since i was 17 so i hardly remember protocol. :x

Re: FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 1b/? - (Anonymous), 2011-11-20 05:45 am (UTC)(Expand)

FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 2a/?

i'm sorry for the delay! at first it was coming out weird, then i had like six papers to write, then i had to study for an evil math exam that nearly reduced me to tears, but i FINALLY rewatched the movie this weekend and got ~inspired~


Mark gets a call from his mother on Saturday afternoon. He’s sitting on one end of the couch while Chris and Dustin face off on a game of Halo in front of him when his cell phone rings on the coffee table. He contemplates not answering it, but when the screen lights up with the word “Mom”, he figures it’s probably best to pick up and not face the wrath of a peeved Jewish mother later on.

“Hi Mark, honey! Are you eating well?” Mrs. Zuckerberg greets before Mark can even get out a “hello?”.

“Mom,” is all he says before she launches into a new conversation.

“So I got a call from your grandmother this morning.”

Mark’s suddenly confused because his maternal grandmother has been dead for four years and he’s only ever met his paternal grandmother once, at his father’s funeral.

“My— What?” He lifts himself from the couch and crosses over to his room because Dustin is giving him a death glare that clearly says that the conversation is throwing off his Halo mojo.

“Your father’s mother, the one who lives in Genovia,” Mrs. Zuckerberg replies. “She’s going to be in Boston next week and she wants to meet you for tea tomorrow.”

Mark is geographically aware enough to know that Genovia and Boston are nowhere near each other. “She came all the way from Genovia to have tea?”


Mark’s already on the Red Line when he receives a text on from an unfamiliar number with the address of the house his grandmother’s staying in. He maps out the route in his mind, comparing the duration of the trip to the duration of his laptop battery, satisfied when he notes that he’ll have just enough battery power for the trip there and back. He codes a few things, switches to the Green Line halfway through the trip, and checks his email to kill time. It’s mostly just junk mail. Dustin’s sent him a bunch of pictures of cats in compromising positions, and for some unknown reason, he’s got a message from Eduardo, telling him to have a good day and there’s even a damn smiling emoticon.

Mark doesn’t understand Eduardo. Really, he’s Dustin’s friend more than anything else and Mark isn’t even sure if he’s ever had a full one-on-one conversation with him, but there sits the email.

have a good day out, mark! :)

Mark doesn’t respond, he just clicks the X on his internet browser and closes his laptop in time for his train stop.


FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 2b/? - (Anonymous), 2011-11-22 08:34 am (UTC)(Expand)
FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 2c/? - (Anonymous), 2011-11-22 08:38 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 2c/? - (Anonymous), 2011-11-22 12:44 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 2c/? - (Anonymous), 2011-11-25 05:47 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 2c/? - (Anonymous), 2011-12-16 12:59 am (UTC)(Expand)
author!anon here! - (Anonymous), 2011-12-17 11:01 pm (UTC)(Expand)

FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 3a/?

i'm so sorry about the delay! i had the worst time with finals and studying and end of semester work, but now i'm back and i have an idea of where this is going and YAY.

It’s dark outside by the time Mark returns to Kirkland. There was a delay on the Red Line, which he wasn’t too fussed over until his laptop battery died in the middle of watching a torrent of The Matrix and left him with nothing to do but leave his headphones on and pretend he was listening to music so nobody would bother him. Now, when he steps into the suite, he’s prepared to punch the next thing that moves, so Dustin and his plucky attitude had better watch out.

It’s mostly quiet other than the low hum of the television, mainly because Dustin appears to be playing a one-man game of Chubby Bunny in the corner and his mouth is so full of marshmallows that his voice is barely audible over the fluff. Chris is the epitome of a college student, slumped over his biology textbook and shoveling ramen noodles down his throat like he hasn’t eaten in days. Eduardo is asleep on the couch in front of an old episode of The Twilight Zone because it’s not like he has a dorm of his own or anything.

“Mmrgpfh!” Dustin calls through his mouthful of marshmallows, waving an arm in the air in Mark’s general direction. He’s ready to injure Dustin bodily when Chris shushes the auburn-haired boy.

“Shut it, Dustin. Wardo’s asleep.”

Mark narrows his eyes. “Why is he even here?”

“Needed a captive audience to practice his speech for the Investors Association meeting Friday night,” Chris answers without even looking up, eyes still trained on the book in front of him.

Mark shakes his head lightly and steps into his bedroom, closing the door behind him so he can call his mother without disturbing anyone with the inevitable heated argument that’s coming.

Mrs. Zuckerberg picks up on the second ring. Her voice is cautious when she answers, “Hey baby boy.”

Mark skips all greetings and formalities and dives right in with a pointed, “When were you planning on telling me?”

His mother is silent for a long moment. A brief sigh comes through her end of the phone before she replies. “I take it she told you.”

Mark wants to snap, wants to bite out something vicious and venomous, because that’s how he’s feeling, vicious and venomous, but he refrains. His sharp tongue has never worked on his mother, she and her psychoanalytical mind know him far too well. The line falls silent when they both search for words.

Mark has always known who he is. He knows he’s a self-assured asshole (as does the half of The Thirsty Scholar that heard Erica Albright break up with him last month), and he knows he’s difficult and unpopular and rude and maybe a little more vulnerable than he lets on. He knows these things; if he’s completely unaware to the feelings of others, he’s at least introspective, so the thought that maybe he doesn’t know himself like he used to think he did aches somewhere deep in the pit of his stomach.

“I just don’t understand why you’d never tell me,” Mark chokes, quieter and more broken than intended. He hears his mother coo reassuringly on the other line and some of the tension eases up.

“Sweetheart, I had every intention of telling you, but after your father passed, I just wanted you to have a normal life.”

Mark doesn’t even realize he’s crying until a whimper escapes his throat and a steady stream of tears drips down his neck and soaks uncomfortably into the cotton of the t-shirt against his chest. “Normal? Mom, I was tortured as a kid. It’s only recently that I’ve learned to be invisible so nobody gives a shit. You think that’s normal?

FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 3b/? - (Anonymous), 2011-12-20 12:57 am (UTC)(Expand)

FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 4a/?

i am the slowest and most easily distracted writer ever. but you guys are really really wonderful.
also new lj is horrible and i want it to die 100 deaths.

Mark isn’t sure if it’s okay or not in the morning because makes a conscious decision to ignore everything that happened past six o’clock the previous night (except for maybe teasing Dustin about nearly choking to death on a marshmallow). He intends to spend most of his day sleeping, since he’d made the conscious decision at the beginning of the year not to take any classes on Mondays because fuck Mondays, but Dustin attempts at convincing him to go play laser tag with Billy and Chris keep waking him up. Finally, around two-thirty, Mark rolls out of bed and into the common room to raid the mini-fridge in the corner because his stomach is screaming at him. It figures that the shelves are lined with nothing but beer and pretzels that were once soft, but are now shriveled and stale.

He wonders for a moment if Eduardo has any food in his dorm before nearly smacking himself for letting the thought cross his mind.

The only sensible choice, not that Mark is very sensible or anything, is to go down to the dining hall and hope they haven’t run out of all palatable food and left him with mystery meat loaf, so that’s what he does, still in his pajamas.

He immediately regrets the fashion choice (or lack thereof) when Sean Fucking Parker ends up next to him in the line for sandwiches, all cool and fashionable with a blonde girl clinging to his side.

Because that’s what Mark’s life has come to. First he gets told that he’s the prince of some irrelevant country, and now the guy he’s had a silly juvenile crush on for a year and a half is getting handsy with some random coed right in front of his face. Really stellar life he’s living.

Sean visibly eyeballs him, and Mark just wants to sink into the floor because he can feel himself blushing up a storm and it’s ridiculous because he doesn’t get crushes.

Sean unhooks his arm from the girl’s waist. “Mark, right?”

And Mark’s brain is equal parts oh my god he knows who I am and stop thinking ‘oh my god he knows who I am’, you’re not a thirteen-year-old girl.

“Did I accidentally tell off your girlfriend or something?” he asks, immediately kicking himself mentally for sucking at being a human being in general.

Sean chuckles, swings an arm around Mark’s neck. “Not my girlfriend,” he says, then drops his voice down to a mumble so the girl can’t hear him. “Not for more than a couple hours at least.”

Mark laughs humorlessly, unable to tell what exactly the other boy’s getting at.

“I meant you’re the guy who made Coursematch,” Sean says, nudging Mark’s shoulder with his other fist. “Good job, bro.”

Mark recoils at the term ‘bro’. He wants ‘bro’ to jump off of the Golden Gate Bridge and drown in the freezing cold water beneath it. He wants ‘bro’ to get eaten by a giant marlin. He wants to subject ‘bro’ to a hyperactive and intoxicated Dustin.

He doesn’t want to be Sean’s ‘bro’, goddamnit, he wants to be so much more than that. Which is weird and creepy and doesn’t sit right with him, so Mark just lets out that sour chuckle again.

“Yeah, I—thanks. Any particular reason you’re acknowledging this?”

Sean smiles, a unreadable but clearly knowing grin stretching across his face. “Oh, no reason. Just hearing some rumblings, you know, same ol’, same ol’.”

At that he unwinds his arm from Mark’s neck, grabs his food, and walks away with his girl of the moment, but not before sending Mark a wink over his shoulder.

There are so many things wrong with Mark’s life, so very many things that he has to grab a second sandwich to drown his feelings with.


FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 4b/? - (Anonymous), 2012-01-12 05:53 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 4b/? - (Anonymous), 2012-01-12 06:26 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 4b/? - (Anonymous), 2012-01-21 02:59 am (UTC)(Expand)

FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 5a/?

Chris takes it upon himself to get to the bottom of The Crown Debacle, as Dustin has named it. He’s inspected the box about a hundred times, looking for any signs of who it could be from and interrogating Dustin about the “big scary man” who dropped it off.

The stupid thing is that Mark knows exactly who it’s from, but he’s hell-bent on ignoring that problem until it all blows over and she finds another poor sucker to run her shitty country. And even if he wasn’t ignoring it, it’s not exactly like he can blurt it out to people anyway, even the people he begrudgingly calls his best friends.

“Mark,” Chris begins, sitting down on the ratty sofa next to him. He places a hand on his shoulder blade. “You’re sure this isn’t malicious? I mean, I know when I came out—”

Mark actually snorts. “You think I’m being bullied? Christ, I came out as bi years ago, I don’t think people could give less of a shit if they tried. If they wanted to do real damage, anyway, they’d do a hell of a lot better than sending me a crown to subtly imply that I’m a queen.”

Chris frowns. “I just don’t see what else it could be about.”

“It doesn’t matter to me, and it shouldn’t to you either. Can I eat in peace now?”

As if on cue, there’s a knock on the door that drowns out Chris’s insolent “I’ll bet it was Sean Parker, the asshole” enough so that Mark doesn’t have to respond to it. He’s about to tell the person at the door to fuck off as well, but Dustin of course has to be the sociable little fuck that he is, and he bounds to the door and lets Eduardo in. Why the boy’s never in his own dorm will forever be a question lurking in the back of Mark’s mind.

“Hey Ma—” The name only gets halfway out of Eduardo’s mouth before he spies the gleaming headgear on the table. “Nice, um… crown? What’s this all about?”

“Chris thinks it’s homophobic bullying but I think someone’s finally gotten around to crowning Mark King of Moodyville,” answers Dustin, because he’s apparently Mark’s mouthpiece now.

Eduardo laughs for the briefest moment before he sits where Chris had been before, reaching his arm out to rub tiny circles against his t-shirt with his thumb. “Everything okay, man?”

“Nothing even happened, why—” Mark stammers and tries not to groan in frustration. “Why are you here?”

“I, um… I could go.” And then Eduardo has to flash those big, expressive eyes that tell Mark that he’s wounded the little fawn inside of his soul. Of course he does. “If that, um—if it’s what you want.”

If Eduardo didn’t remind Mark so much of the sad old beagle he had as a child, he wouldn’t have reacted the way he did.

“I wasn’t—I didn’t mean it like that. Come on, sit back down, Jesus Christ, it’s like having a puppy again.” Mark makes a tight waving motion with his arms and Eduardo cautiously slides back down next to him, watching with big blinking eyes.

FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 5b/? - (Anonymous), 2012-02-05 09:33 pm (UTC)(Expand)
Re: FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 5b/? - (Anonymous), 2012-03-14 06:08 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 5b/? - (Anonymous), 2012-03-15 08:35 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 5b/? - (Anonymous), 2012-03-15 09:26 am (UTC)(Expand)

FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 6a/?

what is my problem that it takes me so long to write these things oh god


Mark actually has class on Tuesday, which kind of sucks because Dustin kept him up for most of the night talking about what would happen if he ended up taking over the world, a conversation Mark generally would have fallen asleep during if he hadn’t had to sit up every nine seconds to remind Dustin of how insignificant Genovia is from a global standpoint. (“Well, your princeliness, you got the short end of the weird royal stick,” Dustin had insisted before knocking out on the couch.)

The difference between pulling an all-nighter while coding and pulling an all-nighter while Dustin incessantly jabbers in your ear is that at least with coding, Mark’s mind is at ease. Dustin’s (likely) his best friend and all, but sometimes his voice makes Mark want to claw out his own eyeballs.

So Mark goes through all of his classes bleary-eyed and exhausted, yawning into the crook of his elbow and once nearly falling asleep on his notes in Art History before that Stephanie girl that Dustin’s been pining over pinches him to wake him up. Mark glares at her and decides that such a horrible person deserves the fate of being with Dustin.

On the way back to the suite, once again, he stops by the dining hall to pick up whatever they have that looks mildly edible, and once again, he runs into Sean Fucking Parker. At least he’s dressed this time.

Sean smiles over at Mark when they’re both at the condiment cart, eyes gleaming with that mysterious glint that Mark finds so strangely attractive.

“Zuckerberg,” Sean says coolly, bumping his shoulder against Mark’s. “Fancy seeing you here again.”

Mark overfills his little paper cup with ketchup that spills down his hand when he replies, “Yeah, um. Just… getting food.”

Sean nods. “Speaking of, M.Z., we should some time.”

Mark feels his throat dry up. He makes a mental note that Sean’s not with a girl today. “We should what?”

Sean’s eyes roll in a sort of charmed fashion. “Go out, eat shitty Chinese food, pretend we’re tourists, whatever,” he explains, nudging Mark’s shoulder again. “Friday at, say, six-ish?”

Mark gives a hurried nod and tries to get away before Sean can tell that his face has gone completely red, but the blonde tugs his arm lightly before he escapes.

“Meet me by the statue in the Yard,” Sean says. “Don’t be late.”


FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 6b/? - (Anonymous), 2012-04-17 08:32 am (UTC)(Expand)
FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 6c/? - (Anonymous), 2012-04-17 08:33 am (UTC)(Expand)

FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 7a/?

Eduardo takes it well enough.

(Well, he does because Mark lies and says that his sister’s meeting him for dinner that night. What he doesn’t know won’t kill him.)

He gets these big, sad puppy dog eyes but he nods and says, “Yeah, yeah, that’s fine, have fun,” all the same. It’s Chris and Dustin that are being drama queens, glaring pointedly at him while they all sit on the couch that night, eating dollar store ramen noodles and watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail for the thousandth time.

Mark hates Eduardo a teensy bit because he almost feels bad. Almost.

He doesn’t see Sean in the dining hall for the rest of the week to confirm plans, but he readies himself on Friday night nonetheless. Chris is still glaring at him and Dustin’s mostly taken to teasing him relentlessly.

“Don’t tell Sean’s hair we ate its ancestors for dinner the other night. Do you think when he’s really hungry he just boils his own head? And does it just grow back? He could solve world hunger with that head if he stopped putting so much gel in it.” Dustin rambles while Mark half-listens, stretched across the couch with his laptop open. There’s an email from his grandmother – how did she even get that? – that he doesn’t feel like opening until Chris snoops over his shoulder.

“Parliament email addresses and everything, shit,” he says, though his tone still isn’t as friendly as usual. “You really aren’t lying.”

Mark rolls his eyes and moves the pointer to delete it, but Chris lets out an undignified squawk. “You can’t just delete an email from the queen! ”

“Yeah!” Dustin agrees, though Mark knows he’s only about sixty percent sure of what they’re talking about. “That’s probably punishable under some sort of royal decree.”

Mark is certain that if he keeps rolling his eyes, they’re going to fall out of his head. Hesitantly, he clicks the email, unsure of what he’s really expecting, but dreading it all the same.

Even the formatting is overly shi-shi, purple and gold and royal blue email stationery because apparently Genovian royalty is too good to send plaintext emails.

I have spoken with your mother and we both believe it is in your best interest to meet up again, this Saturday at promptly ten o’clock in the morning. I do hope you will reconsider my offer.

And that’s it, nothing fond and not even a goodbye. He almost feels betrayed that his mother is now in on this, but at the same time, the thought of having her around when his grandmother inevitably gets condescending is comforting.

Mark closes the email and sits silently for a moment while Chris and Dustin formulate their responses. Dustin’s is mostly disbelieving laughter, but Chris’s hard expression fades to a soft frown when he sits on the armrest just near Mark’s head.

“You’re going to think I’m just saying this because I don’t like him, but you shouldn’t go out with Sean tonight.”

Mark shakes his head. “How did I know that was coming?”

“I’m serious, Mark! For one, you’ve got to be up early to get there in time. Secondly, Sean Parker is a manipulative bastard. You’ve seen him in debate mode: the guy could sell popsicles to an Eskimo. Get a few drinks in you, and he’ll have you spilling all about your royal secret.”

“He’s not going to get it out of me,” Mark insists because Chris is the world’s biggest fan of jumping to conclusions. He should get a commemorative t-shirt. “I’m not an idiot.”

“You’re not,” Chris agrees, grey eyes all wide and earnest and friendly again, expression telling Mark that he’s about to say something completely rational. Damn him. “You’re actually incredibly bright, even if your social graces are lacking, and that is why I’m nervous Sean’s going to mess with you somehow. Just… be careful?”

“Yes, Mom,” Mark says, elbowing Chris in the ribs because why the fuck must he be so reasonable. If he was wackier like Dustin or an asshole like himself, Mark maybe wouldn’t take any mind to his advice, but Chris actually knows what he’s talking about most of the time.

From behind them, leaning over the back of the couch, Dustin ruffles Mark’s hair and stretches an arm around Chris’s shoulders. “Our baby’s all grown up! Run along now, child, your mother and I have adult things to do.”


FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 7b/? - (Anonymous), 2012-05-04 11:51 am (UTC)(Expand)
FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 7c/? - (Anonymous), 2012-05-04 11:54 am (UTC)(Expand)
Re: FILL: the crown of love is not upon me, 7c/? - (Anonymous), 2012-07-26 04:41 pm (UTC)(Expand)